CR please accept my apology. I will refrain from this type of speech on the Cafe. I really do not want to be banned from here because I value my membership here and have grown my wardrobe from being a part of this community for many years.
Jamie
CR please accept my apology. I will refrain from this type of speech on the Cafe. I really do not want to be banned from here because I value my membership here and have grown my wardrobe from being a part of this community for many years.
I completely agree with Barley’s post. I believe that many men would rather die than be called a Sissy. The reason is that the Man-Box Mindset has been passed down from generation to generation. I will provide a prime example that happens everyday in America. Little girls play with their brother’s trucks, football, and race cars. Parents giggle and say “look at how cute little jane is, she is a TomBoy”. On the other hand, when little Johnny plays with his sister’s dolls or makeup, the parents especially the father totally loses it and disciplines little Johnny for inappropriate behavior. Why don’t the parents instead say “look at little Johnny, he is such a cute sissy-boy or cute little jane-girl”. This is the double standard that is the root of the problem. Until this Man-Box standard changes, men in skirts will never be accepted because skirts are feminine, feminine is inferior, and it is degrading for any man to display feminine tendencies. This is the Man-Code that defines the Man-Box.Barleymower wrote: ↑Mon Apr 22, 2024 7:25 pm I agree with Jamie to a point. The same point has been made by others in the cafe and in the media: Men have boxed themselves in with the fear of being a sissy. Both men and women are keeping men boxed in, women because they say " it's a no from me" and men by being so afraid of being called a sissy. Mouse has found total freedom, so has victor and many others. I came out fighting but I'm finding it increasing difficult. My sensitivity to looks and sniggers is getting to me again. Living in Reading is not the same as London and I'm looking forward to moving away.
Where i disagree with him is his constant promoting women as superior and their ability to take what they want. I don't think theirs has been an easy road but they are reaping the benefits now after a long struggle. Women are not superior to men. Men chose to leave skirts and dresses behind. Women did not choose to leave trousers behind they were taken away. It's an important distinction.
Men are free to do as they please. If they were as tough as they say they could pick up any article of clothing and wear it if they wanted to. It's that simple and stick two fingers up at anyone who challenges them.
Almost Jamie and you are not alone with you views.jamie001 wrote: ↑Mon Apr 22, 2024 10:48 pmI completely agree with Barley’s post. I believe that many men would rather die than be called a Sissy. The reason is that the Man-Box Mindset has been passed down from generation to generation. I will provide a prime example that happens everyday in America. Little girls play with their brother’s trucks, football, and race cars. Parents giggle and say “look at how cute little jane is, she is a TomBoy”. On the other hand, when little Johnny plays with his sister’s dolls or makeup, the parents especially the father totally loses it and disciplines little Johnny for inappropriate behavior. Why don’t the parents instead say “look at little Johnny, he is such a cute sissy-boy or cute little jane-girl”. This is the double standard that is the root of the problem. Until this Man-Box standard changes, men in skirts will never be accepted because skirts are feminine, feminine is inferior, and it is degrading for any man to display feminine tendencies. This is the Man-Code that defines the Man-Box.Barleymower wrote: ↑Mon Apr 22, 2024 7:25 pm I agree with Jamie to a point. The same point has been made by others in the cafe and in the media: Men have boxed themselves in with the fear of being a sissy. Both men and women are keeping men boxed in, women because they say " it's a no from me" and men by being so afraid of being called a sissy. Mouse has found total freedom, so has victor and many others. I came out fighting but I'm finding it increasing difficult. My sensitivity to looks and sniggers is getting to me again. Living in Reading is not the same as London and I'm looking forward to moving away.
Where i disagree with him is his constant promoting women as superior and their ability to take what they want. I don't think theirs has been an easy road but they are reaping the benefits now after a long struggle. Women are not superior to men. Men chose to leave skirts and dresses behind. Women did not choose to leave trousers behind they were taken away. It's an important distinction.
Men are free to do as they please. If they were as tough as they say they could pick up any article of clothing and wear it if they wanted to. It's that simple and stick two fingers up at anyone who challenges them.
Vastly worse, I think, is the brutal de-emphasis on the Humanities and arts because of the saturation of "sports" to the exclusion of the "finer things in life". This has all sorts of knock-on consequences that likely spans the entire gamut of what the human experience is supposed to be, and further dumbs the populace down the level of farm animals.mr seamstress wrote: ↑Tue Apr 23, 2024 1:33 pmThis stereo typing what boys can wear and what toys he should play with, can be fueling the shortage of those who become nurses and doctors. To me if you take away from boy who likes to play with dolls may have the protentional of becoming a nurse or doctor. I believe all these restrictions being put on boys is hampering the medical field. If a boy play with dolls does this show how he feels about caring for others? I believe it does.
It could be. It's not often the case, though. People are generally simple-minded. People want things to stay "simple". People often think only within boxes. It's why for all the progress we've made, much of the world hasn't changed. When societal improvements are made, there's typically at least a caveat or two that undermines these developments.rivegauche wrote: ↑Tue Apr 23, 2024 7:08 pm Though there is a lot of truth in the stereotyping described here, I think reality os more nuanced.
Death threats over anything will always be extreme and distasteful, and while JK Rowling most certainly doesn't deserve such hateful speech thrown at her, she was more than just "mildly gender critical" in her tweets. And although it’s true she's responsible for the stories, the fame and money the HP cast earned can't all just be attributed to her, because we don't actually know how involved she was in the film adaptations of these stories.I genuinely believe we will get there, not least because of the massive changes in the attitudes of young people. In fact they have gone rather too far in that there are too many prepared to pour the most appalling hatred on any individual who has bee mildly gender critical. I disagree with the opinions of JK Rowling on gender but they hardly deserve death threats and the actors whose fortunes she made who have now turned on her are massively ungrateful creatures.
If there's any misogyny, it's the effect of realizing just how strongly society holds on to gender expectations, roles, and double standards. It hurts both sexes, but women have been actively trying to fight against this, and are often lauded for being subversive. It's much less frequent in men, is discouraged by much of the world, and when a man does try to establish himself outside these things, he's often derided and demonised. That's B.S., so what might be seen as "misogynistic" to you, may well just be one of us expressing our anger at the rampant hypocrisy and contradictions people exhibit. I've said this at least once before, but people are inconsistent with their own beliefs and values; it shows just unintelligent we really are as a collective species.Slowly but surely the narrow-mindedness of society is being eroded and I remain optimistic. We can lead by example - we have seen instances of misogyny on this site - let's avoid this, people. Let's be better than this.