Clothing envy - does it dissipate?

[Barleymower]

That's a lovely velvet red dress Stevie. I would have wanted that.
Maybe you should start a Red Dress Run here in the uk?
https://www.noh3.com/RDRHome

(Edit changed her to here)

[Coder]

Five years. Wow.

Unfortunately I don't have anything profound to say, other than yeah, after a number of years of wearing what I want, the envy has left.

[Mouse]

My envy has dissipated over time as my own style has grown.

I think the biggest change came when I started working in skirts. Now there is no more Monday morning sadness of having to wear trousers and envy others who could go to work in whatever they liked.

I am still slightly envious of beautiful women wearing wonderful dresses on the red carpet, but there again, many women have the same envy, so it is hard to feel too aggrieved. Of course the fun experiments of wearing long skirts in London with large petticoats goes some way to mitigating such feelings.

[Grok]

I have definitely outgrown the envy that I/we felt for that red dress age 6 or so.

When I was a small boy, back during the 1960s, I would have definitely been envious of that red dress.

Quick summary-during the 1960s most females were still mostly wearing skirted rigs. And compared to male clothes, female clothes tended to be much more varied, intricate, fancy, ruffly, frilly, and generally more colorful.

What interested me by far the most were the skirted parts of their rigs. So very different from what we boys were confined to; I was drawn towards the skirts. And in adulthood, I confirmed what I had supposed as a boy-that, other than covering the lower body, skirts are fundamentally different from trousers.

So, in order of importance, I would have envied that red dress for three different reasons:

1. Skirt

2. Fancy/frilly

3. Bright color

[Grok]

Over all, my envy has pretty much dissipated. I am working on developing my own style. The level of formality I am aiming for is roughly equivalent to Business Casual. That level would mean a rig more attractive than what most people wear on the street.

Reviewed a link that I posted to the Style thread. Quoting recommendations for Business Casual:

"Dress pants or khakis with a fashionable top is appropriate. A casual skirt is also an option. Feel free to dress up your outfit with heels, jewelry and/or accessories if desired."

Decided on the (original) Macabi skirt. Fairly plain, but available in bright color. Sturdy construction. Easy to care for. Good pockets. A longer length, which I like.

Decided on black crew socks of bamboo fiber. Black is a neutral that goes well with most any color of shoes or trousers. Also, black goes well with my skin tone. Bamboo fiber seems to breathe better than the synthetic blends that I have worn before.

I have begun to experiment with hats. I have purchased a fedora.

[Grok]

Briefly experimented with womens tops. The results were lame. Will probably end up with something from the more formal range of mens shirts.

As for shoe style...now that I have arthritis in my feet, will I have to compromise? I had to give up on sandals when I got plantarfacsitis (plantars foot), and wear special insoles.

[DrFishnets]

I’ve always liked the style of wearing Dr Marten boots with mini dresses and long skirts. Dr Martens also look great IMO with black tights or black fishnets.

Before I started experimenting with skirts I remember seeing women wear Dr Martens with black tights, long skirts or mini dresses and thinking how I’d love to dress like that myself. The only thing stopping me was that I am a man and society will ridicule me if I wore skirts, mini dresses and tights.

Fast forward to today and now I dress that way and I’ve never felt happier with my style of clothing. I love black tights, I love black fishnets, I love mini dresses, I love Dr Marten boots and I love long tiered skirts and I love the freedom I have now to wear those style of clothes. I don’t care what society thinks. I am myself when I’m wearing those clothes.

[AnonUser30]

@DrFishnets - It sounds like you've arrived at a great place with your clothing and style. I'm also a fan Dr. Martens, however they don't offer the heeled women's versions in a size that fits me So, I guess I still have some envy around that.

For myself, I still experience some clothing envy. I'm a big fan of women's athleisure styles. I love the leggings+crop top look. I also like the tennis dresses and athletic rompers that have become trendy. I actually have begun to wear more of that those types of clothing, but it's taken a while to develop my confidence around it. Not only is wearing a pair of scrunch butt work out shorts unusual for a guy, but it puts your body on display to a degree that most men aren't accustomed to. I'm borderline at the age where I can actually pull off those types of clothing so I'm trying to get over the anxiety and enjoy it while I can.

[Grok]

I'm borderline at the age where I can actually pull off those types of clothing

A few months after my 67th birthday, I was surprised by an abrupt change in my physical appearance. First, I noticed something odd about the skin on my arms-my skin looked like old peoples skin. Then I noticed a change in my throat-it had a sunken, gaunt appearance.

You get to a point where you no longer have a body you want to display, the youthful appearance is gone.

[Grok]

yeah, after a number of years of wearing what I want, the envy has left.

A very good point. As an adult, you finally get to wear what you were denied as a boy.

A couple developments I did not anticipate as a boy:

1. Completion of a sartorial revolution. Females switching to trousers. I believe that I now wear skirts more than most women.

2. Great Renunciation by women. Women switching to drab, boring clothing.

My envy of the fancy/frilly stuff largely dissipated, because women seldom wear it any more. Keep in mind, when I was a small boy, half the people around me got to wear what was forbidden to us males, the interesting stuff.

Somebody once said that women get all of the good clothes. But women have largely abandoned the interesting stuff.

[Barleymower]

Somebody once said that women get all of the good clothes. But women have largely abandoned the interesting stuff.

Women 'in general' seem to be genuinely not very interested in clothes. They mostly dress for comfort and practicality. This would some degree explain why they often are abhorrent about men wearing feminine clothes.

The other aspect of womens clothes is 'sexy'. It's said that these women's clothes are designed by men for the male gaze. Surely though they would not buy them? Women do not buy clothes to please men, so do they buy them? They are revealing after all. None of it makes sense.

[Grok]

Unless the 'sexy' clothes are for "hunting." A woman hunting for a mate. And upon marriage the sexy items will likely be shoved back into the closet and forgotten.

A desire for comfort and practicality, of course, could apply to anybody.

[crfriend]

Unless the 'sexy' clothes are for "hunting." A woman hunting for a mate. And upon marriage the sexy items will likely be shoved back into the closet and forgotten.

This is likely as old as the notion of "sexy clothes" in general.

A desire for comfort and practicality, of course, could apply to anybody.

Sadly, this leads inevitably to the scourge of "athleisure" (or outright grunge) which, in my opinion, is pure dreck.

Nothing new here. Move on.

[Grok]

A desire for comfort and practicality, of course, could apply to anybody.

Sadly, this leads inevitably to the scourge of "athleisure" (or outright grunge) which, in my opinion, is pure dreck.

Unless one makes a conscious effort to combine comfort/practicality with style. Experimenting, then creating a look for oneself after careful consideration of each item. This is what I am trying to do now.

This would mean, in effect, designing a uniform for ones self. This may sound monotonous, but if anything "athleisure" is even more so.

[AnonUser30]

The other aspect of womens clothes is 'sexy'. It's said that these women's clothes are designed by men for the male gaze. Surely though they would not buy them? Women do not buy clothes to please men, so do they buy them? They are revealing after all. None of it makes sense.

Women don't wear sexy clothes to attract men. They wear them because it feels good to look good. It's the same reason you like wearing skirts. Having started wearing "sexier" outfits, I can confirm it's quite nice to feel hot.