The Voice of Fashion: Why Men Don’t Take So Easily to Skirts

[jamie001]

There is another way to look at this:

If she reacts negatively to your skirt wearing even after you explain the double standard regarding male/female fashion, you do not want her in your life anyway! You want people that accept you for who you are, not who you pretend to be! Pretending is not living a genuine life.

As someone here has said many times: "The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind, don't matter."

This is true. But who does live a genuine life?

People attempt to eradicate, or at least surpress what they believe to be their undesirable aspects and traits in order to be better accepted by others all the time.

Like I said, tribalism. And unfortunately, human beings are hardwired to seek acceptance. It takes incredible strength to deny that instinct and decimate your prospects as a result.

Yes, however once you make that decision and take that step, you will experience an exhilarating freedom that you have never felt before and will be at peace with yourself.

Also purging is never the answer. Before I learned by lesson, I have purged so many times in the past and re-purchased all of the feminine stuff that I purged within one year. The urge to wear what you want to wear never goes away, which is also a psychologically documented fact.

[BouffantBelle]

Also purging is never the answer. Before I learned by lesson, I have purged so many times in the past and re-purchased all of the feminine stuff that I purged within one year.

Bless ya!
Never fear, my skirts are going nowhere. They may stay behind closed doors, but stay they shall.

[Myopic Bookworm]

People attempt to eradicate, or at least surpress what they believe to be their undesirable aspects and traits in order to be better accepted by others all the time.

Human beings are hardwired to seek acceptance. It takes incredible strength to deny that instinct and decimate your prospects as a result.

Yes, however once you make that decision and take that step, you will experience an exhilarating freedom that you have never felt before and will be at peace with yourself.

Also purging is never the answer.

This rings true to me. Fear of rejection, or of limiting my prospects, led me to bury any hint of not being entirely straight for decades, and to avoid any form of presentation (clothes included) that might hint the wrong way. I am grateful to the Scottish kilt for offering a halfway house. I am now old enough (and settled enough in marriage) to stop giving quite so many ****s about what I imagine that people may be thinking.
(Though I guess I do live in a politer neck of the woods than Belle.)

[ScotL]

Now, the magic lies in how she perceives herself; does she take stock of her chosen expression and contemplate on its meaning in society, or does she just "be who she is" and let the world assume what it will?

Moon, that is brilliant.

Words to live by.

[jamie001]

Now, the magic lies in how she perceives herself; does she take stock of her chosen expression and contemplate on its meaning in society, or does she just "be who she is" and let the world assume what it will?

Moon, that is brilliant.

Words to live by.

Yes Moon's comment is brilliant! The post should be pinned by the mods so that it can be read for years to come.It contains the words to live by for folks like us that wear feminine fashion.

[ScotL]

Now, the magic lies in how she perceives herself; does she take stock of her chosen expression and contemplate on its meaning in society, or does she just "be who she is" and let the world assume what it will?

Moon, that is brilliant.

Words to live by.

Now, the magic lies in how she perceives herself; does she take stock of her chosen expression and contemplate on its meaning in society, or does she just "be who she is" and let the world assume what it will?

Moon, that is brilliant.

Words to live by.

Yes Moon's comment is brilliant! The post should be pinned by the mods so that it can be read for years to come.It contains the words to live by for folks like us that wear feminine fashion.

So good you quoted it twice!!

[Spirou003]

Men need to get over being associated with labels. So What if ignorant people think you are trans or gay? It doesn't matter one iota.

It matters because:
- If I'm chatting with a woman that I want to become my girlfriend, there is no chance for the latter to happen if she thinks I'm trans or gay
- I have been that ignorant person some time ago who would have labelled most of us in that box, whereas I was/am what society can consider a smart and open minded man
- My best (girl) friend, who was initially against the idea of walking with me when I wear a skirt, did change of mind. If I have met her in a skirt the first time, I would have lost a great friend

(...) If she reacts negatively to your skirt wearing even after you explain the double standard regarding male/female fashion, you do not want her in your life anyway! (...)

I did add underline to my message, which prove you may want that person to be in your life anyway, despite the initial rejection. Don't judge a book by its cover

There's definitely no chance for that to happen if she thinks her friends will think you're trans or gay. (...)

Good point

[TSH]

The fifth reason...The novelty! Trying skirts as an adult. Trying a garment that is fundamentally different from what you have worn before.

Excellent point! Guess I thought if that as the fashion aspect but I like your view better. Wearing just for fun. What an oddly amazing concept.

Men need to get over being associated with labels. So What if ignorant people think you are trans or gay? It doesn't matter one iota.

@Spirou003 already explained why it does matter, but I'll elucidate further. You can't just expect people, especially those of the male sex, to just "get over" the association of designations and such. It's already been established in this very thread that people seek approval. It doesn't even end at labels, either, because people tend to treat others based on the boxes they're put in. It's why people are as bigoted, stupid, and ignorant as they always been; always WILL be.

Yes, in general we male don't often wear things for fun. Usually we are stuck in...drab stuff.

Men are stuck there because they choose to be stuck. There is no law that prevents them from wearing skirts and other garments.

You're right; there are no laws that prevents male skirt-wearing. Just, y'know... the stigma, social pressure, and potential disapproval from people you know personally...

So What if ignorant people think you are trans or gay? It doesn't matter one iota.

In an ideal world it wouldn't matter one whit. The challenge, therefore, is to "Show me an ideal world." Because I'd posit that the one we live in isn't even close.

The issue is that men are herd animals and most of them are devastated and paranoid if they are deviating from the herd mindset. Can you imagine the horror of no longer being about to drink with macho dudes because you deviate from the herd by wearing a skirt? Women have always had the mindset that it is ok to deviate from the herd.

I seriously don't know what world you've been living in, but women are just as guilty of herd mentality as men are, and they always have been. Women are more likely to deviate it from because it's actively encouraged; the same isn't said for men.

[ScotL]

- I have been that ignorant person some time ago who would have labelled most of us in that box, whereas I was/am what society can consider a smart and open minded man

I missed this quote but it’s also brilliant. People can learn that their initial knee jerk reactions can change when they become educated or meet someone who does things differently.

[jamie001]

Excellent point! Guess I thought if that as the fashion aspect but I like your view better. Wearing just for fun. What an oddly amazing concept.

Men need to get over being associated with labels. So What if ignorant people think you are trans or gay? It doesn't matter one iota.

@Spirou003 already explained why it does matter, but I elucidate further. You can't just expect people, especially those of the male sex, to just "get over" the association of designations and such. It's already been established in this very thread that people seek approval. It doesn't even end at labels, either, because people tend to treat others based on the boxes they're put in. It's why people are as bigoted, stupid, and ignorant as they always been; always WILL be.

Yes, in general we male don't often wear things for fun. Usually we are stuck in...drab stuff.

Men are stuck there because they choose to be stuck. There is no law that prevents them from wearing skirts and other garments.

You're right; there are no laws that prevents male skirt-wearing. Just, y'know... the stigma, social pressure, and potential disapproval from people you know personally...

In an ideal world it wouldn't matter one whit. The challenge, therefore, is to "Show me an ideal world." Because I'd posit that the one we live in isn't even close.

The issue is that men are herd animals and most of them are devastated and paranoid if they are deviating from the herd mindset. Can you imagine the horror of no longer being about to drink with macho dudes because you deviate from the herd by wearing a skirt? Women have always had the mindset that it is ok to deviate from the herd.

I seriously don't know what world you've been living in, but women are just as guilty of herd mentality as men are, and they always have been. Women are more likely to deviate it from because it's actively encouraged; the same isn't said for men.

The problem is that men are always seeking approval from other men. I don't GAF if other men approve or not. Seeking approval by limiting what you wear is giving other people control of your lives and being a sheep. Do you want to be a sheep and follow the herd, or do you want to break free from the herd, march to your own drum, wear what you want to wear with a don't GAF attitude, and experience true liberation? It is your choice.

[BouffantBelle]

The problem is that men are always seeking approval from other men. I don't GAF if other men approve or not. Seeking approval by limiting what you wear is giving other people control of your lives and being a sheep. Do you want to be a sheep and follow the herd, or do you want to break free from the herd, march to your own drum, wear what you want to wear with a don't GAF attitude, and experience true liberation? It is your choice.

I don't want their approval. I just don't want to be put in a position where I have to lock horns, or eat the drop in the estimations of everyone present. They can disapprove all they want, as long as they keep their traps shut and mind their own business.

Yeah, right.

[jamie001]

The problem is that men are always seeking approval from other men. I don't GAF if other men approve or not. Seeking approval by limiting what you wear is giving other people control of your lives and being a sheep. Do you want to be a sheep and follow the herd, or do you want to break free from the herd, march to your own drum, wear what you want to wear with a don't GAF attitude, and experience true liberation? It is your choice.

I don't want their approval. I just don't want to be put in a position where I have to lock horns, or eat the drop in the estimations of everyone present. They can disapprove all they want, as long as they keep their traps shut and mind their own business.

Yeah, right.

I agree. Also, I always keep a strong bottle of pepper spray in my purse in the event that some bigot wants to make trouble. Hopefully I will never need to use it.

[jamie001]

After giving this thread additional thought, I came to the following conclusions:

1. Men do not easily accept any fashion change. They are used to boring colors, boring pants, shirts, boring ugly shoe designs, cargo pants (horror), and other items that really haven't changed in the past 80 years.

2. Men are afraid of any fashion change because they are worried that they will be considered to be a gay homosexual if they deviate from the prescribed male attire and color schemes.

3. Men are afraid of appearing feminine since they were taught early in life that there is no insult worse than being called a "girl". They don't realize that feminine has significant advantages over masculine. The majority of people graduating with university degrees are women.

4.How many years did it take for men's earrings to become mainstream (at least on African American Men)? The answer is 40 years! Yikes!!

5. Purses are very useful especially with all of the gadgets that we carry like phones, pads, chargers, extra battery power, wallet, etc. How many men carry purses for their stuff? Maybe 1 out of 1000 and I think that is a high estimate. Again men are afraid of looking feminine/gay.

6. Designers have tried to introduce skirts for men but they do not sell even though that appear to be very comfortable. Again men fear appearing feminine/gay.

7. Skin care products for men do not really sell. Men will not spend the money and time required to have nice skin. If they use skin care products, they will not tell anyone for fear of appearing gay.

IMO skirts for men are at least 100 to 200 years away and it may never happen. The problem is the attitude that feminine is inferior and to be avoided at all costs and that appearing gay is an abomination. This misinformation is passed down from father to son generation after generation. Here is an example that I read last week:

A mother and her two young daughters were painting their nails. The young son also wanted his nail painted. The mother saw no issue with this an proceeded to paint his nails. The little boy was overjoyed with his new blue nails. When the boy's father got home, he completely went ape **** on the little boy that boys do not wear nail polish and that he looks gay! The father made the mother immediately remove the nail polish and then punished the boy for his girly behavior and completely crushed the boy's spirit. The mother and father got into a big argument about this and she posted about it on AITA.com (Am I the Asshole).

There were more than 100 replies with women siding with the mother that there is nothing wrong with painting the boy's nails. On the other hand, all fathers that chimed-in said that boys should not wear nail polish because it is for girls and the boy may become homosexual. This is a problem in a nutshell. Until the attitude of fathers changes regarding the need to display masculinity, future boys will be confined to the same straitjacket regarding acceptable fashion.

It is a sad state of affairs.

[Uncle Al]

The problem is that men are always seeking approval from other men.

Really

I don't GAF if other men approve or not. Seeking approval by limiting what
you wear is giving other people control of your lives and being a sheep.

In most cases, true

Do you want to be a sheep and follow the herd, or do you want to break free
from the herd, march to your own drum, wear what you want to wear with a
don't GAF attitude, and experience true liberation? It is your choice.

BUT I MUST DISAGREE WITH THIS LAST PART
I march to my own drum, whether it be large or small.
I wear what is best for the activity I'm doing, or going to do.
I Will Not Wear A Skirt around machinery or when working on a vehicle.
That's common sense. I would not wear a formal dress to operate any heavy equipment.
Function over form. Too much material to get caught on/in moving parts.
That's a safety issue

My health, and well being, are more important than what clothing I choose to wear.

Granted, at 72 years of age, I have much more freedom to choose what I wear than
I did prior to retirement. I'm no longer using, or working around, any machinery
that could cause harm to me, or anyone else.

Uncle Al

[BouffantBelle]

That's common sense. I would not wear a formal dress to operate any heavy equipment.
Function over form. Too much material to get caught on/in moving parts.
That's a safety issue

My health, and well being, are more important than what clothing I choose to wear.

Is it wrong that I'd be more worried about the health and well being of my skirts than my own? Wounds heal, tears don't.