skirtcafe.org

Hello everyone,

I'm currently in San Francisco with three days left of a ten day trip. Here from Nov 7, 8, and 9, 2011.

SF is a lovely city, and a perfect place to wear my freestyle outfits. I've worn my outfits around the town. A woman I encountered described my outfit as "button down." Which I guess best describe my conservative "professional" look.

I know about this board, so I joined because I was wondering if there are any freestylers in or around SF. If so,please contact me and perhaps we might meet.

Hope to hear from you.

Antonetti

Yes, there are some of us in SF. Sadly, (or maybe I should say luckily in this economy) I have to work the days you have remaining here. Don't think management could deal with getting more freestyle than I already am at work.
I hope you got out and about early last week when the weather was actually nice.

Hi skirted_in_sf,

Thanks for replying.

I'm glad to know there are other freestylers in SF. You said you can't meet because you have to work. (I'm also glad for you that you have a job.) I imagine you don't work all day. Aren't your evenings free? I'm not trying to impose, but would you be able to meet for a drink after work? Are you in touch with the other SF freestylers? If so, maybe we could meet for a freestyler's "convention" or "pow wow."

I'm thrilled by the idea that you wear freestyle at work. What do you typically wear? What did you wear on Monday, for example?

You might be glad to know that I did get out and about last week during the last week's lovely weather. How could I resist? I also got out and about during the less warmer and sunnier days. Last Thursday, for example, when it was chilly, overcast and rainy, I walked halfway across the Golden Gate Bridge while wearing freestyle. What a gas that was! Unfortunately, when the wind suddenly gusted a few times, it never lifted up my skirt.

How often do you and the other freestylers go out and about while wearing freestyle?

Thanks again for your reply.

Antonetti

Welcome Antonetti, I'm not sure of the definition of "freestyle". Please enlighten me as you what "you" consider it to be. Thanks.

I live in the south bay, and would have loved to join you for a drink while out freestyling! Unfortunately, I am out of town this weekend. Maybe next time you are here, let us know sooner.

Hello all,

A few months ago, Virgin American, the airline I usually fly with, offered a sale on round trip fares, which included a RT to San Francisco from New York for only US$ 325 or so. Regularly, it would cost at least US$ 600. I accepted the offer, but I'd have to travel certain dates.

This week is one of those dates. I landed a couple of days ago, so I'm baaack!

I like to once again ask if there's any freestylers in SF or thereabouts who wants to go about town with me while dressed.

We could meet at Union Square, talk, have a drink and "promenade." Perhaps we may go into, say, Macy's or Nordstroms, and see if there's anything that may fancy our freestyle interests.

Any takers?

Talk to you.

Antonetti

Hello all,

Several Skirt Cafe members replied the first time I posted this thread in Nov 2011.

But no one replied this time. Why is that?

Is appearing in freestyle at Union Square too unnerving for you? If so, you could choose a less "unnerving" place. But if Union Square is good, I'll be happy to buy you a drink when we meet.

Any takers? I'll be here in SF until Wednesday, Jan 21, 2015.

A-

Sorry, would love to meet with you but I'm in Texas,
near the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. A bit far for me as a
casual meet up. There are a couple of members in
the SFO area but due their work, may be out of
town during this time.

Have a great visit to the Bay Area

Uncle Al

Uncle Al wrote:Sorry, would love to meet with you but I'm in Texas,
near the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. A bit far for me as a
casual meet up. There are a couple of members in
the SFO area but due their work, may be out of
town during this time.

Have a great visit to the Bay Area

Uncle Al

Hey Uncle Al,

I appreciate your reply, but why are you replying for the "couple of members in the SFO area"? Why can't they reply for themselves?

Did they lose their nerve to publicly appear in freestyle? If so, I assure them there's nothing to fear. Indeed, I went out dressed everyday this week and I received no hassle; zero. I only regret not bringing more garments from home. But then again, I had so much fun shopping for freestyle outfits. I don't suppose the "members in the SFO area" are aware that SF is a freestyler's shopping paradise. Well, it is.

Besides shopping in the "Great Malls," and "mainstream stores," I've shopped in quirky stores in The Haight and Inner Sunset. I've also shopped in upscale boutiques in "Cow Hollow" and the Fillmore shopping area. And I did all this shopping while I was dressed in my freestyle outfits. I think it lends more "credibility" to me as a "serious shopper." And many employees liked my outfits. And when I asked them for their opinions about my outfits, and fashion advice, many eagerly provided them.

I think SF is the best city for freestylers to publicly wear their outfits and fully express themselves with little, if any, hassle. Indeed, I felt "normal" while being among the public while dressed in my freestyle outfits.

Check it out.

And yeah, Uncle Al, I did have a great visit in the Bay Area.

A-

I don't interact and post much here anymore, so am maybe not the best to make this comment, but make this observation:

Your first two posts were made in Nov 2011 asking to meet up with people who do not know you and are, frankly, unusual. Being on the "fringe" of society where prejudices (whether real or perceived) abound can make you fearful and wary.

Then nothing until now, some three years later, when you return asking the same. All this at short notice, too.

It may be that you do not enjoy the freedom of being yourself at home. I cannot make any reasoned assessment as there is insufficient information. May I suggest you become a more active member over the coming months and years; tell us a little about yourself, your circumstances, your interests, etc. This is generally a friendly place. If you are unable to access the site from home, perhaps your local library would be a good place (assuming you have the same facilities we enjoy in the UK). In doing so, I am sure you will gain immeasurably.

Just my thoughts and observations. I'm going back under my rock now.

Hi Old Skirt,

Thank you for your reply, in which you said, partly:

OldSkirt wrote:I don't interact and post much here anymore, so am maybe not the best to make this comment, but make this observation:

Your first two posts were made in Nov 2011 asking to meet up with people who do not know you and are, frankly, unusual. Being on the "fringe" of society where prejudices (whether real or perceived) abound can make you fearful and wary.

Then nothing until now, some three years later, when you return asking the same. All this at short notice, too.

You may not be the "best" to make the comments and observations, but, as far as I'm concerned, you're good enough. And please, I beseech you, do interact and post more often here.

Anyhow, many might agree with your feelings that we freestylers are "unusual," "on the fringe of society," and are "fearful and wary." But I thought one of the goals here, if it's not the main one, is to make freestyling less unusual, take it out of the fringe of society and make it more socially acceptable, so we won't remain "fearful and wary." Tell me if I'm incorrect.

Besides, why do you feel my long absence from the board is so worrisome? And why are you so fearful that I'm asking to meet other freestylers "at short notice"? What happened to spontaneity and daring do among the members here?

When it comes down to it, I'm asking members to meet me on a "blind date" and an online one at that. And I'm not asking anyone to meet me in a secluded, blind alley or inside a cheap hotel room. Rather, I'm asking to meet at Union Square, a very public area. (Since you're from the UK, I suppose that's like Trafalgar Square or Piccadilly Circus in London.) And if you ever went on a blind date, you know you could see your prospect from a distance, and if you don't like what you see, just leave. Thus, if someone had agreed to meet me at Union Square, he can see me from a distance, and if he thinks I look threatening or fearsome or even better dressed than he , then he could leave the area and not "consummate" our date. I'll be disappointed at being stood up, but that's the risk of blind dates.

OldSkirt wrote:It may be that you do not enjoy the freedom of being yourself at home. I cannot make any reasoned assessment as there is insufficient information.

Let me help you make a "reasoned assessment." I'm from New York City, whose one borough, Brooklyn, is almost twice as large as San Francisco. I do go out in freestyle at home and I do "enjoy the freedom of being [myself] at home." I may not have gone out seven days in a row at home, but I do go out several times each month.

When going out in freestyle or even "in drab," whether in NYC or SF, one should always be alert and aware of their surroundings. Having said that, going out in freestyle in SF is different than in NYC. For one thing, no one knows me. And people in SF seems more tolerant of me. Though I saw some double takes, and furtive glances (as I do at home), I encountered no mean remarks or hassles. Indeed, I've gotten several compliments on my outfits from women AND men. Another difference with SF and NYC are the hills in SF, some very steep. So I had to forego my heels and wore only my flats. Oh well.

I had previously said that I think SF is the best city to go freestyle. And I'll say it again. You can enjoy the openness and freedom to dress as you like in SF. And it's a great place to boast your confidence with wearing freestyle in public. You could experiment with your outfits and, if you like, expand your freestyle repertoire to include makeup. (I had a ball in a Sephora store getting lessons on eye makeup.) And SF has all those stores for freestylers to shop to their heart's content.

OldSkirt wrote:May I suggest you become a more active member over the coming months and years; tell us a little about yourself, your circumstances, your interests, etc. This is generally a friendly place. If you are unable to access the site from home, perhaps your local library would be a good place (assuming you have the same facilities we enjoy in the UK). In doing so, I am sure you will gain immeasurably.

Fine. I'll take your suggestions to heart. And thanks for offering them.

Still, whether I go through your seeming "screening process," I like to think I had opened this thread for members to various areas of discussions. And I'm unconcerned whether the member had been "pre-screened." For example, members in the Bay Area (and all areas) could debate whether SF is the best, or even a good place to freestyle or tell us about their experiences in SF as a freestyler. Perhaps they could even tell us their favorite places to shop. (Besides the major retailers, I've shopped at some thrift shops in SF, such as Good Will and the Salvation Army. Since they receive donations, their stuff aren't up to snuff and their stores smell like locker rooms. There are, however, "upscale" thrift shops or "recyclers" whose employees buy their clothing from people and offer a percentage of what these employees think the item will sell for. "Crossroads" is one such store and has at least two stores in SF. I've been to both, and bought two dresses at one for bargain prices. The Haight has many such stores.)

Old Skirt, if there is a formal process to invite members to discuss topics in my thread, please tell me what it is.

OldSkirt wrote:Just my thoughts and observations. I'm going back under my rock now.

Thanks again for your reply and "thoughts and observations." And please, for goodness sake, whatever you do, don't go back under your rock. Instead, come out into the light and fresh air, as you openly wear your freestyle garments in public and where you can enjoy the freedom and joy of doing so. And most important, you can let yourself lose the fear and wariness you expressed at the beginning of your reply. And while, as you said, "society" has many prejudices concerning freestylers, the one prejudice about freesylers that we can overcome is not "society's," but the one in our heads. Think about that.

Thanks for reading my reply.

A-

Hi Antonetti

Thank you for such a comprehensive and erudite response. I am sure that there will be many here who appreciate your input, insight and experience. I agree that our goal should be to make men in skirts or free-style, if not actually mainstream, then more widely seen. I'm not going to say accepted because I believe that most of those encountering a skirted man or free-styler don't really mind nor care. I used to be such an advocate, but took some severe knocks as a result of being open and honest - not from the general populace, I must stress.

I admire your forthright approach; a trait with which your side of the pond seems to be more at ease generally. And this cafe seems to attract a balanced and level headed patronage. I realise that the distances between cities and states over there can be vast, but believe there are quite a few free-stylers dotted along the Eastern Seaboard. I sincerely hope that you are able to meet up with a few of them and many more on your travels.

I am going to crawl back under my rock, but not because of this wonderful cafe; it's for reasons alluded to above. Maybe, when things improve, I'll become more active. But, before I go, please enjoy the company here and