Things that I wear or do that are considered femme by others

[Coder]

I'm tired of this "game", these notions. I'm trying very hard to rewire my brain in how I see and think about things - you'll see me write "masculine" and "feminine" in quotes lately because I'm just tired of expending so much of my energy on what others think - and how I've been brought up. A lot of these notions are rooted in - hate to say it - mild forms of sexism. Perhaps stereotypes is a better word for it. Even I get caught up in wearing boots (or whatever "masculine item") because they make me feel more secure in my presentation. This is all to say - if I - we - want people to expand their choice of wardrobe, we really need to drop or reject a lot of these stereotypical beliefs - to the point of rejecting them outright and not playing into society's expectations.

(anyhow, heh, I know that wasn't what this thread was asking)

[Barleymower]

I'm tired of this "game", these notions. I'm trying very hard to rewire my brain in how I see and think about things - you'll see me write "masculine" and "feminine" in quotes lately because I'm just tired of expending so much of my energy on what others think - and how I've been brought up. A lot of these notions are rooted in - hate to say it - mild forms of sexism. Perhaps stereotypes is a better word for it. Even I get caught up in wearing boots (or whatever "masculine item") because they make me feel more secure in my presentation. This is all to say - if I - we - want people to expand their choice of wardrobe, we really need to drop or reject a lot of these stereotypical beliefs - to the point of rejecting them outright and not playing into society's expectations.

(anyhow, heh, I know that wasn't what this thread was asking)

You are right Coder and it is tiring. You actions now may be rooted in something else: the need to escape your predicament. Maybe you wear the boots to rest awhile before going back and battling on. If that makes sense? We can't fight everyone and we have to take time to rest even if it does mean that occasionally we are not true to ourselves.
I wish I had your stoicism to go out there everyday like you do. There are some situations I can't face and some situations that I have conquered only to retreat again. If only there were more of us.

[Ray]

I don’t see the clothes I wear as feminine. I see them as items of clothing. Oh, I know that they are overwhelmingly worn by women, but so are jeans. I don’t feel I’m the least bit feminine when I wear the clothes. I do feel that I’m just being me.

[Modoc]

I am sure I've said this before but here goes anyway.
Feminine and masculine are subjective plain and simple. There are some ideas that are pretty much agreed on by the masses but that still doesn't make them hard and fast by any means. Therefore anything you do can be deemed either by anyone at any given time.
I have to admit that I often find myself sliding into the trap of wondering how my dress or actions my be percieved by others then I remember that as long as it's not hurting anybody or breaking any laws, then so what.

[rode_kater]

Easily the most "femme" piece of clothing I wear are one-piece swimsuits. I often swim in open water and they have IMO a number of advantages: they provide some warmth, they keep all the bits on board and they're an extra layer against the weeds/water plants. There are various suits made for men but they are much more bulky in general, and all of the "you can have any colour you like as long as it's black" variety. One-piece swimsuits on the other hand come in a huge range of colours and patterns.

That said, it's difficult to find comfortable ones, they sometimes need adjusting. One of my long-term goals is to design/make something that fits me in a style I want. Unfortunately, patterns in this area are all old with old materials, nothing recent. So it's a challenge.

I also have a cross-body bag for my key/wallet/phone/etc during the summer months (in winter I have a coat). Long hair requires hair elastics on occasion, though that can hardly be considered femme anymore.

[denimini]

I'm tired of this "game", these notions. I'm trying very hard to rewire my brain in how I see and think about things - you'll see me write "masculine" and "feminine" in quotes lately because I'm just tired of expending so much of my energy on what others think - and how I've been brought up.

I agree, but it is just a bit of fun to indulge in if one wishes. Like "Real men don't eat quiche".

[JohnH]

With my feminine appearance and attire I NEVER try to.sound like a woman when I talk. My speaking voice is about 1 1/2 octaves below that of a young woman as I'm a bass. Nobody seems to pay attention to the pitch of my voice.

John

[Modoc]

Mens wearing earrings is a common sight. I remember when it was cinsidered a feminine thing.

[r.m.anderson]

Back in the late 70's when I had my first piercing(s) done the rule of thumb was left side straight - right side gay ?
Had both done at the same setting - confused ? what to make of this bi-piercing ?
Paying for one or both same price.
Nearly got me fired from my job - but then it was pointed out how about we take this to court - equal rights ?

In 95 had a second set - studs over hoops.
Then I started to wear me kilts and removed the earrings - a proper kilt wearer doesn't need earrings.

Now only when I wear making a full skirted fashion statement do I consider the earrings accessories.

[GerdG]

I guess that in this connection Im really a bore. Most of my skirts are kilts, and my skirts, targeted at women, are hardly what to be called femme. They are just short denim skirts in various colors, and the like.
I have a few short boots from the women's section with max one inch block heels, and some tights, most of them dark. When in a skirt, I might wear a necklace or a choker and an armring, but many other men wearing jewelry, it is probably not considered that femme neither. All my tops are for men. And I have a manly haircut. I do find panties very comfortable, and sometimes I will wear them, but they are only for my wife to see.

I have tried on dresses, but I think they look wrong on me, and especially, they don't fit, because designed for the female anatomi, making the upper part too short for a man to wear.

[timemeddler]

Easily the most "femme" piece of clothing I wear are one-piece swimsuits. I often swim in open water and they have IMO a number of advantages: they provide some warmth, they keep all the bits on board and they're an extra layer against the weeds/water plants. There are various suits made for men but they are much more bulky in general, and all of the "you can have any colour you like as long as it's black" variety. One-piece swimsuits on the other hand come in a huge range of colours and patterns.

That said, it's difficult to find comfortable ones, they sometimes need adjusting. One of my long-term goals is to design/make something that fits me in a style I want. Unfortunately, patterns in this area are all old with old materials, nothing recent. So it's a challenge.

I also have a cross-body bag for my key/wallet/phone/etc during the summer months (in winter I have a coat). Long hair requires hair elastics on occasion, though that can hardly be considered femme anymore.

That's what I ended up doing, making my one-piece swimsuit. Another advantage for me is one piece suits don't slip off like in that episode of of Mr Bean.

[shadowfax]

Back in the late 70's when I had my first piercing(s) done the rule of thumb was left side straight - right side gay ?
Had both done at the same setting - confused ? what to make of this bi-piercing ?
Paying for one or both same price.
Nearly got me fired from my job - but then it was pointed out how about we take this to court - equal rights ?

In 95 had a second set - studs over hoops.
Then I started to wear me kilts and removed the earrings - a proper kilt wearer doesn't need earrings.

Now only when I wear making a full skirted fashion statement do I consider the earrings accessories.

A work colleague of mine was openly gay, there were no obvious signs in the way that he behaved, looked or spoke but he wore a hoop earring in his right ear lobe.
The hoop had a small, pink enamel triangle attached.
Here's an article about the origins of the pink triangle.
To quote that article, "the Pink Triangle, the identification badge assigned by the SS to homosexuals in the concentration camps.", in WWII.

I should say that my colleague's left ear was lacking any piercings and this was in the early years of this century.

[KiltedBigWave]

For me the things that I wear or do that are considered feminine by others:
Mani Pedi with toenail polish
Wear skirts and kilts
Wear tights and leggings
Manscape
Wear various women’s tops and shorts
Chunky high heels up to 3", mary janes and ankle boots

[rode_kater]

That's what I ended up doing, making my one-piece swimsuit. Another advantage for me is one piece suits don't slip off like in that episode of of Mr Bean.

I'm curious, did you follow a pattern, or did you self-draft it? I've drafted a pattern which worked reasonably well but the fabrics are tricky and I ran out of time.

[phathack]

That's what I ended up doing, making my one-piece swimsuit. Another advantage for me is one piece suits don't slip off like in that episode of of Mr Bean.

Not being sufficiently skilled at sewing, I have found a couple of brands of Swimwear that work for me.
One-piece, Tankkinis and Rash Guards from

• www.tomboyx.com
• www.meetcurve.com
• www.skinzwear.com
  Skinz Wear does custom sewing so I can modify one of their existing designs to better fit me, longer girth to make up for the fact I'm a tall guy.