Skirting around Buenos Aires

[Juan]

Jad.jpg

Thank you for the invitation. I'll grab my mug and take a seat right here, close to the potted plant near the River Plate. I’ve been a male skirt wearer for several years now, and I also dress in other garments traditionally considered “feminine”. But only recently did I come across these Internet forums (this is the second I actually sing up for). I should admit that the reason may be that I’m not much of a “forum” person. I stay away from all those pointless controversies and debates that are the subject matter of so many fora, so it hadn’t even crossed my mind to look for them. Actually, I didn’t even know they existed. But on the other hand, I do love to share, share experiences, share sightings, stories, pics. So it really came as a wonderful surprise to stumble across you, people, since it made me realise that I'm not the only guy out there wearing skirts in public!

So thank you Bob, Crfriend, Uncle Al, and anyone else responsible for all the effort in putting together and keeping up this meeting place.

Male skirts and male fashion freedom in general are not what they used to be. I cannot affirm that rejection, disrespect and contempt are entirely a thing of the past, but, at least in my experience, unless you actually enter a male-skirt-un-friendly place (like certain churches or other exceedingly tradition-oriented organizations, or testosterone-driven gatherings like a football field), the overall balance is actually positive. I mean, after all, you come face to face with savagely pierced and horrifyingly tattooed youngsters all the time, displaying outrageous hairdos and freaky outfits… a man wearing skirts and other apparel conventionally considered “feminine”, is probably not really something “way over the top” as is used to be. Unusual or funny perhaps, but not really offensive or disgusting to most people.

I acknowledge that wearing a skirt might get you to be discriminated against under certain circumstances. For example, when applying for a job. You may also get singled out in a particularly conservative environment, like some religious services… but then, why would you want to work in a place where you are not accepted the way you are, or attend a service you are not really welcome to? (I’ve attended Catholic masses in very sober skirts without any problem, so I guess the issue is not the outfit, but it being perceived as a provocation)

As for me, I wear skirts all the time. I don’t keep any record, so I can’t really tell how many times a week, but I guess I wear them just as often as I wear trousers, if not more. I can’t leave the house without my earrings (I have both ears pierced) and most of my shoes have moderately-high heels. No, I don’t wear stilettos… but all my footwear comes from the “ladies” section. I love platforms. Can’t have enough of them: I guess I just got stuck I the 70s. Platform-wedge sandals, mules, and clogs really drive me nuts (they take up a lot of space in the closet!) I seldom wear makeup (the only reason being that it’s one of the few things my wife´s still not comfortable with), but I often polish my nails, especially my toe-nails during the summer.

As a hobby, I’ve taken up dressmaking, and I’m very skillful at that. I sew my own clothes (and my wife’s), so all my clothing looks exactly the way I want it to look: I wear 70s-like bell-bottom pants, and palazzos, as well as embroidered blouses. I guess I look quite feminine by traditional standards.

Am I a cross-dresser? I don’t know. What do you think… am I? I don’t intend to look or “pass” as a woman (let alone with my beard), although on occasions I’m called “ma’am” (when addressed from behind).

What’s wrong with me, then? Nothing, I believe: I simply give myself “permission” to wear whatever garments I like, those I feel identified with, no matter what others think a “real” man “should” wear. It may have something to do, I wonder, with shifting gender roles. As I’ve always performed in my relationships those activities traditionally assigned to the female partner, at some point (very early on!) I may have started relating with a more compliant, unassertive, and creative image of myself.

Now, picture me the way I was dressed last night: an ankle-length black Indian skirt embroidered in gold, a black turtle neck sweater, large black knitted shawl, my high-heeled black boots with matching handbag (I was quite “dark”, now that I think about it!), accessorized with large crystal ear-studs, a black-and-golden necklace (it’s plastic actually, but looks great), silver bracelets and rings, walking confidently through the streets. What happened? Did I get any mocking comments? Astonished stares? Did I overhear giggles?

No: nothing of the sort. Nothing ever happens, actually. Of course I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that, along these many years, I’ve had to face offensive comments and scorn once in a while, but those have been very rare, isolated events.

Positive remarks and compliments by far overshadow negative ones. So, if any of you guys out there is still uncertain about going out in a skirt or high heels, my advice would be: go right ahead! You have nothing to fear, nothing to lose, and a lot of fun to win! Just do so naturally and in a relaxed way, and enjoy the experience. Don’t take my word for it: try it for yourselves. I tell you: even my most extreme flowered skirts or chunky-funky-platform sandals at most get as little as a startled glimpse or a muttered comment. Now: if you are intending to wear those garments as a provocation or transgression… you might feel disappointed: people are too concerned about their own affairs to care less about what you wear.

On the other hand, I don’t have a single friend who has taken his “fashion freedom” to the extent I have. I don’t even know of any single male in my city who does, so I do feel a little like the “black sheep” at times. That’s why this forum is such a great find for me. I hate controversies, plus I don’t feel discriminated against, nor do I have much to rant or argue about, so you won’t have me “defending” any particular “cause” or attacking anybody. What I’d love to have is simply fellow “free-dressers” (let’s call us that) to share ideas and experiences with.

I used to have a colleague who somehow managed to always wear a dress to work (in quite conservative surroundings!) He has left now. So again I’m the only nutty skirt-wearer in town. Good that you are all out there, guys! I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.

Juan

[stefan]

Juan,

Welcome to the forum. You will find that this forum is more active than the atrium that you already are a member in. There is also another forum at http://skirts4men.myfreeforum.org/index.php That forum is managed by skip who you would find here under the name since1982.

Again a warm welcome.

/Stefan

[Uncle Al]

Hi Juan and

You will find just about as many different 'tastes in skirts/kilts' as there
are members here at the Cafe'. Some like them short, some like them
long and some like them middle of the knee.

So grab a cup, pull up a chair and join in on any of the conversations
you like.

Uncle Al

Note--I just scored a milestone----500 posts

[Juan]

Hey Stefan! I'm so glad to meet you again! Yes, you're right... I can see that this Cafe is way more active than the Atrium. I'll check out the one you suggest as well, although I'm afraid i don't have too much time to post in too many forums. I'll take a look at it all the same.

Thank you for the warm welcome, Uncle Al. I'm looking forward to meeting all of you and your diverse skirt-tastes.

Good bless you all!

[Mipi]

Welcome!

Must say I'm feeling lonely too. Haven't seen any man in MUG beside myself in the mirror.

[tesjolts]

Welcome Juan
what kind of earrings do you wear?...When did you start wearing them?
I'd like to start wearing some myself, just want to know what reactions you got..

Tes

[Juan]

Hey, Tesjolts! Thanks for your message! I first had my left ear pierced in the early 80s. There were a lot of reactions. Basically acquaintances and relatives asking me: "Why?", "Are you gay?" (that was much more of an issue back then, at least here in South America) and they'd answer to themselves: "I guess not... gay men wear it on their right ear". Some few years later, once single earrings had become popular among young males, I decided to go for another ornament, this time on my right earlobe. As soon as I did so, I really loved the simmetry. I still don't understand how can you wear earrings in a single ear, it looks quite unbalanced to me. On the other hand, I do have two piercings in my left ear, so I wear three earrings when I feel sort of "out of balance"

Again people, who by then had got used to men wearing a single earring, would ask "Why?"... "Why are you wearing TWO earrings"... "Because I have to ears" I would answer.

I'm including a picture of myself taken some, say, ten years ago. It was shot for a publicity poster announcing a concert.

Juan earrings.jpg

So, all in all, I've been wearing my earrings for more than 20 years, every single day. I can't even imagine myself going out with my "bare" earlobes. I wouldn't be myself any more, I'd feel like "nude".

I like large earrings. Not "huge", but really visible. Large crystal studs or silver hoops (around an inch in diameter). Once in a while (not very often) I wear dangle earrings. I prefer these in pairs too, but some designs justify wearing just a single one (I counterbalance that by wearing two studs on the oher ear).

There are occasions when my regular earrings are out of the question: for work, for instance, when I have to wear a very formal tuxedo. In that case, I go for a pair of very sober teeny-weeny studs. (I've also designed some very unconventional tuxedoes, and wear them when the "dress-code" allows me to do so. With those, I just go ahead and wear whatever earrings I wish)

Reactions nowadays are nonexistant. Nobody ever (or hardly ever) mentions my earrings. Maybe they are already astonished by my flowered skirts!

[Skirt Chaser]

Juan, that red skirt is outstanding. Not only is it a loose fit that still allows you to show off your leg silhouette it also goes really well with the jacket's red lining.

[Bob]

Hi Juan, and welcome! You have some great looks there. You mentioned a concert, are you a professional musician? What kinds of outfits do you put together for concerts? I'd also love to see some of the non-traditional tuxedos you mention.

You asked if you're a cross-dresser. I'd say absolutely not. Typically, cross-dressers try to disguise themselves as a woman. That's really hard to do with a beard. You also seem to prefer tops with typical men's necklines; I believe the neckline is really important in how an outfit "reads."

Anyway, welcome again to SkirtCafe. And thank you for sharing with us all some of the great material you've managed to dig up.

[Juan]

Hey Bob! Thank you for your greeting! Yes, I am a pofessional musician: an opera singer. For an opera performance, of course, I have to wear the costume of whatever character I'm portraying, assigned to me by the production.

For concerts, I mostly have to conform to the official "tenor uniform", as I call it, which is your standard tuxedo (I have very small ear-studs to wear with that). But then, there are some "fringe" performances for which I can choose my own garments. For those, I've designed myself a couple of not-very-conventional tuxedoes (let's call them that). Too bad I don't have good pictures of those, but I'm posting the one I have, taken during a private recital:

Tuxedo.jpg

as you may see, the "jacket" has a quite particular neckline, a slit at each side, and a loose fit. The pants (not too visible in the photo), are matching wide palazzo-like trousers. I'm wearing a nice pearl-brooch instead of a tie, and studs in both ears. The shoes are not visible as the pants reach the floor, but they have moderate high heels. I've never had any problem when I wear that attire for concerts. On the contrary, I'm often complimented.

I've also designed skirted tuxedoes and other skirted male formal wear, but I've not yet actually made them. I really need longer days!

Yes, Skirt Chaser, I also love that skirt. It's an Indian skirt I bought in Perú several years ago. When it's recently washed, it wraps around your body and takes the aspect of a hobble-skirt, but, since it's elasticised, it's very confortable and lets you walk with a regular stride. It's still one of my favorites, although it's age is starting to show...

[nicothoe]

I'd have to agree with SkirtChaser, it is a pretty awesome skirt and you wear it extremely well! I love the color, length and just how it wraps around the body. I want one!!!

[Bob]

Opera singer... hey, that's pretty cool. I'm a ballet dancer myself. But you know how short that career is, and mine was even shorter than usual. Short but sweet, I suppose.

[nicothoe]

I'm a cost technician/database developer working in the project controls department of an oil refinery

* silence *

ok. so not all of us have an exciting artistic career....

[Sarongman]

Ah yes, Nicothoe, you may not be able to play an instrument or sing but you can put words together with some flair so, maybe you can write! Now oilman, as an example, have you read Paul Carter's book "Don't tell My Mum I Work on the Rigs- she thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse" ? It's a rollicking good read!

[Kris]

I'm a cost technician/database developer working in the project controls department of an oil refinery

* silence *

ok. so not all of us have an exciting artistic career....

I've known some people who worked in the cost control area who may not have been artistic, but were, shall we say, "creative".

Kris