skirtcafe.org

Hello my name is Shayne, I live in Illinois. I am wanting to make the switch to wearing skirts and dresses as opposed to my boring male pants. My wife was raised in a very strict Pentecostal (women can only wear skirts or they are going to Hell) family, she now wears pants daily, but I don't think she will be very open to me wearing skirts. Any suggestions? Also, I'm very tall around 6'7" and fairly thin so what styles would look best for me?

ShayneM.88 wrote:My wife was raised in a very strict Pentecostal (women can only wear skirts or they are going to Hell) family, she now wears pants daily, but I don't think she will be very open to me wearing skirts. Any suggestions?

First and foremost, Shayne, welcome aboard. Next off, humour might work here, although it might be a long-shot. "Well, if you feel that way about it, I'm sure we'll meet again. I'll wait for you if you wait for me." (Or maybe not; that might hit a little too close to home.)

Also, I'm very tall around 6'7" and fairly thin so what styles would look best for me?

You've got three inches on me, and I'm definitely a lanky type, and I find for the most part that long skirts look more compelling than short ones (although I repeatedly try banging my head against that wall). Long skirts can make one either look columnar, in which case they seem to exaggerate height, or can ground one rather solidly if they have a good flare to them (beware that a good flare on somebody of your height will mean that you'll take up substantial floor-space on the ground).

In any event, the ultimate choice is yours, and if all the stars align your wife may just possibly appreciate the change from the norm. One never knows.

(If skirt-wearing guys are all destined for Hell then I'll see you there. Along with altogether too many trouser-wearing women. And types who don't happen to believe the say that any of the other ones believe. Hell must be a busy place.)

Welcome aboard, Shane!

ShayneM.88 wrote:Hello my name is Shayne, I live in Illinois. I am wanting to make the switch to wearing skirts and dresses as opposed to my boring male pants. My wife was raised in a very strict Pentecostal (women can only wear skirts or they are going to Hell) family, she now wears pants daily, but I don't think she will be very open to me wearing skirts. Any suggestions?

Hi, Shayne, and welcome to the board.

Wifely understanding and/or permission can be a tricky business, and you're obviously in a far better position than I in judging what your wife's reaction might be. But at some point, you're going to have to blurt something out and take it stepwise from there.

In my case, I waited until my wife and I were driving somewhere and then told her I'd ordered a kilt to wear to a tattoo convention. Being in the car helped because I was obviously in control and needed to stay that way. Historically, this has always helped keep my wife from overreacting to things. And telling her I'd ordered the kilt made the "problem" a future problem rather than an immediate one.

Once I'd received the kit and worn it to the tattoo convention, I gradually started wearing it more and more and she slowly got acclimated. After two years her general attitude is still grudging tolerance and she won't appear in public with me wearing a skirt or kilt. But that still leaves me free to go skirted 95-99% of the time and I keep gently working on the rest.

I'm sure your story will be quite different but start easy, proceed gradually and cautiously, and don't give up.

ShayneM.88 wrote:Also, I'm very tall around 6'7" and fairly thin so what styles would look best for me?

What's best for you is whatever you're most comfortable and confident in. I favor knee-length skirts and utility kilts with a tucked-in men's shirt and i've found very little, if any, negative public reaction from that. But whatever you wear has to be something you can, "carry off," something you can be confident in. Never let 'em see you shirk or wince.

What about you? How do you feel about wearing a skirt or kilt in public? Almost certainly it's a thousand times bigger deal for you than for anyone you encounter but that first time out can still be pretty nervy.

Skirts from thift shops are a good way to get started. At about $5 each, you can try quite a few without spending much money. You might want to keep these experiments secret from your wife for a little while but In this, as everything, it's best not to keep secrets between married people for long.

Your wife's ultra-conservative religious background might be a problem; then again, the fact that she's given herself some fashion freedom might indicate some relaxation from those strict beliefs. And no one in the Bible ever wore pants.

You might want to keep these experiments secret from your wife for a little while

Can't agree there. Out in the open from the start is the only way. Show that you are unashamed, proud to be inventive and ready to face the world. Don't cower as the hell-fire preachers would like us to.

Surely "What do you think of this?" is better than "I've been wearing skirts secretly, because I am afraid of what people might think".

Martin

Couya wrote:...Surely "What do you think of this?" is better than "I've been wearing skirts secretly, because I am afraid of what people might think".

Agreed, you shouldn't ever tell your wife (or anyone) that you're afraid to appear in public (or even around the house) because of what she or other people might think. Easy confidence is by far the best aura to project, even if it's a bit of an act.

But if sorting out your feelings and developing that confidence requires trying on and moving about in a few thrift-store skirts alone, I don't see any harm that. If you're not comfortable with your own appearance, at least to some degree, you can't expect others to be comfortable with it either.

Again I agree. I have never kept my skirt wearing secret and what was said about not cowering and having confidence in how you want to appear is crucial. I think a lot of problems with OH's is caused by misconceptions at the outset as these are very hard to undo. For instance, I thought that to wear a skirt you had to go the full monty and proceeded down that route. In the meantime I found this site and discovered otherwise. So now MOH has it fixed in her head that wearing a skirt means that you are dressed like a woman and moving Everest a teaspoon at a time would be easier than changing her opinion.

ShayneM.88 wrote:My wife was raised in a very strict Pentecostal (women can only wear skirts or they are going to Hell) family,

I've heard that it's rather hot in hell ... a great excuse to wear skirts / dresses

see you there

Hello Shane and a very warm welcome to the Cafe'!
May I suggest that starting with a kilt would be a good idea. It already has the reputation of being a mans' garment. Take her to a scottish festival or Highland Games event and give her a chance to see for herself the number of men wearing kilts both modren ones like the "Utilikilt" and the traditional tartan. By the way don't spring the fact on her that the kilt is a skirt too for a while just let her get used to the idea of men wearing them the skirt thing will dawn on her soon enough.
By the way you don't have to break the bank to get into a kilt either places like www.sport kilt.com and "www.stillwater kilts.com have reasonable prices. For a contemporary kilt may I suggest www.UTkilt.com I'm rather fond of the model with the comfort waist which has slash pockets, back pockets, two cargo pockets , and a long diagonal pocket underneath the front apron. The kilt uses snaps for closure and the pleats run from right to left ending in a box pleat at the center.

Finally let me briefly state that there are no prohibitions in scripture to men wearing skirted garments. Deut. 22:5 prohibits men and women from masquerading as the opposite sex in order to decieve and there-by participating in activities forbidden to them , i.e. women going to war and men sneaking into the womens area to be near a sweetheart, or to avoid going to war. It is not the clothes but the intent of the person involved. Lastly no one wore trousers then as it has been pointed out elsewhere. Trousers only became fashionable about the time of the French Revelution where they began to be worn as a act of protest and seperation fromthe the royalty and rich, a common man symbol. I'll hush up now as there are a good many places here at the Cafe' and excellent sites that trace the evolution of mens trousers and the practicality of skirted garments for men.

Slainte'
Bill & Sir Brinkley the Exubrant my LeaderDog extrodinaire!

Hi & welcome

Hi Shayne

Welcome to the cafe - hope you find some useful information here. I am in the same position as you except in that MOH does NOT wish to entertain a man in a skirt at all though she does accept kilts on special occasions (I am Scottish after all! ) but not so much as general wear.

On the trousers aspect, in response to wsherman, Wiki does confirm that trousers are quite old (from 6th Century BC) and were generally worn by horse-riding tribes including Bactrians, Armenians and Barbarians. Even some trousers were worn in Rome such as the Feminalia (knee-length trousers) or Braccea (loose fitting trousers closed at the ankles) bioth of which were military garments which only later became civilian dress.

Here is a part of the WIKI entry:-

Trousers first enter recorded history in the 6th century BC, with the appearance of horse-riding Iranian peoples in Greek ethnography. At this time, not only the Persians, but also allied Eastern and Central Asian peoples such as the Bactrians, Armenians, Tigraxauda Scythians and Xiongnu Hunnu, are known to have worn them.[8][9] Trousers are believed to have been worn by both sexes among these early users.[10] The oldest preserved pair of trousers are thought to be from the 10th to 13th centuries BC and were found in the Yanghai graveyard in China’s Tarim Basin. It is believed the garments were invented to make horse riding easier.[11]

The ancient Greeks used the term "ἀναξυρίδες" (anaxyrides) for the trousers worn by Eastern nations[12] and "σαράβαρα" (sarabara) for the loose trousers worn by the Scythians.[13] However, they did not wear trousers since they thought them ridiculous,[14][15] using the word "θύλακοι" (thulakoi), pl. of "θύλακος" (thulakos), "sack", as a slang term for the loose trousers of Persians and other orientals.[16]

Republican Rome viewed the draped clothing of Greek and Minoan (Cretan) culture as an emblem of civilization and disdained trousers as the mark of barbarians.[17] As the Empire expanded beyond the Mediterranean basin, however, the greater warmth provided by trousers led to their adoption.[18] Two types of trousers eventually saw widespread use in Rome: the Feminalia, which fit snugly and usually fell to knee or mid-calf length,[19] and the Braccae, a loose-fitting trouser that was closed at the ankles.[20] Both garments were adopted originally from the Celts of Europe, although later familiarity with the Persian Near East and the Teutons increased acceptance. Feminalia and Braccae both began use as military garments, spreading to civilian dress later, and were eventually made in a variety of materials including leather, wool, cotton and silk.

"Feminalia" -- most appropriate !
The romans obviously thought trousers better suited to women -- and I quite agree.

Good Day All!

Skirtingtoday thankyou for providing the trouser history information. It quite filled in the background for what I wrote. My intention was only to give the beginning of the general popularity wearing the the garment in modren times. Beau Brummel popularised trousers in England and it spread eventually to the U.S and Canada in time. I am no fashion historian but have a bit of trivia about it floating around in my skull which finds it way out now and again. Thanks again for fleshing out my breif and inadequate comments in my previous post.

I heard on a podcast recently that the skirt is the second oldest garment with the loincloth being the oldest. I'm not sure I agree as it seems that wrapping a length of cured skin about one is much simpler. But what do I know?

As always...

Slainte'
Bill & Sir Brinkley the Exubrant!

Welcome, Shayne. The length of your skirt is whatever suits your taste. If you like the looks of your legs, short skirts look good on tall and thin figures. You may find that skirts that are "floorsweepers" on normal height women may be mid-calf on you. I wear both short and long skirts, and my preferences are by the individual garment, not the length.

Hello Shayne and welcome.

As has already been said, you must do what is right for you, comfortable with and confident. You alone know your wife better than anyone but the best thing is to talk. Even staying as the status quo will be hard for you to suppress your feelings. I told my wife within months of forming a relationship. We did nothing due to our location and society as even in the 90's many women wore skirts a good 75% of the time, unlike since the Naughties. Later we kept it at home but it is difficult for any one to suppress feelings and emotions without having an effect on any partnership especially yourself. If it is a problem for her then there are only two choices. If she is not happy the easiest option is to back off and raise the subject now and then in relevant situations. At least if you have talked to her and go no further at that stage, you as an individual will feel better.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander I believe in but unfortunately many in society do not see it like that especially when it comes to men.

You never know, she may be quite receptive to it. Raised in very strict Pentecostal but now in trousers daily, she may be happy for you in skirts at least you'll go to Hell together!

I'm 6'6'', and thin. I prefer long skirts but I also stand by each to their own. You wear whatever is comfortable for you.

My wife is very supportive as too others on this forum. Raising the issue sensitively bringing in what you know about others from around the world I'm sure would help, even if not initially, once the seeds are sown, plants 99% of time grow.

I do have a web site on men in skirts, I wrote it in an effort to help other men who wish to wear skirts to do so and I have received communication from some that it has. http://www.theskirtedman.eu

Personally, do not show any fear on the subject at any time and with anyone. If you have confidence, so too will others. If you show doubt so too will they. Also, it is always best going public with support be it your wife or a friend. It gives your confidence support.


All the best

Jeremy Hutchinson.