JohnH wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2023 10:29 am
It really irks me to no end the way men have settled into the DEEP
rut of coat, tie, and trousers outfits for any formal wear. That's why I also.wear dresses for formal wear.
I attended a graveside burial ceremony wearing a black dress instead of a coat and tie outfit. Anybody familiar with summers in the Dallas-Fort Worth area knows they are brutally hot. So the heat was much more tolerable with the dress than a suit. And I.simply tossed the dress in the wash instead of having to face a dry cleaning bill for a suit. And, yes people accept my wearing of.dresses.
by rivegauche » Mon Sep 25, 2023 2:23 am
There is a fundamental difference between cultural clothing and our situation. They are NOT rocking any cultural boats - we are. If I turned up to a meeting in a kilt it would raise eyebrows but as I am Scottish it would not be a significant issue. If I turned up in a skirt or dress it would - I speak from experience. I wondered if we were being too willing to comply with others' expectations and sensitivities by comparing our clothing with skin colour. No - the huge difference is that skin colour cannot be changed. We would be criticised for the choice we made when we got dressed that day. What you wear matters, whether you think it does or not. If you want to rock the boat my suggestion is you do it on your own time or talk to HR. Wearing a skirt in your own office building is not the same as wearing one to meet clients/constituents.
John, I'm with you -- the rut is deep and the fears of treading outside of it are huge. How strange that "men" said to be so fierce, brave, and self-centered -- so, "masculine" if you will, have not got the balls to wear the clothes they wish -- even to drop the noose, never-the-less don a skirt. I confess I live in a rural region where the suit and tie culture is seldom observed and latitude is granted for of lesser means, but it is also a very 'macho' culture, and yet I have had no rebuke from wearing my skirts at funerals, churches, graduations, as board/member of community organizations, PTA type meetings, as a volunteer instructor at both private and public schools, to city council or meetings in courtrooms, quinceañeros, medical facilities, when arriving to do house/pet sitting that we do around the globe, and more. I cannot think of a single occasion when I felt my voice was not heard or was discounted, and certainly my patronage was appreciated.
I have little doubt that some, perhaps even many, think I am a bit "weird" in my sartorial options, but if you present, and if necessary, proclaim your choice respectfully to all parties as valid, your attire becomes as it should, meaningless to the substance of one's communication, talent, integrity or value. People worth their salt rise above the garb on their bodies. Yes, prejudices do exist -- I still struggle not to judge folks by tattoos, piercings and vulgar slogans on their clothes or cars -- & I mostly succeed with the first two! We all will have to choose our own comfort level with multiple cultural impositions, but when it come to "what we wear matters" -- that is true, but does it matter in a way that you should violate your own integrity to favor the perception someone else might discount your opinion or product? If you do, I"m not saying that choice is wrong, but you, and perhaps they, are saying that appearance alone is more important than what knowledge and aid either of you may bring to the table.