How are your perversions?

[skirtingtoday]

The question in the heading was asked by my son to my wife during a Skype call they have every so often. She relayed this titbit to me treating it as a "joke" (and a, "You know what he's like" shrug) which they both "had a chuckle" at. This was after chatting over how he was doing at University, playing in the orchestras there and life in general, and the Universe in detail (he is doing a Ph.D in particle physics).

This "joke" gave me bit of a jolt. Does he think I am a pervert or worse for wearing a skirt? And how dismayed and yes, even slightly angry, in that he seems to think that. I had thought before this that he wasn't too dismayed at skirt-wearing by men even if he didn't endorse the idea himself. I certainly don't feel "perverted" in any way and am comfortable in myself about wearing skirts but it came as a shock so now I am now sure how to react with him in the future.

So this brings up two questions:-

Am I being over-serious or oversensitive?
And has anyone else had this said about or to them and what was your reaction?

[crfriend]

From my perspective, I think you may be worrying a bit too much. He's certainly entitled to his opinions (although if he's bright enough to pursue a phD in particle physics he ought to be bright enough to decouple clothing from "perversion"), and if his disagree with yours that's fine, too, so long as everybody remains civil.

If you're really bothered by it, by all means bring it up with him; however, recall that he is entitled to his opinions even if they may be rubbish to your thought processes. You're also dead within your rights to tell him that as both of you are adults.

[Sinned]

skrtngtdy,

Not knowing the people involved it's difficult to comment but sometimes a "joke" is not taken as one and can offend and hurt. I don't think that you are being over-sensitive but you may just like to jokingly rib your son about it next time you see him. Failing that be honest with him and just explain that wearing a skirt can in no way be compared to really serious perversions and to refer to such is hurtful and insulting. Only you know which approach will work. Good luck.

In a similar vein MOH said to me the other day "The kids have said that they would put their children in care rather than have me look after them with my skirt-wearing." This was a comment made out of the blue with no preamble. Now, this really hurt me at the time but my gast was too flabbered to say anything at the time. I'm going to ask the kids if it's true at a suitable time when the question won't seem too heavy but if it is true then they may look at it in the same way - as a perversion, even though to my face they have said that they aren't bothered but have advised me not to wear a skirt outside the house. It seems that MOH's attitude has turned from mild acceptance to open hostility recently with snide comments every now and then. Although since I have packed my skirts away temporarily she has not said a word about them. She also hasn't commented about their disappearance either so whether she thinks that I have got over my "perversion" or what I don't know. It's not something that one really brings up in the conversation, "Oh Darling, do you really think that I have got over my skirt-wearing now?" I think not.

[Ralph]

My son is uncomfortable on the topic. When I first told him about my preference for clothes that didn't necessarily come from the men's side of the store, he asked me how that fits with my conservative religious views (which I've actually written extensively about on my blog); for a while he would bring it up mostly as a joke -- send me odd news items he ran across describing men caught out in skirts and dresses -- but he hasn't said a word for years and he never responds in email when I mention something about it.

My daughter is a bit more open. During her time in college she hung out in a study room that happened to be next door to "the rainbow room", a haven for the GLBT crowd, so she ended up getting to know various flavors of G, L, T, and B which makes it easier for her to understand why if she comes home unexpectedly she is likely to find dad in a satin nightgown or long dress, lounging on the sofa watching TV (get it? TV? Hah, I crack myself up sometimes...) She also shares a laugh with me when I "accidentally" reveal that I wear skirts, by phrasing it so it is obviously a joke to the people around us.

My wife absolutely never talks about it, and either ignores the comments or changes the subject on the rare occasion I bring it up. Don't get me wrong, she has been wonderfully supportive for 25 years and has never once complained or criticized, but as she put it once when I forced the subject, "it's not the thing I like best about you". To her, it's just an annoying habit she loves me too much to worry about, just as she expect me to ignore her less-than-glamorous quirks. Today I was telling her about the show "SheZow", a kids cartoon in which a young boy becomes a superhero through the power of a magic ring -- but the superhero is a girl, so he ends up being a guy wearing a pink minidress when he fights crime. She just stared blankly at me while I described it, and then talked about some goofy thing our cat was doing.

*sigh* Oh well, at least she didn't pack up and leave when I told her before we got married.

[Jack Williams]

That sounds like a fun cartoon!

[BobM]

It is a strange mental alignment that expects complete personal freedom for one's self, but refuses to grant the same freedom to others especially when the root issue is discrimination based on gender. It is hypocritical to say the least.

[dillon]

My wife and kids tolerate my skirts, but are not especially happy about it. It seems fine for my daughter to have gay acquaintances but not for dad to be public in skirt and tights. At least I seem to be equally embarrassing to my son whatever I am wearing. My wife is tolerant as long as it is an anonymous situation, and not with friends or family. Oh well. It isn't easy, so I just more or less go my own way.

[Caultron]

My advice with family is, as usual, tontake what you can get today but occasionally (and gently) test the waters.

[Chris Webb]

From the closed minded perspective of the vast majority of society we ARE perverted. We really need to take a lesson from the LGBT community: embrace your 'perversion', as others might call it, it is who and what you really are. How many in the LGBT community have been set free, so to speak, by 'coming out' with out apology or explanation ... good Lord, most of us are just wearing skirts!

The fact that others may see us as perverted doesn't mean we have to see ourselves that way ... that's a choice WE make. Stop choosing to see yourself as perverted, fellow skirtmen, and instead embrace who and what you really are and come out of the damned closet. Honestly, the folks around you who subtly or even overtly think you're a pervert are getting that vibe from you ... stop thinking your a pervert, dammit.

I know it's not easy, I've been through it myself. When I 'came out' as a skirtman some members of my family and more than a few friends were disgusted with me ... I nearly came to blows with my Step-Father over my 'skirts'. But I had decided to be who and what I really am without apology ... I didn't wait for my family and friends to 'accept me', I made them accept me by not backing down and by being consistent. I put away pants and said, "This is who I am, get over it."

Even if some of these folks around you never fully accept your skirting ways, they will respect them ... because they will respect you for standing up for yourself. As time goes by you will hear less criticism and more praise. Folks will stop saying, "Look at the pervert in the skirt," and start saying, "God, I wish I had that kind of confidence in myself."

Be encouraged.

Chris

[skirtyscot]

Where is the "like" button?

[wsherman]

Hello Ladies & Gents!

After considering the topic line I believe that the following could be said.

1. Men historicly wore some type of M.U.G. or a "skirted garment .
2. Trousers are an invention to basicly an invention to prevent chafing during horseback riding by those who by rank could afford to own such animals .
3. M.U.G.'s or skirted garments are generally considered healtheeir than trousers for the male anatomy than trousers.

I consider myself a revert ie someone who has returned to an earlier state rather than one who has twisted the natural state. Indeed if you wanted to one could say that trousers are a "perversion" . (evil Grin)

Good Healt all!

[Grok]

My perversions are doing just fine, thank you. How are your perversions doing?

[Kilted Musician]

2. Trousers are an invention to basicly an invention to prevent chafing during horseback riding by those who by rank could afford to own such animals.

I can't afford a horse... bring on the skirts!!

--Rick

[Stuart]

When I initially read your account, I assumed that your son chose the word 'perversions' as a joke. Regardless, if you found it hurtful, then discreetly informing your son of such is appropriate. If your son says it was intended only as a joke, I hope you can see it that way; if it was something more serious, then hopefully you can have a frank discussion about it.

Seriously, we're breaking a societal tradition here; there's no biological or "natural" reason why women are allowed to wear skirts and we aren't. Women fought and won the right to wear pants about 100 years ago; we're just trying to catch up. In the near term, we (and our families) are going to suffer occasional hurtful remarks. I'm very sorry you were hurt; if it means anything, nobody here thinks you're "perverted".

I hope you have a meaningful and productive conversation with your son (and I hope you inform us of the outcome).

Best of luck,

stuart

[Jack Williams]

Heck. What are MY perversions?
How about surfing in my dresses? This is big fun indeed.
What about MUD? Great fun too.
See if I can find a shot or two.