rode_kater wrote: ↑Wed Feb 09, 2022 8:11 am I'm kinda shocked. In the crossdressing community, Don't Ask Don't Tell arrangements are reasonably common (16.8%) (that link is from the last annual Reddit crossdressing survey). But I've never heard of partners cutting up clothes before.
I put that down to Reddit skewing young and so the domestic arrangements are probably more flexible. But if my partner started cutting up my clothes I'd be very, very deeply hurt.
That's the thing I don't agree with the terminology used in this survey. I don't consider wearing just a skirt my gender identity or cross dressing.
Wearing a skirt doesn't make one female.
I'm not identifying as such.
Women in trousers all identity as male??
I just want to be a male in a skirt.
Why is that so hard for people to grasp?
Several members made comments on my wife cutting up an item of clothing. I had thought about destroying something of hers, but I think that could easily escalate into a eye for an eye situation that would probably put even my " mom" jeans at risk for destruction or disposal. It's not worth losing more clothes, in a battle that would never end and would pointlessly destroy clothes. Pick your battles carefully. What good is full access to skirt wearing but in turn I lose my wife's love and affection? Yes it sucks that I can't skirt freely, but at the same time marriage is about giving of one's self. While I'm not giving up skirts totally, I give them up when she is around. It's not my perfect idea scenario. And me having skirts is not on her ideal scenario. But it works.
Speaking about ugly relationships and fighting.
There is a movie from the very late 80s called War of the Roses. It's about a couple getting a divorce, it doesn't end well for them. There are clips on YouTube.
Being more of a pacifist
I just quietly remember what she did. And like mentioned in above post I keep my favorite skirts well hidden. And keep a few sacrificial skirts out where she can see and find them, so I'm not hiding anything.
If they ever disappear or get destroyed, I will know I must remain dilagent at keeping my good ones stashed.