Interesting old (oct 2020) Mumsnet forum, mainly about Mark Bryan

[Uncle Al]

I need to find a way to disable SMS on my mobile.

You may be able to delete your messaging app. But alternatively you can block individual senders, which will have fewer side-effects.

Normally I don't quote a full post but, in this case I am, and totally agree with blocking the number.
Just remember the KISS method, thus making it easier on yourself


Uncle Al

[TSH]

One thing they seem, I say 'seem' because I am an external observer, to agree on: if a man crosses the line and takes 'their skirts" then he's not going get a girlfriend.

......and all the tik-tokkers ,tweeters , influencers and red carpet catwalk celebrities will make no damn difference to that changing anytime soon.

If male fashion freedom became more widespread. They would swifty change their mind.

If male fashion freedom ever happens, it will not be because of those mentioned and I don't give a damn about who thinks that's wrong.
Even if it did, women can change their minds as often as their underwear or at a pace more suited to continental drift.
Our fashion freedom is not likely to change that either.
Right now, optimism is just not a word in my vocabulary.
Steve.

I have to agree with Steve, here, BM. I guess there's something to be admired about being optimistic in a world that, at best, is unsympathetic to us, and at worst — vehemently against us because of the simple idea that fashion should be equal across both men and women. I believe this is a set-up for disappointment. People are selfish, stupid assholes. That has never changed. People love double standards; it's why we're still in this piss-test.

[Women] are picky because they can be picky. If male fashion freedom became more widespread. They would swifty change their mind.

As a thought experiment, wind this thought forward a few moves. It'll reveal the circular logic that's holding any and all progress at bay.

Men are not going to move because the women won't, and the women won't move because they don't care, or, worse, have active disdain for the perception that guys are "invading their space". Recall, "Those who rock the cradle rule the world." The women are going to have to move first, and they're not about to. Why should they?

This is human history in a nutshell. Rather it's royalty, or just hypocritical, cognitively dissonant commoners hoarding privileges over others of similar or lower status, people relish in their own rights over those who have less or no rights of their own.

[Barleymower]

These points are true. Carl, Stevie and TSH have all correctly spotted the ***** state of affairs with regard to us and the choices we make, the attitudes towards men by the fairer sex. The attitudes of men as a group towards themselves, other men and women.

We can safely do nothing, weep into our pints because there's no point in fighting a war already lost. What are we saying here? Give up?

[MrSoapsud]

I need to find a way to disable SMS on my mobile.

If your mobile runs Android, investigate the Do not Disturb feature. This will set the phone not to alert you about most stuff between certain hours that you set. (I'd imagine iThings have a similar feature.)

[crfriend]

I think folks are missing my point about SMS. To me, it's been nothing but a source of unwelcome interrupts, and recently, considerable grief and distress. Thus I want to completely disable it.

Face it, I'm a guy who could survive quite nicely in the era of DC telegraphy and the post. Having a romance shot dead via SMS is quite perhaps the most cowardly thing I've ever seen in my life, and I've seen a fair bit of cowardice. People have forgotten how to communicate.

[MrSoapsud]

I think folks are missing my point about SMS. To me, it's been nothing but a source of unwelcome interrupts, and recently, considerable grief and distress. Thus I want to completely disable it.

That would be a big problem in the UK given how many web sites (especially but not limited to banking sites) want to send you a text code as a second factor authentication mechanism! Do you not have that in the US?

Meanwhile, back on the thread, I see a male has been brave enough to stick their head above the MumsNet parapet and name-checked the SkirtCafe!

[Dave]

Meanwhile, back on the thread, I see a male has been brave enough to stick their head above the MumsNet parapet and name-checked the SkirtCafe!

And for that, I predict they will be entirely ignored as they not a woman.

[Dust]

[Women] are picky because they can be picky. If male fashion freedom became more widespread. They would swifty change their mind.

As a thought experiment, wind this thought forward a few moves. It'll reveal the circular logic that's holding any and all progress at bay.

Men are not going to move because the women won't, and the women won't move because they don't care, or, worse, have active disdain for the perception that guys are "invading their space". Recall, "Those who rock the cradle rule the world." The women are going to have to move first, and they're not about to. Why should they?

This is human history in a nutshell. Rather it's royalty, or just hypocritical, cognitively dissonant commoners hoarding privileges over others of similar or lower status, people relish in their own rights over those who have less or no rights of their own.

In certain parts of society, especially dating, women have the upper hand. They are the aristocracy. We are the ones being told to get back in our place.

The other oddity of note for the relationship between the sexes, is that while women are in their prime in their youth, men have their most social clout as they get older, assuming some level of success.

Why does this matter for clothes? The fickle young women drive fashion. It's what looks sexy on women in their prime. Until recently, for men or was the reverse. It was what hides imperfections of the body of the old man that was the expected attire for all men. The suit. It works. It makes old men look dignified.

Now we are seeing change. As tic-tockers, musicians, athletes, and other young men gain more social clout, they drive men's clothing to things that look good on and show off younger, more athletic bodies. If we hope to someday get away with showing more skin, this is a cause for hope.

While some women are excited to see sexy shirtless men, others are wary of losing their power. They know looking good benefits them, and don't want to share those benefits. But others see it as license to act up (see sexual assaults of kilted men). Women are every bit as driven by sex as men are, but as a society we don't have standards for dealing with such situations. Will women police their own and set those standards? I'm not sure if men can set them...

And men aren't used to the attention. When I was first wolf-whistled by a woman in made me very uncomfortable. I don't want that much attention. And having been taught all my life not to do such things to women, the idea that women would do exactly that was shocking. But no one would dare call out a woman for it.

All these social norms need to be worked out as men's attire changes, and no one seems to want to talk this through. But it has to happen, and it can't be isolated to sympathetic places like the Cafe. Nor can we let it all happen at hostile places like this mum's net thing...

[STEVIE]

What are we saying here? Give up?

In certain parts of society, especially dating, women have the upper hand.

I guess there's something to be admired about being optimistic in a world that, at best, is unsympathetic to us, and at worst — vehemently against us because of the simple idea that fashion should be equal across both men and women. I believe this is a set-up for disappointment.

Ah, optimism, the triumph of hope over experience, but since I only want to date women they have a certain monopoly which will end when you prise my tights out of my cold dead fingers.
Bitter, you better believe it, I was bloody well stood-up last night.
Yeah, the damn old fool was optimistic for that one, should've known better.
Steve.
PS this one knew nothing about my "domestic" situation!

[TSH]

We can safely do nothing, weep into our pints because there's no point in fighting a war already lost. What are we saying here? Give up?

Why not? Why have faith in those who reliably disappoint you? What's the point of hoping for change when the opposition is going to do everything in their power to stop said change from happening? It might be safer just to do nothing.

As a thought experiment, wind this thought forward a few moves. It'll reveal the circular logic that's holding any and all progress at bay.

Men are not going to move because the women won't, and the women won't move because they don't care, or, worse, have active disdain for the perception that guys are "invading their space". Recall, "Those who rock the cradle rule the world." The women are going to have to move first, and they're not about to. Why should they?

This is human history in a nutshell. Rather it's royalty, or just hypocritical, cognitively dissonant commoners hoarding privileges over others of similar or lower status, people relish in their own rights over those who have less or no rights of their own.

In certain parts of society, especially dating, women have the upper hand. They are the aristocracy. We are the ones being told to get back in our place.

The fancy clothes women have easy access to certainly make them look higher-class than us plebeians.

The other oddity of note for the relationship between the sexes, is that while women are in their prime in their youth, men have their most social clout as they get older, assuming some level of success.

It ultimately depends on an individual's experiences. Each year sees me detest this wretched species of primates more and more. And I'm still fairly young, too, believe it or not.

Now we are seeing change. As tic-tockers, musicians, athletes, and other young men gain more social clout, they drive men's clothing to things that look good on and show off younger, more athletic bodies. If we hope to someday get away with showing more skin, this is a cause for hope.

Are we, though? Are we really? This has been on-going for years, now, and it still seems not much headway has been reached. These influencers often style skirts poorly and don't do a good job of swaying pigheaded, ignorant people that skirts aren't exclusive in the domain of femininity. These people might push a fringe group of young men to try out skirts, but it'd take more than any of this to make a measurable difference.

While some women are excited to see sexy shirtless men, others are wary of losing their power. They know looking good benefits them, and don't want to share those benefits. But others see it as license to act up (see sexual assaults of kilted men). Women are every bit as driven by sex as men are, but as a society we don't have standards for dealing with such situations. Will women police their own and set those standards? I'm not sure if men can set them...

Should I really be surprised that this is something that really happens in Scotland? Society across the majority of the world expect men to unrealistically be emotionally detached and iron-willed 100% of the time. It's transparent people don't take sexual abuse on men seriously. I don't think women care about how we really feel; we're just supposed to "take it like men". Many men will sure as hell NOT lift a finger to curbstomb this abject apathy towards male vulnerability, because I guess we're all too busy sizing each other up. Ridiculous.

All these social norms need to be worked out as men's attire changes, and no one seems to want to talk this through. But it has to happen, and it can't be isolated to sympathetic places like the Cafe. Nor can we let it all happen at hostile places like this mum's net thing...

Where would we go to have this discussion, then? Many don't care that both sexes are screwed over when it comes to social norms and gendered fashion, and a lot people who do care about this, want to keep it this way.

[jamie001]

Mark Bryan is the SH1T! He looks great in his skirts and heels and is clearly going for the feminine look. Kudos to Mark! We should all support him and try to follow his lead regarding skirts and heels!

[Barleymower]

Why not? Why have faith in those who reliably disappoint you? What's the point of hoping for change when the opposition is going to do everything in their power to stop said change from happening? It might be safer just to do nothing

OK let's dip into the prospect of giving up. The optimistic child verses the older more experienced hand. The child wants to try but the old hand says it's pointless. It's been tried and always ends in failure.

My answer: keeping trying, there is nothing beyond giving up, only misery and failure. No point in that. I think I'd rather die trying.

There another aspect on this. You are right there's no point in continuing to ask the same 'Oh please accept me' tact. All the pleading in the world won't get you anywhere. Question is can we make a difference? Yes we can. You need to explore different directions

[TSH]

Why not? Why have faith in those who reliably disappoint you? What's the point of hoping for change when the opposition is going to do everything in their power to stop said change from happening? It might be safer just to do nothing

OK let's dip into the prospect of giving up. The optimistic child verses the older more experienced hand. The child wants to try but the old hand says it's pointless. It's been tried and always ends in failure.

My answer: keeping trying; there is nothing beyond giving up — only misery and failure. No point in that. I think I'd rather die trying.

I'll still prefer nothing than outright rejection. That's much more painful.

There another aspect on this. You are right there's no point in continuing to ask the same 'Oh please accept me' tact. All the pleading in the world won't get you anywhere. Question is can we make a difference? Yes we can. You need to explore different directions

A "difference" will only happen when people become more sympathetic, which I don't think many people are. Some may proclaim themselves to be — they're liars. I suppose there are other avenues to look at, but it'd all be in vain if it fails.

[Uncle Al]

I'm posting this as a member, not as a Moderator:

Mark Bryan is the SH1T! He looks great in his skirts and heels and is clearly going for the feminine look. Kudos to Mark! We should all support him and try to follow his lead regarding skirts and heels!

jamie001 - for the umpteenth time, STOP WITH THE FEMININE CRAP! This is Skirt Cafe' where MEN
want to include a skirted garment into their daily wardrobe. WE ARE NOT TRYING TO LOOK FEMININE
but to be comfortable, and accepted, for our clothing choices.

If you want to be a female impersonator, that's your choice, but, 95%(+/-) of the members of the Cafe'
don't want to do this. With each of your posts, you seem to push this 'agenda' onto the rest of us here.

When will you 'give it a rest'

Note-Mark wears skirts in a very professional way, never impersonating a woman.
That is his style, which he is very good at.

Uncle Al

[crfriend]

To TSH and Barleymower: There's only a tiny difference between dying cold, alone, and dejected to merely dying cold and alone. I'm converging again on the latter, as I'm likely flying a solo flight for the rest of my life. This'll end with "flight into terrain" at some point; whether it's controlled or uncontrolled is open to conjecture. Perhaps another lady will be able to get my attention, perhaps not. Time alone will tell, but given experience I'm very, very far from confident.

To Jamie001: I heartily second Al's comments. Mark may be an interesting chap, but the shoes are anything but professional, unless you're in the "world's oldest profession". They're not known as "F*ck me pumps" by men and women alike without reason. Drop the feminisation BS.