skirtcafe.org

Hello all,

Forgive me if this subject is discussed in a different thread, I can find nothing recent pertaining to this subject.

It seems like nobody here enjoys their skirts just because they find them pretty?

I know how this sounds. It seems there's still a pervasive assumption that cis hetero men don't/shouldn't like or appreciate pretty, even though we spend a large portion of our lives irresistibly drawn to it when evidenced by a third party.

I see lots of talk of "masculine" vs "feminine" skirts here, with the latter mostly given a wide berth in favour of the former, which I find a little ironic. If a man is going to choose to adorn himself in garments typically associated with the opposite gender in the eyes of society, does it really matter how far along the scale those garments may appear? (I'm aware that venturing out in public dressed in very feminine-appearing clothing will only invite mockery, or worse. That's not what I'm talking about or suggesting here.)

I adore my beautiful outfits. But to be clear, I wear them to admire them, not because I'm under any illusions that I look beautiful in them, myself, or even want to. When I look in the mirror wearing my skirts, it's not me that I'm looking at.

This is a bit of a ramble, sorry. I'm not really sure what replies I expect, but does anyone here at least relate to where I'm coming from?

Thoughts?

Bell

BouffantBelle wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 7:42 am
I adore my beautiful outfits. But to be clear, I wear them to admire them, not because I'm under any illusions that I look beautiful in them, myself, or even want to. When I look in the mirror wearing my skirts, it's not me that I'm looking at.

If it’s not you who’s looking back at you in the mirror, who is it? You say you don’t want to look beautiful in your beautiful outfits but why not? I think I focus on more masculine skirts cause that’s the look that fits with my mind’s eye of how I have looked for years. To wear a feminine skirt clashes with what Ive always considered to be “me.”

I’ve always admired women but now also admire their skirts/dresses. This has come as a surprise to me cause I’ve never been one to care about fashion. Probably because men’s fashion is adjectively boring. But I admire a certain skirt/dress look that’s not frilly and doesn’t have bows or other feminine accoutrements. I’m not a fan of this look on myself or women. Others obviously love it and that’s great! But it’s just not my style.

But if it is your style, I’d recommend owning it. If that’s you, be you. You’ll look back and regret not doing/wearing something way more than if you do wear something. I hear the happiest people in the world are those who look in the mirror and smile contently.

ScotL wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 9:42 am If it’s not you who’s looking back at you in the mirror, who is it?

Well, of course it's me looking back, but it's not myself I admire in the mirror. It's the outfit. I may just as well be the living mannequin.

The skirt styles I really like just don't look good on men imho. the fabrics and silhouettes are very soft, our features are not. Therefore these styles do nothing to compliment us. This is of course, just one person's subjective opinion.

However, that doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't enjoy the sensations of wearing them. Outside of period dramas and the like, skirts are very unlikely to be consistently seen anywhere in the west again. I'm not ready to give them up, so I'll wear my own. thanks for the reply.

BouffantBelle wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 7:42 am It seems like nobody here enjoys their skirts just because they find them pretty?

Well yes, some of them. There are some very beautiful dresses I'd like to wear, if I could pull them off. But it's not something I look for on a day to day basis.

Look at it this way: women wear glamourous skirts, but not on a day to day basis. Usually only for special occasions. Most people here are looking at skirts from the point of view of something to wear daily, and then you're not really looking for glamourous things.

Aside from the issue that most people are not trying to stand out, and so tend to the less visually stunning styles. There's a couple of parallel issues: men wearing skirts (which is what this forum is about), men wearing bolder colours and patterns (which sometimes comes up here and is actually fairly widely accepted already) and men wearing things like crepe, satin, lace, semi-transparent, frills, ruffles, etc (which is just a whole other ballpark).

The last thing is something that's still a bridge too far for many here, though that may be age related. I'm hoping the younger generation will be more out there on this issue.

BouffantBelle wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 10:13 am Outside of period dramas and the like, skirts are very unlikely to be consistently seen anywhere in the west again. I'm not ready to give them up, so I'll wear my own. thanks for the reply.

I don’t know where you live but I just went to national conference, a meeting and live in South Florida and skirts are remarkably popular. In the US that is. Can’t speak for other than the places I’ve been. Makes me pretty jealous as I walk around in pants that fry the eggs.

rode_kater wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 10:36 am I'm hoping the younger generation will be more out there on this issue.

I work with the younger generation daily. The future is bright. And not just brightly colored.

rode_kater wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 10:36 am
and men wearing things like crepe, satin, lace, semi-transparent, frills, ruffles, etc (which is just a whole other ballpark).

Ouch. You wouldn't happen to have directions to that ballpark, would you?

Thanks, that's very informative. It's hard to really get a sense of what the forum is about, just by reading through the rules of etiquette. Cross-dressing forums aren't the place for me, I have no interest in trying to be a woman, but plenty of interest in the more extravagant styles. It kinda puts me in a weird spot.

Bell

ScotL wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 10:47 am
I don’t know where you live but I just went to national conference, a meeting and live in South Florida and skirts are remarkably popular. In the US that is. Can’t speak for other than the places I’ve been. Makes me pretty jealous as I walk around in pants that fry the eggs.

Why be jealous? Just wear skirts like other people wear.

BouffantBelle wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 10:59 am Thanks, that's very informative. It's hard to really get a sense of what the forum is about, just by reading through the rules of etiquette. Cross-dressing forums aren't the place for me, I have no interest in trying to be a woman, but plenty of interest in the more extravagant styles. It kinda puts me in a weird spot.

For me, this forum is about normalizing skirts, and skirt-like garments for men (with greater fashion freedom for men). That means finding/developing styles that look “natural” - the more extravagant/outlandish/bold styles fly in the face of that approach. And, as rode_kater wrote, people don’t wear glamorous or beautiful clothes every day - well… most people don’t. For the day to day grind, many of us are just looking for a practical way to wear skirts and not having grown up wearing them, lots of things are new to us.

To some extent I do sympathize with the desire just to have garments in order to appreciate them. I can appreciate some dresses because my wife wears them, but her taste is not really the same as mine, and some dresses that I like just wouldn't suit her. When I was first considering enlarging my style range, I was very tempted by a long green dress I saw on a site for cosplay and re-enactors, and if I lived alone, I would probably be more inclined to engage in what one might call clandestine cross-dressing (that's without the "fempersonation" element). If I were ever invited to a red carpet event (ha!), I would just love to wear something over the top (big skirt, full length, off the shoulder...). But for the most part, my move into skirts has followed my move (some decades ago) into kilts. As a part of trying to make skirts look and feel acceptable, I tend to wear clothes around the house that I would consider wearing outside. I do not want to have to rush to change if the postman knocks, or if the rest of the family comes home early.

Myopic Bookworm wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 1:07 pm When I was first considering enlarging my style range, I was very tempted by a long green dress I saw on a site for cosplay and re-enactors, and if I lived alone, I would probably be more inclined to engage in what one might call clandestine cross-dressing (that's without the "fempersonation" element).

Yes! Clandestine cross-dressing. I don't really see it that way as I have no desire to appear or feel female, but I guess you could say that's what I'm doing. I'm not particularly bothered by labels or splitting hairs.

I'm just a regular dude that adores certain types of skirts. You can't really throw these ones on with a ratty old Converse tee or something, that just looks like trash, so that's where the accessorising, and yes, the cross dressing begins to creep in.

I have the week off from work, so today my double circle sunray pleated skirt had the cinderella treatment. Yeah, some of you guys are gonna cringe, but don't tell me you're not at least curious.

Skirts with presence look and feel amazing. If you've ever wondered about them, I say give it a whirl (or twirl). Probably best they stay behind closed doors, though

Jim wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 10:59 am

ScotL wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 10:47 am
I don’t know where you live but I just went to national conference, a meeting and live in South Florida and skirts are remarkably popular. In the US that is. Can’t speak for other than the places I’ve been. Makes me pretty jealous as I walk around in pants that fry the eggs.

Why be jealous? Just wear skirts like other people wear.

One day…

BouffantBelle wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 4:14 pm

Myopic Bookworm wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 1:07 pm When I was first considering enlarging my style range, I was very tempted by a long green dress I saw on a site for cosplay and re-enactors, and if I lived alone, I would probably be more inclined to engage in what one might call clandestine cross-dressing (that's without the "fempersonation" element).

Yes! Clandestine cross-dressing. I don't really see it that way as I have no desire to appear or feel female, but I guess you could say that's what I'm doing. I'm not particularly bothered by labels or splitting hairs.

I'm just a regular dude that adores certain types of skirts. You can't really throw these ones on with a ratty old Converse tee or something, that just looks like trash, so that's where the accessorising, and yes, the cross dressing begins to creep in.

I have the week off from work, so today my double circle sunray pleated skirt had the cinderella treatment. Yeah, some of you guys are gonna cringe, but don't tell me you're not at least curious.

Skirts with presence look and feel amazing. If you've ever wondered about them, I say give it a whirl (or twirl). Probably best they stay behind closed doors, though

_20230605_163230_copy_1289x2580_copy_644x1290.jpg

Not for nothing, but I’d be paranoid as hell wearing a skirt THAT long on an escalator!

JeffB1959 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 5:07 pm Not for nothing, but I’d be paranoid as hell wearing a skirt THAT long on an escalator!

Decadent and stupidly impractical for sure. They're a sheer indulgence.

I can only think it's no surprise that back in the day every surface was coated with a half inch of lacquer. My skirts wouldn't last 5 minutes out there. And they weren't cheap!

BouffantBelle wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 5:16 pm Decadent and stupidly impractical for sure. They're a sheer indulgence.

I have skirts that long and wear them commonly in public and don't have a hard time with them. One just needs to keep his wits about him.

They do trail down stairs unless gathered, leading to the occasional funny crack, e.g. the time when a co-worker almost stepped on one of 'em and our boss commented, "No, no. Don't do that. Only a fool steps on Vader's cloak!"

Recall that these styles were quite popularly worn many, many years ago. We've dumbed everything down in the interim.

The key is to own the look and make it your own so you're comfortable with it -- comfortable enough to venture out into public wearing it.