Miss-gendering & misgendering

[dillon]

Just saying that I wouldn't have considered it an issue. In my part of the world it is more common than not, as a polite address of deference and respect to a stranger or a customer. As a child, I would have been scolded for failing to say Sir or Ma'am to any adult except my own parents. And I knew kids who had to address their own fathers as Sir.

I think it's understandable if the clerk only heard your voice or sensed your carriage or demeanor before looking at your attire. It wouldn't have occurred to me that it would really impact anyone's sense of gender, especially if your gender identity was ambiguously expressed. Though, if you're living as a woman or impersonating a female, I suppose you might have preferred a Ma'am, or no distinction at all. But too, I can imagine the clerk's confusion. It's clearly no intended offense, and I would consider it an act of simple politeness.

[skirtyscot]

Everyone should adopt the West of Scotland mode of address "Pal". Traditionally used to address men (the female equivalent being "hen", which some women don't like), but I see no reason why it shouldn't be used for women, and I have heard that done. It's friendly*, unisex, suitable for all ages and races. What's not to like?

*Usually. But an aggressive drunk Glaswegian can make it threatening if he wants to!

[denimini]

Everyone should adopt the West of Scotland mode of address "Pal". Traditionally used to address men (the female equivalent being "hen", which some women don't like), but I see no reason why it shouldn't be used for women, and I have heard that done. It's friendly*, unisex, suitable for all ages and races. What's not to like?

In Australia we have "mate" which is starting to be used between women as well. I play it safe and just say "thanks" or whatever. The person you are talking to knows it is attributed to them.

I have had an elderly lady say thankyou Madam to me, in a skirt but with beard, hairy legs and work boots ... ??!

*Usually. But an aggressive drunk Glaswegian can make it threatening if he wants to!

I know

[Milfmog]

Everyone should adopt the West of Scotland mode of address "Pal". Traditionally used to address men (the female equivalent being "hen", which some women don't like), but I see no reason why it shouldn't be used for women, and I have heard that done. It's friendly*, unisex, suitable for all ages and races. What's not to like?

*Usually. But an aggressive drunk Glaswegian can make it threatening if he wants to!

Hmmm... This may be a geographical thing, but I detest being called pal, mate, love, pet, buddy (or worse Bud - I am not a nasty American alternative to beer). I'm afraid I find all the above to be lazy or over familiar, though that may just be me.

Pal, when used in the south east, is more often a challenge / aggressive term than a friendly one as in "What do you think you're doing, Pal?"

I also don't like being called Sir very much, but, at least the degree of formality suggests some respect and I usually only hear it when a customer is being addressed by a supplier.

Have fun,


Ian.

[Couya]

You are not alone, Ian. I do not take kindly to hearing those terms.

It is strange the contrast north or south of the Pyrenees (France v Spain, for the geographically challenged).
Although it is becoming less common today, one always addressed ones equals and superiors with a polite Madame or Monsieur in France (and no-one bothered to learn any names), whereas, south of the border everyone uses first names, and I don't think I have heard Señor or Señora more than once or twice, though I have been called "Caballero" occasionally.

Martin

[Kirbstone]

In my experience those familiar forms of male-to-male address are not used here, but I don't frequent building sites or factory floors. Christian names are a little too commonly used here and in my direction the use of Dr. is usual.

In Germany it was Herr Doktor, with only those members of societies & clubs using Christian names by agreement.

Tom

[rick401r]

I was working at a jewelry shop in a small village. The population and the visitors of the village has a large LBGT population. I worried how to address customers when they entered the shop. Should I say ladies or gentlemen, sir or ma'am, guys, folks, etc. Being in the midwest I got away with guys as in "Good morning. How are you guys doing today?" Most of the time though I would simply say "Good morning. Welcome."

[denimini]

It is easy in the small town where I live, I know everyones's name or nickname. Sometimes people here use "Bud" short for brother and "Sis", which is rather endearing, particularly when applied to strangers.

[skirtingtoday]

In Glasgow (Scotland) where I was born and brought up, men were all colloquially called "Jimmy" regardless of what their actual name was. It was generally done in a friendly manner except for the provocative expression "See you Jmmy" which can be a prelude to a fight (or A Glasgow kiss!)

Women are all called "Hen" as in "Are ye aw reet Hen?" when enquiring as to their health and well-being.

I have been called "sir" oddly enough more often when wearing a skirt than with trousers - which I take as a generally friendly gesture rather than deference to a perceived superior "station" I don't mind it.