Escaping the man box - action needed

[robehickman]

Humans will start doing something for a practical reason to start with, such as women wearing dresses because they can easily adapt to body changes due to pregnancy, or men wearing pants due to needing to ride horses or do other physical work. People then start enforcing this norm and do not stop to question WHY it is being done, thus you get all the toxic behaviour from others when a man wears a skirt.

This behaviour persisting broken ideologies is a massive problem in the world today spreading to things much more serious than whether men can wear skirts. For one, remote working has been technically possible for about 30 years before the pandemic pushed people en-masse to realise that it's a good idea.

There are different neurotypes, and some can very easily see these idiotic cultural behaviours. The ability to see things 'as an outsider', is probably why the autistic neurotype exists:

https://robehickman.com/living-with-per ... r-autonomy

[crfriend]

It is one of the problems of men is we act as individuals not as groups. Groups are more powerful than in a single voice. It's one of the defining attributes of men, self reliance, not asking for help.

Here, you're touching on one of the most basic parts of social organisation -- the difference between individualism and collectivism. The two are at fundamental opposition, yet both must work in successful societies. At best, it's a balancing-act. Let me know if you ever find one.

You have the respect of your community, that's massive! Gaining respect takes time and effort. It means that when people compare what you are doing to what they are doing they hold you in high esteem.

Yes, a good reputation is something well worth striving for and cultivating. One of the funnier definitions of "reputation" being, "It's what people are not thinking about you!"

If you are not being successful in the romance dept, it's not the skirt. You not attractive to the opposite sex. Either you are being too grumpy or your look is putting women off.

Sentence two is where it goes off the rails with circular logic. I am not "attractive" to the opposite sex because I do not fit within the tight little box they expect me in, that makes them uncomfortable, so they refuse to get close. I'm also somewhat of a curmudgeon -- not unusual for my age -- and my age is not being kind with my looks. Time to wise up and abandon hope once and for all.

[Uncle Al]

Sentence two is where it goes off the rails with circular logic. I am not "attractive"
to the opposite sex because I do not fit within the tight little box they expect me in,
that makes them uncomfortable, so they refuse to get close. I'm also somewhat of a
curmudgeon -- not unusual for my age -- and my age is not being kind with my looks.
Time to wise up and abandon hope once and for all.

A single 'stick' is fragile. It breaks quite easily. Each member of the Cafe' is a 'stick'.
A bundle of 'sticks', tied together, is strong. Working together, we will be stronger.
'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' is often miss-understood. What a person "see's"
is not the same for everyone. REAL BEAUTY comes from within - not what we wear.

I'll go back under my rock

Uncle Al

[crfriend]

REAL BEAUTY comes from within - not what we wear.

It's an extremely small subset of the population that bothers to look under the "surface". This is worth recalling when dealing with the general population -- especially in highly sensitive and personal matters.

[Tazzmac]

G'day all ...Great topic ..have enjoyed reading some great comments ... CONFORMITY and EXPECTATION is Man Box in a nutshell .. Nothing more ..

Us blokes no matter what age are expected to be born and be chucked into the man box and come out later with certain expectations on what we need to conform to as we live our lives .. No matter where we live on this planet it exists .. Women too I suppose ..

Every so often as we change in certain things .. Mostly for good but also the other way .. Mental health is one of those better ways the lid on the man box has slid open a bit .

On clothing and why most of us come to Skirtcafe is not wishing to conform necessarily on this aspect of western society life .. At different times I've read about why we dress like we do and the main reason both clothing undivided and divided legged was developed was primarily for practicality based on climate and working to survive and human kind's feelings about modesty of course..To keep warm , stay cool , to travel , to fight wars, to ride animals in comfort etc determined your clothing , male and female and not just to determine your sexual orientation . For lots of the time tunics gowns dresses skirts /,kilts ,sarongs/kimonos and such were worn by all fit for purpose . Trousers/breeches etc. too.. The Great Kilt was both clothing and shelter . up until the early 20th century young children wore dresses for practicality and simplicity ..

I wonder will that ever be the same again .. Not sure but as far as I'm aware there is no legal impediment other than used for fraudulent reasons why a person cannot wear clothing society deems male or female . Some even challenge workplace dress norms and win ..Also has been done in schools to get better gender equality outcomes .

We can only dream perhaps but its free and uncensored to dream for common sense to prevail one day .. Cheers..