some attitude changes

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
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Bri
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Posts: 235
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:39 pm

some attitude changes

Post by Bri »

first off, I'm not perfect, I've flamed others, and I know it.


I saw the thread that I was going to comment on was locked and Bob was going to make a comment (big one) about the calling of manly versus femme.

I have an experience that just happened. Without any permission or asking me if I would like it. My fiancee dyed her hair a light brown shade. I was first like "I liked the original red that you had, and told her". Then I was about to say something like "why don't you ask me" or something selfish and really unneeded such as "well, I don't like the color". That's when the idea came into my mind of "dude, you wear skirts, and she is having to accept that. I think it's about *&#@ time that you let her do something without asking you".

I hope most of the people here get the inference from that small and short story. If not, the idea is that. It's a 2 lane road (as she puts it) you need to reciprocate what you get. Telling someone they're doing something girly or femme when you wear kilts because for some reason you won't let yourself wear skirts or are embarrassed to go out in one isn't even close to fair for anyone. Viewpoints are those, they're your opinions and shouldn't be stated as you're a guy, you need to do this to be one. This forum is exactly the opposite of that. I don't know if most of the people are having a bad day when they read it, but please, if the comment is going to be negative because it's against your personal feelings, then please don't comment. Wait until you can say something constructive. Or simply comment that whatever is in discussion is not for you. I personally don't like tomatoes, but I don't dislike the people that do or dislike that they can eat them without spitting them out instantly. It's one more fruit they can eat that I won't (the taste) but wish I could. Maybe it too is something that is just a learned comfort over time. The more of them I try to eat or actually do eat, the more I'll like them.
MarkReaves
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Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:47 am

Re: some attitude changes

Post by MarkReaves »

Good post, good points.

I had a similar situation a number of times with my wife. One time she wanted to cut her hair short (I like long hair) and I didn't want her to cut it. She cut it anyway. It wasn't too bad. Now I cut my hair real short (it can be seen when I take pictures of my new kilt with me in it that will be posted in a week or so).

She's also dyed her hair a couple of times and I like her natural hair color.

However, I myself am not very easy to live with. I like fire, explosions, experimenting with various foods and taking apart electronics. She has to put up with me leaving a hard drive or cdrom or computer case or half dismantled stereo laying here and there throughout the house.

The way I now look at life, material things are not important compared to things like love and self worth. Hair is hair. It will grow back. Clothing will come and go and be replaced. Computers will get old and slow and break eventually. Everything is nothing and nothing is everything.

That's why even if I lost every material item I have, it would not affect me. The only thing I want/need is my wife and myself and the wellbeing of both.
ChrisM
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Posts: 468
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2004 12:49 am
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Re: some attitude changes

Post by ChrisM »

Bri, I'd just like to thank you for that post.

Indeed, moments before reading it I was wondering why my wife wouldn't wear a different style and couldn't I change her preference... All why I boldly press forward with my own style without waiting for her agreement. Oops! What a double standard!

Thanks for pointing it out and reminding us of the golden rule.

Chris
Peter v
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Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 8:42 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: some attitude changes

Post by Peter v »

Thank you very much Bri, "bezint eer gij begint" is what we say in the Netherlands, which means, take a moment and think about what you are going to do, before you begin. There has been some posting back and forth, which is quite normal, with so many different people, but some postings of late were somewhat more to the point than we were used to reading. That is concerning and the new fenomenon is being adressed. If I read your post correctly, it encompasses the very essence of the skirt cafe community. you can attack a post if it is not you piece of cake, or you can say, I am sure cake is your thing, but I don't eat cake myself. something like that. It looked as if people were getting inflamed, and I am not used to that at all. But again, if the flames are doused and we get back to normal there is no harm done, as i said, we are just all different people, but please let us keep our manners. Thank you Bri, you have said it well.

All the while we are learning, and this is such a moment, let us all learn from it.

I am also glad to read that you are wearing skirts, not being forbidden to do so by your wife. It is naturally important to have consideration for your partners, and the relationship with each other can get distant sometimes. Life is a four lane street, and I think that you ( husband and wife ) should be both going in the same direction, not each going a different way. Each his own lane, thus each being free to go at his / her own pace, but still together to the same destination. ( with the same destination in mind)

be good, :wink: :P
peter v.
A man is the same man in a pair of pants or a skirt. It is only the way people look at him that makes the difference.
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