Happy DEC-10 everybody!

[crfriend]

Today is the highest holiday in computing, simply by virtue of the date corresponding to one of the most magical system-classes ever designed by the hand of man.

So, to fellow computer types, blessings be to all of you! 36 bits forever!

[kingfish]

As a boy who learned his addition tables with the aid of a Honeywell level 6 machine (hardcopy terminal/dialup connection to dad's work), and wrote his first program on a Multics machine....

Happy DEC-10.

[skirted_in_SF]

wrote his first program on a Multics machine....

I have in the back of my mind that Multics was an inspiration for PrimeOS, the OS for the first computer I was hands on with. A Prime 300 (if I remember the early 80s correctly).

[arkie]

Why did the Macro-11 programmer get Christmas and Halloween confused? Because Dec 25 = Oct 31.

[Kirbstone]

...and Why did the hen cross the road?.....Because she wanted to get away from the Oboe recital!

Tom.

[Kilted Musician]

...and Why did the hen cross the road?.....Because she wanted to get away from the Oboe recital!

Tom.

Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!

--Rick

[Sinned]

Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

*Jingle Bells*
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

*Little Donkey*
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr.Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.

*While Shepherds Watched*
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via CCTV cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his/her glory all around she/he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.

*Rudolph the red nosed reindeer*
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
You would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R. Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.

*The Rocking Song*
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative. Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.

*We Three Kings*
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC route finder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.

[Kilted Musician]

Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

Darn... there goes the neighborhood!

Have a great Christmas and New Years!

--Rick