Clothing envy - does it dissipate?

[crfriend]

Unless one makes a conscious effort to combine comfort/practicality with style. Experimenting, then creating a look for oneself after careful consideration of each item.

And just how many are likely to put thought into that and actually execute on it? I'd posit very, very few. It's work for either sex, and depending on locale, can be dangerous for men.

[STEVIE]

Unless one makes a conscious effort to combine comfort/practicality with style. Experimenting, then creating a look for oneself after careful consideration of each item. This is what I am trying to do now.
This would mean, in effect, designing a uniform for ones self.

Uniform of one, unique to yourself Grok, grammatically dubious but still true.
Apart from the current climate, as boys it is very unusual to be encouraged to experiment in such a way as to develop a "personal" style.
As things stand that will likely deteriorate further before we see improvement.
Steve

[Grok]

Yes, a uniform of one. Buy the same, or very similar items, which you can don without much thought, because you planned ahead. Make it almost automatic.

Of course, you can throw on without much thought the same old dreary stuff.

Much of the style material on line is about wearing traditional trouser suits in compliance with rules. I have reached a point where I rarely if ever dress to that level of formality. But on the other hand I still want my rig to look decent.

[AnonUser30]

Uniform of one, unique to yourself Grok, grammatically dubious but still true.
Apart from the current climate, as boys it is very unusual to be encouraged to experiment in such a way as to develop a "personal" style.
As things stand that will likely deteriorate further before we see improvement.
Steve

Can't say I agree with this. Especially amongst younger men and teen boys, there seems to be much more experimenting with personal style happening now than when I was that age. Things like makeup, jewelry, nail polish, better hair and skincare seem much more prevalent to me now.

[crfriend]

Can't say I agree with this.

Well, the entire concept of looking identical day after day was parodied to death during the 1980s, which it rightly deserved. It shows precisely zero creativity, and humans need creativity to be at their best.

Especially amongst younger men and teen boys, there seems to be much more experimenting with personal style happening now than when I was that age. Things like makeup, jewelry, nail polish, better hair and skincare seem much more prevalent to me now.

They just have to keep it "safe" and they'll likely be OK -- so long as the activity doesn't attract attention.

Around here, it's just a matter of time from when you "step out of bounds" you'll find yourself getting disappeared and transported to an even worse third-world hole, never to return or be seen again. We're counting the minutes. It's al quite depressing.

[Grok]

Lately I have noticed something on the right side of my screen when looking at YouTube videos.

Men (generally younger men) wearing simple necklaces. These usually look like gold chains. Minimalistic, but gold being gold it can look elegant.

[Modoc]

Women don't wear sexy clothes to attract men. They wear them because it feels good to look good. It's the same reason you like wearing skirts. Having started wearing "sexier" outfits, I can confirm it's quite nice to feel hot.

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't the whole connotation of being/feeling "hot" a reference to being physically attractive with sexual overtones?

[AnonUser30]

Yes, looking/feeling hot will be tied to ones sense of sexuality and attraction. It's still important to distinguish dressing for others vs yourself.

[Barleymower]

Women don't wear sexy clothes to attract men. They wear them because it feels good to look good. It's the same reason you like wearing skirts. Having started wearing "sexier" outfits, I can confirm it's quite nice to feel hot.

No it isn't. You really have to distingush between the good feeling from looking good and feeling sexy. They both feel good but they are not the same.
I freely admit that skirts make me feel good but they don't make me feel sexy.
There's nothing with feeling sexy in a skirt either but your motives are likey to be different. This hits on the root of societies problem with skirted men.

[Barleymower]

Societies problem with skirted men...
Women can and do have relationships with women and say "this isn't working for me" and get a boyfriend. Happens all the time. Men on the other hand are eitter straight or not. There's possibily a bit of experimenting but gaytown is essentially a one way trip.
That's why people are suspicious of skirted men "who are they kidding?". Until skirted outfits are seen as straight then skirted men will be seen as otherwise. Progress has been made but we are not there yet. There is only one thing for it. Wear what you want and eventually people will see you are not gay, not trans, not anything. Just a man.

[crfriend]

Until skirted outfits are seen as straight then skirted men will be seen as otherwise. Progress has been made but we are not there yet. There is only one thing for it. Wear what you want and eventually people will see you are not gay, not trans, not anything. Just a man.

The problem with this line of thought is that one is assuming open minds -- there are precious few of those in large swathes of the world, and the places where they do exist are shrinking. Tolerance, never mind acceptance, is dwindling fast in the undeveloped world, and that world will remain in that mode potentially for centuries.

Men in lots of places in the world are subject to vicious policing and penalties if they veer even slightly off the "straight and narrow" -- and this includes attire (irrelevant as it is!). So, for a while (several lifetimes, potentially) we're just going to have to suck it up and conform if we're to remain somewhat free (or at least not imprisoned more than we already are).

Take into account your physical location before "putting on the glad rags"!

[Barleymower]

Until skirted outfits are seen as straight then skirted men will be seen as otherwise. Progress has been made but we are not there yet. There is only one thing for it. Wear what you want and eventually people will see you are not gay, not trans, not anything. Just a man.

The problem with this line of thought is that one is assuming open minds -- there are precious few of those in large swathes of the world, and the places where they do exist are shrinking. Tolerance, never mind acceptance, is dwindling fast in the undeveloped world, and that world will remain in that mode potentially for centuries.

Men in lots of places in the world are subject to vicious policing and penalties if they veer even slightly off the "straight and narrow" -- and this includes attire (irrelevant as it is!). So, for a while (several lifetimes, potentially) we're just going to have to suck it up and conform if we're to remain somewhat free (or at least not imprisoned more than we already are).

Take into account your physical location before "putting on the glad rags"!

I agree with you Carl. Open minds or not? Peoples minds moving like a herd with a persistent direction should not be confused with independant minds coming to the same conclusion at the same time and the herd changes direction.

[jamie001]

I have been watching a TV network in the USA called NewsMax. lt is very conservative and they worship our president. They have been on a tirade lately regarding trans folks and gender nonconforming. They claim that gender nonconforming folks are out to indoctrinate our children or that they want to harm children. This tirade was a result of the recent school shooting at a Catholic School in Minnesota during Mass.

I did some research and sound that since 1995, only 0.1 percent of school shooters were gender nonconforming or trans. The current administration will do anything to continue their war on gender nonconforming folks because it was a campaign promise. Conservative television is getting people fired up about how gender nonconforming folks are the devil in disguise and are severely mentally deranged, and are a threat to society as we know it. If you don't believe me, check out NewsMax and some conservative podcasts for yourself.

Remember that society sees us as gender nonconforming, trans, and possible mentally deranged. Be careful out there. Maybe it is time that we take a break for a while and transition back to trousers. This is all a result of the current administration and political climate in the USA. Hold on folks, we are time traveling back to the 1950's and daddy knows best. Hopefully someone can disable the flux capacitor!

[AnonUser30]

Women don't wear sexy clothes to attract men. They wear them because it feels good to look good. It's the same reason you like wearing skirts. Having started wearing "sexier" outfits, I can confirm it's quite nice to feel hot.

No it isn't. You really have to distingush between the good feeling from looking good and feeling sexy. They both feel good but they are not the same.
I freely admit that skirts make me feel good but they don't make me feel sexy.
There's nothing with feeling sexy in a skirt either but your motives are likey to be different. This hits on the root of societies problem with skirted men.

I do make that distinction. My original point was that women dress for themselves, not for other men. They get self enjoyment from their clothes. Yes, looking sexy or hot is one flavor of that self enjoyment, but it's not the only flavor.

So, for a while (several lifetimes, potentially) we're just going to have to suck it up and conform if we're to remain somewhat free (or at least not imprisoned more than we already are).

Take into account your physical location before "putting on the glad rags"!

I'm not sure where you live but I've basically had no issues wearing skirts in the conservative state of Texas. I don't think hiding is going to help anyone. I actually feel a duty to stick my neck out a bit to help normalize the site of gender nonconforming and trans people.

[crfriend]

Remember that society sees us as gender nonconforming, trans, and possible mentally deranged. Be careful out there. Maybe it is time that we take a break for a while and transition back to trousers. This is all a result of the current administration and political climate in the USA. Hold on folks, we are time traveling back to the 1950's and daddy knows best. Hopefully someone can disable the flux capacitor!

It's a pity that "daddy" is a toddler stuck in a deep case of arrested development that needs a timeout in his playpen (jail) for pitching tantrums in the supermarket aisles. And, yes, the general populace who gobble up that propaganda view us all in the same lens -- which is completely false all the way 'round! This includes the Gestapo that will be rounding up anybody who sticks out. That's why I'm urging caution at the moment for folks in the undeveloped world.

And don't get me going on the topic of mass shootings. Any nation that normalises that sort of behaviour is seriously off its rocker. The fact that actions like that are even thinkable I find disturbing -- because to a normal mind they aren't.