Wearing a Dress in Public Today

[Fred in Skirts]

What I wore to the multiplex yesterday. It was a tad chilly, so I wore a short denim jacket over it.

Looks like a winner to me. Jeff you are an inspiration to us all.

[Kilted_John]

And, since it was warm here...



Ran a few errands like this. Didn't do the garbage dump run dressed this way. For that, I added a Utilikilt and a t-shirt on top, but, soon afterward, changed out of those items into this outfit.

-J

[Rokje]

I wear a dress almost every day now. Easy peasy 1 piece garment and you are dressed. I like that a lot.

[Daryl]

I wear a dress almost every day now. Easy peasy 1 piece garment and you are dressed. I like that a lot.

That easy peasy is the best part, to me. I go through periods of time where throwing on my thawb is all I do for the day, and then I wonder why we wear anything but dresses, but I'm back to skirts eventually. I think it depends a lot on what you are doing that day, and where you do or do not want pockets, and so on. But definitely, the convenience of throwing on a dress and being ready to go, is very appealing.

One thing you generally cannot do in a dress is take your top off to catch some air if you want to. It's all or nothing!

[rivegauche]

I went supermarket shopping in the Scottish town if Elgin yesterday. Male T shirt, flared cotton skirt, bare legs and ballet flats. Then visited two boutiques in a nearby village and tried on dresses. I decided on one of the dresses and wore it out of the store. It was my first time in public as a man in a dress and it felt way more conspicuous than as man in a skirt. At one point with few people around I was within 100m of a woman I had met earlier that day in my usual male gear but I looked so different she could not have recognised me. Then went to a few more seaside villages taking pictures, usually with people milling around. At no point did I even get a second glance and the ladies who ran the shops were very nice to me. It was quite windy and the SA was concerned I would be too cold in the dress, but I loved it. Can't wait to do it again.

[weeladdie18]

It is interesting that many of us find it is a big jump from wearing a skirt to wearing a dress......perhaps this is because we wish to wear
clothes designed for the female rather than appear as a female.....in this way we wear our skirts with male clothes.....
rather than go out in a dress with a pair of Mary Janes ...as a simple example of what a female might wear.....
There is a very fine line between wearing unisex clothes and appearing as a female.....
Perhaps this is the boundary some of us do not wish to cross. ..................weeladdie

[crfriend]

It is interesting that many of us find it is a big jump from wearing a skirt to wearing a dress.

This is likely down to a few reasons, amongst them general problems actually finding one that will fit properly (men will virtually inevitably find that split-sizes are required to fit properly and those a very rare nowadays) and the the overall look is "challenging" because there is no recent historical record of dresses being worn by men -- tunics, yes, but not dresses. This frequently sets up a powerful cognitive dissonance for the guy who is experimenting.

There is a very fine line between wearing unisex clothes and appearing as a female.

Historically, the term "unisex" has had everything to do with women adopting masculine modes and nothing whatsoever to do with it going the other way. The term, therefore, is meaningless in this context.

Perhaps this is the boundary some of us do not wish to cross.

This is cognitive dissonance at work, and that's a massive hill to take. Many never will. I have a bespoke dress that looks quite good on, and is very comfortable and wonderfully simple because I don't have to worry about coordinating top and bottom; however, I still won't wear it to work, and I view that as the ultimate arbiter of whether an outfit is "worthy" or not.

[Sinned]

As Mark pointed out he thinks that I look better in a skirt and top than a dress and I tend to agree with him. In my case I think that it's due to my bigger top half and as Carl pointed out I will have difficulty getting one to fit well as well as getting a pattern or style that I would like. There are one or two in my Pics and Looks thread that I would go out in and yes, it is a big jump from skirt to dress and I applaud those of you that have managed it and look good in them. In the meantime I will stick to skirts. I have enough problem getting MOH to accept them but dresses? I think, No F*****g Way.

[oldsalt1]

I wear skirts just about any time and place from church to a ball game to a trip into the city.

I do wear dresses a great deal when I am home, they are just so darn easy. Going out in public is a different story.

I have worn them to run local errands and I did have one rather later night trip to the mall. Then except for activities with a group that are LGBTQ sensitive I haven't worn them out in public.

I have been able to find dresses that fit pretty well and do not appear overly feminine but for some reason I just can't get up the nerve to put one on and run out. I am doing the same things I did when I started wearing skirts but the progression just isn't there.

I wonder if it is the accessories that are the problem. You can't really wear a dress with socks and sneakers you need nylons and pumps. and of course there is the bag. I think the biggest hang up for me is the bag. At one of the parties I went to with the group I carried a bag, oops purse, all night I kept on dropping it and forgetting where I put and if it didn't have my keys in it would have left it .

[Kilted_John]

Re: wearing a dress with socks and sneakers, you can. There used to be a flickr photostream run by a guy in the Netherlands showing photos of women out and about in Amsterdam. Probably about 1/2 to 2/3 of the people in dresses and skirts shown were not wearing PH and heels. Didn't matter their age. Saw a few women posted who were in the 70s, yet, they were still in athletic footwear.

There's also this member here (mostly younger women): https://www.flickr.com/photos/141153353@N05/

Yes, if you're going to be wearing one in a formal situation, you might want to do nylons and formal footwear, but, casually, no, I'd have to say that it isn't necessary.

[crfriend]

Re: wearing a dress with socks and sneakers, you can. [...] Probably about 1/2 to 2/3 of the people in dresses and skirts shown were not wearing PH and heels. Didn't matter their age. Saw a few women posted who were in the 70s, yet, they were still in athletic footwear.

This started gaining serious traction in the US during the 1980s when women discovered that they could wear trainers to/from work and change into their more formal shoes once "on the premises". It looked odd at the time, and still does, especially as everything here has been dumbed down into grunge. However, "athletic" shoes on a 200-pounder remain incongruous and humorous -- yet very, very, common.

On the upside of the equation, the dual-mode offered distinct advantages such as preserving the more expensive dress shoes and making knocking about city-centres easier, so I definitely "got it" -- and I tend to do the same thing by doing the commuting bits wearing old male-marketed dress shoes and swapping them for the fancier bits once on site.

Yes, if you're going to be wearing one in a formal situation, you might want to do nylons and formal footwear, but, casually, no, I'd have to say that it isn't necessary.

Indeed, but dresses really should be viewed as slightly more formal that normal grunge like jeans, "exercise attire", and the like.

[SkirtsDad]

I loved it. Can't wait to do it again.

Congratulations rivegauche. I agree with you that it feels way more conspicuous, but I'm not sure that is really is from an observer's perspective. Obviously it depends on what you are comparing, but I know that sometimes when I used to ask my son about a particular outfit, thinking that maybe it was a bit on the 'feminine' side, he would often say that it was less feminine than many of my other outfits.

One thing about a dress, is that if usually feels so different.... dresses normally hang from the shoulders, sometimes the neck or, if you can get away with it, the chest, and that does not compare at all to having something that constricts and hangs from the waist as is the case of both trousers and skirts. I have noticed, particularly with light floaty dresses, that it feels somewhat like being naked, or at least just wearing a t-shirt. Even though the mirror tells you you are fully clothed, the senses and mind are trying to tell you that you are not.

At no point did I even get a second glance and the ladies who ran the shops

I am not surprised at all. Other than some other halves in general (and just one of mine), I can't say that I have heard of woman making negative comments about skirt cafe type clothing choices for men. I'm sure people here will educate me if it is otherwise A good example was a woman that I met yesterday in the charity shop. She was talking to the manager of the shop when I got there. I had never met her before and she saw me browsing and pick up a long top/short dress (see pic below). Instantly she said that she thought it would really suit me and the manager agreed. I went to try it on. I came out of the changing rooms to show them, wearing it over a skirt as I didn't have hot-pants. Talking to me like I had known her for ages she asked me if I could wear it as a dress, so I went and removed the skirt and came back out (carefully!!). She loved it! Her only thoughts seemed to be about the clothing and how it looked on me, not whether I was the 'right' sex/gender to be wearing it.

P1130579sc.jpg

Anyway, I was back in the charity shop today, wearing my new outfit, when a woman in her 70s came to the back door to make a donation. She smiled when she saw me and told me I looked very chic. I went to collect the bags from her car and we chatted a bit about my clothes. She remained by the car and I headed back to the shop with the bags. When I was about half way back, suddenly she wolf whistled at me I turned round and there was a big smile on her face. Seems I may have made her day.

[Sinned]

I have seen young women in floral dresses wearing Doc Martin boots as the accessory. At first the sight jarred on me as the footwear just seemed to juxtapose two elements and shatter the feminine image. I realised later that that was what it was meant to do. I also have seen dresses with trainers so more formal footwear isn't a necessity. Sometimes the contrast is refreshing.

[Kilted_John]

I have seen young women in floral dresses wearing Doc Martin boots as the accessory. At first the sight jarred on me as the footwear just seemed to juxtapose two elements and shatter the feminine image. I realised later that that was what it was meant to do. I also have seen dresses with trainers so more formal footwear isn't a necessity. Sometimes the contrast is refreshing.

Plus, sundresses aren't usually considered formal. Even before the late 1980s, when the usual office worker-style skirted outfit with nylons, white ankle socks and sneakers appeared, it was not uncommon to see women here in the PacNW wearing a sundress with trainers (or sneakers) instead of sandals. Sometimes sandals aren't appropriate footwear. It's a matter of adapting to the situation, weather-wise, and also with respect to what's needed foot-protection-wise. It also seems that in some areas of Europe, the usual t-shirt and jeans uniform that you see women wearing casually in the USA isn't worn as much.

There are a few women here in North America who don't wear trousers by choice. One of them is a woman who I sometimes deal with at one of the local camera shops. I've never seen her trousered, even though both shops she has worked at had a very casual dress code. Does she wear nylons and heels with her skirts and dresses? Nope. Typically either 8-eyelet doc martens boots, or, if she is going with a mini, she wears a pair of 20 eyelet docs with kneesocks. Only time she has been seen wearing tights (opague versions) is when she's wearing a longer skirt or when it's below 45 deg F. Everyone else is either wearing a polo shirt with the shop's logo or a buttondown dress shirt, and various trousers. Some wear jeans, some wear dockers, others wear full-on worsted wool trousers. Another woman is someone I know from flickr. A few years back, she decided to mostly wear skirts and dresses, only wearing jeans or shorts when absolutely necessary. She doesn't wear sneakers, because she thinks it's what older people wear, at least when she's not in trousered clothing, but she also doesn't usually wear heels and I've yet to see an outfit of hers over the past 9-10 years being worn with nylons. In her case, she frequently will wear a dress with a pair of kneesocks and either clogs, doc martens shoes, or sometimes, if she's going on a summer hike, a pair of hiking boots. If I remember correctly, she works for the company that makes the Blackberry cell phones in Ontario, Canada. Both women are 3-5 years younger than I am, so they tend to be less likely to follow convention.

Carl's response to my post is true in an office situation where you're expected to have at least a somewhat formal appearance while on the job, but, on a weekend, or vacation situation, a dress (or skirt) with comfortable footwear is more desired than nylons and heels, etc.

-J

[oldsalt1]

My, I would guess antiquated opinion. Dresses are a more delicate class of apparel and are meant to be worn with a more delicate type of foot wear.

A "Pretty Young Thing " can get away with wearing clunky boots etc with a delicate dress. And if as sinned says the idea is to draw attention to the conflict that's great.

But I would think that a majority of the population would still feel that delicate clothing requires delicate shoes.

That being said [in my opinion] as a man wearing a skirt and even more so for a man wearing a dress you are already breaking with convention . If you are going to wear these items without the proper accessories you are compounding the transgression.