It's basically describing her personal journey from "hello? I'm a feminist, let men sort out their own (small) problems" to "hey guys, there are some real issues here that really need addressing". On the way she's included many personal anecdotes, but also did some research and also interviewed many men in her social circle and wider asking questions that men are never asked. The responses are for her eye-opening, yet for me quite relatable. It's fascinating to see the "world of men" explored by someone who is on the outside.
Along the way she passes why men don't go to the doctor, Andrew Tate, incels, clothing gets a brief mention (but not skirts), friendships, fatherhood and many other things. She has a sharp eye for unfairness which leads her to formulate two rules:
I think we on this forum can absolutely relate to this one. It's not even specifically a young man's problem either. The other one is:1. Fifty percent of young men's problems occur because of a fear of being called 'girly', 'soft' or primarily 'gay'
She points out that there actually was a Men's liberation movement that started around the time of the Women's liberation movement, but only lasted a few decades before fizzling out. There have been attempts at revival but in the last few decades we're getting things like Andrew Tate with his misogyny and that's just bad for everyone. Near the end she discusses what a modern Men's liberation movement would look like: what are the values that make a good man? She comes up with a list: non-judgemental, protective, up for anything, loyal, brave, hard-working, joyous, the urge to be helpful, tinkering, and a general sense of mucking in. These are not attributes that are going to win you any prizes or make you rich, but they will make you and those around you happy. And I agree they're absolutely good values we can encourage young boys to aspire to. Something that can be pit against [rad-fem hate-speech redacted].2. The patriarchy is screwing men as hard as it's screwing women.
And she raises the point: feminism is not going to do this for us, we have to do it ourselves. Just like no-one else is going to make it acceptable for men to wear skirts. We have to do it ourselves.
Now some caveats: if you are the kind of person who gets irritated by generalisations, this book is not for you. She does it a lot, which I get because it's hard to avoid them without making the whole thing sound like a scientific study. It's not scientific at all, so you have look past the generalisations to understand the point she's trying to make. Her life is absolutly not representative of all women, just like as any one of us is not representative of all men, so the generalisations go both ways. The men she interviews are not a good cross-section either. This book is not scientific in any way, but an opening for discussion.
The bit on the cover about how this book will make you laugh and cry? It's absolutely true.
Trying to have any discussion about this book with my SO just leads to discussions that go nowhere
. She's promised she'll read the book herself because maybe I'm just not explaining it properly. I'll report back to let you know how that goes.I'm not saying you should all go out and buy this book, but if you're looking for view on men's liberation that has a positive tone, you can find it here.
