Do folks notice or not?

[Eborian]

People do not notice, or if they do it has been to make favourable comments about what I am wearing.

[partlyscot]

A few days ago, I was doing a "size and sort" at the end of the day, and one of the new hires for the Christmas season, (she's been here for a couple of weeks) was struggling to reach a high rail to replace a jacket. I took the item and placed it on the rail. Even at 6'2" I had to stretch a bit. She thanked me and I made a joke about it being the only reason they hired me, 'they have to employ a few of us to to deal with the tall shelves" She demurred, and said that she knew I was a helpful sort as I had helped her with her bike back in the Summer. I looked at her but didn't immediately recognize her. "You helped cut the cable lock when I had locked the bike in the car without the key, I sent you a picture afterwards" Then I remembered, "Oh right! Of course you were just sneaking a pic of me in my skirt!" Which is what I suspected at the time, but it didn't bother me. She didn't understand, and I said "I thought you were just sneaking a picture of me wearing a skirt" While pulling out the skirt I was wearing to show what I was talking about. She hadn't noticed. Nor had she noticed back in the Summer, even though I had been walking in front of her at the time, and she's been working there for about 2 weeks, and has seen me on multiple occasions. At this time, I was wearing a fairly obvious grey tweedy knee length with a nice movement to it, AND a pair of argyle tights which definitely drew attention. She categorically denied noticing any of it.

Now I just don't know, can't understand how people can just not see.

[Darryl]

Your five senses bombard you with around 2 million bits of information every second. In order to preserve your sanity you filter the incoming information before your brain processes it and makes internal representations from this information.

Deletion - Deletions happen when you pay attention to some information coming in through your senses but are completely oblivious to other stimuli.

We see all kinds of things, and if they're not outrageous in some way, if you don't stand out or otherwise grab our attention, and especially if we are busy or preoccupied, we promptly flag them as "business formal" or "business casual" or "work uniform" and go on with the more important things.

Deletion—you’re so vague

When you are listening, you naturally ignore many extra sounds, saving you the effort of processing every single word. When you speak, you economize on all the details you could share. This is called deletion because something has been removed.

To help you operate at peak efficiency, deletion delivers a valuable critical screening mechanism. Selective attention is deletion. Deletions in our language encourage us to fill in the gaps—to imagine—to make it up.

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The above, I think, plays a part. I noticed a guy in a skirt, brown, almost thought Utilikilt but there wasn't even an attempt at pleats Saturday when wandering through the mall. I noticed, I think, in the same way that when you buy "Brand X" automobile you start seeing them all over the place, and you start "forgetting" to see the "Brand Y" car you used to have. Otherwise I speculate that it depends on how "busy" the person's "CPU" is - if overloaded they likely won't notice what you're wearing. If idling, they'll frown and stare, etc.as they try to resolve the 'cognitive dissonance.'

Just thinking. (Warning: this is dangerous.)

[melsav]

I think people do notice. In the 60 plus years I wore pants and shorts I never got 1 compliment. Since I have been wearing kilts when ever I can, I get compliments almost every weekend.

[denimini]

A few days ago, I was doing a "size and sort" at the end of the day, and one of the new hires for the Christmas season, (she's been here for a couple of weeks) was struggling to reach a high rail to replace a jacket. I took the item and placed it on the rail. Even at 6'2" I had to stretch a bit. She thanked me and I made a joke about it being the only reason they hired me, 'they have to employ a few of us to to deal with the tall shelves" She demurred, and said that she knew I was a helpful sort as I had helped her with her bike back in the Summer. I looked at her but didn't immediately recognize her. "You helped cut the cable lock when I had locked the bike in the car without the key, I sent you a picture afterwards" Then I remembered, "Oh right! Of course you were just sneaking a pic of me in my skirt!" Which is what I suspected at the time, but it didn't bother me. She didn't understand, and I said "I thought you were just sneaking a picture of me wearing a skirt" While pulling out the skirt I was wearing to show what I was talking about. She hadn't noticed. Nor had she noticed back in the Summer, even though I had been walking in front of her at the time, and she's been working there for about 2 weeks, and has seen me on multiple occasions. At this time, I was wearing a fairly obvious grey tweedy knee length with a nice movement to it, AND a pair of argyle tights which definitely drew attention. She categorically denied noticing any of it.

Now I just don't know, can't understand how people can just not see.

It is possible that some people don't notice, I was quite disbelieving when people said they hadn't noticed when their attention was drawn to the fact, thinking that they were too gutless to comment or acknowledge. As I have said before, one would need to wear something like a pink tutu to be sure of being noticed - and even then nothing guarranteed ...... not putting tu and tu together.

[oldsalt1]

I think a lot of people notice but as Darrly said the majority of them just filter it out and move on. Every now and then you will run into the old busy body who has nothing going on in her life and she will think she has the right to pass her comments . I wear skirts a lot and I would say 99 %of the people are just to busy with their lives to pay attention. I ran into the other 1% last week at the utility company. There were about 20 people waiting to pay their bill. While I was waiting I heard this old B talking on her cell phone. I could hear he say "he's standing on the other side of the room hes wearing white knee socks and a skirt yea a real short skirt. I few minutes later I heard the same conversation a second time. She wouldn't quit when she went up to the clerk I could hear her pointing me out to the clerk. So some people do notice but it is only in rare instances that they pay any attention to it

[Charlie]

Went to se the Doctor this morning. At the end of the consultation he remarked on my kilt (black Union kilt), saying you don't see many of them around. I told him I preferred skirts to trousers and usually folk-danced in them. He seemed accepting and remarked that they must be more comfortable.
Charlie

[john62]

Today in the bank I was wearing an ankle length brown skirt, as I passed an older couple, that man said to his wife?, "that is interesting", yes people notice.

John

[denimini]

I think a lot of people notice but as Darrly said the majority of them just filter it out and move on. Every now and then you will run into the old busy body who has nothing going on in her life and she will think she has the right to pass her comments . I wear skirts a lot and I would say 99 %of the people are just to busy with their lives to pay attention. I ran into the other 1% last week at the utility company. There were about 20 people waiting to pay their bill. While I was waiting I heard this old B talking on her cell phone. I could hear he say "he's standing on the other side of the room hes wearing white knee socks and a skirt yea a real short skirt. I few minutes later I heard the same conversation a second time. She wouldn't quit when she went up to the clerk I could hear her pointing me out to the clerk. So some people do notice but it is only in rare instances that they pay any attention to it

Sadly, some poor souls do not have a life of their own. You may have given her a weeks worth of excitement.
Was she wearing a skirt or pants; you could have feigned a phone conversation; "there is an old biddy here wearng pants ...... yes, definitely divided in the centre ..... no, no, not at all young ......"
or
"there is an old biddy here that is so excited about my clothing, doesn't look like she has a great fashion interest though ....."

[oldsalt1]

All of these come backs are great. Unfortunately we don't remember them at the instant they are needed. I think that normally my wearing a skirt is a non event to most people. But this old bitty was talking so loud she was directing the entire rooms attention to my skirt. Now I can say that I will never see these people again and I don't care what they think but at the time it was pretty unnerving

[Caultron]

All of these come backs are great. Unfortunately we don't remember them at the instant they are needed. I think that normally my wearing a skirt is a non event to most people. But this old bitty was talking so loud she was directing the entire rooms attention to my skirt. Now I can say that I will never see these people again and I don't care what they think but at the time it was pretty unnerving

A friendly smile, a, "Good morning," and a, "Have a nice day," go a long way.

[skirtingtheissue]

Got another positive remark, in San Diego at a restaurant. I walked past some women and saw one gazing downward at my Mountain Hardwear skirt. I kept going and one of them mentioned "Look" or something and then "-----[name not heard well] should try that!" I took that as a positive remark.

Like many other skirters here, mostly I don't notice people noticing and rarely hear any remarks.

-----Henry

[oldsalt1]

I ran into a situation today I would like the members opinion on. With few exceptions I wear skirts all over . One of my few holdouts is my VFW Post. I am just not ready for that yet . I know a few members have seen my skirts but nothing was ever said. Today I was at costco. I had on one of my denim skirts. I was walking down the Isle and I see my Best friend from the post. Up to now he didn't know about my skirts.

I took a deep breath and walked over to him. I was pushing a shopping cart so that might have obstructed his view a little. WE talked for about 10 minutes. As we were leaving I couldn't take the suspense so I brought up the subject. I said I guess that you see I am dressed a little different. His comment was so" you are wearing shorts Glenn wears them all the time " I said no pat I am wearing a skirt.
His comment was that he did not notice . I see no reason for him to lie but I thought that between walking over to him and standing there for 10 minutes talking he might have noticed.

I am trying to decide if he really didn't notice or was he just trying to be kind . His parting words was that what I wear is none of his business. I am going to see him again tonight at the post I'll let you know if there is any different reaction. I will have pants on tonight.

[Caultron]

..His parting words was that what I wear is none of his business.,.

I'd say take him at face value and count it as a success.

[crfriend]

His parting words was that what I wear is none of his business.

Take him at his word -- on both counts.

First point: You were wearing denim. That fabric is so ubiquitous in the USA that most folks' minds filter it out and generalised assumptions get made, in this case "shorts". It's highly probable that he really didn't notice.

Second: "It's not my business what you wear." This can indicate any number of things, most of which will work to your advantage unless you one day decide to show up at the Post in a chiffon evening gown. I've been surprised over my time about just how open-minded military types can be, at least once they retire; I have never had a lick of trouble around any and my style is a bit "out there". The notion of, It's not my business, denotes that he likely takes the viewpoint that if you're not injuring anyone you have the innate right to do as you please. This is actually the way it should be.

Couple the first point above and the collective bits in the second, and you can put this in your back pocket as a "win".

In thinking about my own progenitors, one of whom was military in the Second World War, I can reasonably surmise that my father absolutely would not have been able to wrap his head around my modern style. My grandfather (a decorated veteran), save for the Alzheimer's late on, possibly could based on some conversations I recall from when I was much younger and before the disease took his mind. My grandmother, though, I entirely expect would have "gotten it" after a conversation or two -- although she was a major detractor of me growing my hair out. "You'd be such a good looking young man if you got a hair-cut." -- which drove me entirely nuts, although she finally did seem to embrace it as I became very independent and successful on my own.