Out and About -- In the World at Large

[Rokje]

Today my wife and I went shopping in Rotterdam. And I will be looking for skirts for me to wear. I have 4 kilts, 3 women skirts that I like to wear and 3 Unisex skirts from Skirtcraft.com.
My wife likes me wearing skirts and tights so we go out there shopping.


My english is somewhat rusty

[Caultron]

...My wife likes me wearing skirts and tights so we go out there shopping.

You're very fortunate to have such a supportive wife. What's your secret?

[Rokje]

We love each other deeply, and she has a very open mind that I like a lot. I just buy my skirts online, and when they arrive I put them on and she says OK or Not OK. Like the last online order I ordered 4 skirts, I put them on and 2 of them were good enough. 2 out of 4 is a nice score. Buying online is quite hard, because you can't feel the fabric or the fit on your body.

[Caultron]

We love each other deeply, and she has a very open mind that I like a lot. I just buy my skirts online, and when they arrive I put them on and she says OK or Not OK. Like the last online order I ordered 4 skirts, I put them on and 2 of them were good enough. 2 out of 4 is a nice score. Buying online is quite hard, because you can't feel the fabric or the fit on your body.

When buying online, free returns, including shipping, is definitely a policy to seek out.

[oldsalt1]

Hey guys sorry for rehashing this subject so much but It is big step to me and I want to share it with the cafe.

I went to another mass this morning after mass I had a meeting with our parish outreach director . Fr Frank asked me to work on a project and I was just giving my results. After I met with the director, we went up and had a discussion with FR Frank.

The boring part nothing to report, although I did notice that while we were in the meeting the director kept on looking down at my skirt. Nothing was ever said.

What made this so important was , it was not a random ballgame , shopping trip or train ride. I am establishing myself in a certain persona within the community I spend every day. I am going to see these same people tomorrow at the supermarket or bank

[Caultron]

...I am establishing myself in a certain persona within the community I spend every day. I am going to see these same people tomorrow at the supermarket or bank

Yes, after a while you get the feeling that everyone in your neighborhood has already seen you once or twice, and been OK with it, and even started expecting it.

[Daryl]

...I am establishing myself in a certain persona within the community I spend every day. I am going to see these same people tomorrow at the supermarket or bank

Yes, after a while you get the feeling that everyone in your neighborhood has already seen you once or twice, and been OK with it, and even started expecting it.

Definitely. Whenever I appear in trousers at my workplace, or with any of my closer friends, they always notice the missing skirt/kilt. Sometimes there is a long delay first then something like "hey, you're wearing pants". People do get accustomed to a norm if it is repeated enough. When I was alternating skirts and pants it never got noted but once people had only seen me in skirts for a couple of years, pants became noteworthy.

The Toronto subway system moves 2.7 million people every day, and I rode it every day for years and years. Over time I stopped getting comments (usually positive) and now I don't even get very many double-takes and other very direct reactions. Imagine that; I conditioned probably half a million people to go "meh" whenever they saw a man in a skirt!

[Daryl]

I did notice that while we were in the meeting the director kept on looking down at my skirt. Nothing was ever said.

What made this so important was , it was not a random ballgame , shopping trip or train ride. I am establishing myself in a certain persona within the community I spend every day. I am going to see these same people tomorrow at the supermarket or bank

Imagine sitting alone in a room that is not your own, say maybe an office somewhere, and a door to somewhere is left slightly open but it is dark beyond the door so you can't tell if it's a closet, another room, a stairwell, or what. It will attract your attention and if you are left alone in the room long enough you'll probably feel the need to investigate. I think skirts are a bit like that: an open door with an open question as to what lies beyond. I think that accounts for most glancing at our skirts even with people who are familiar with them. One never knows what might fly out at any moment! (hopefully not bats)

I think probably the best advice I could give is to not make a thing of your skirting in the community you want to integrate it into. Just be regular and avoid being perceived as using your skirts as a way of accomplishing anything other than wearing what you want to wear. I may be reading you wrong but I think "establishing a certain persona" is already a little too self-conscious about it. Our fellow humans have amazing radar for inauthenticity and contrivance, and I don't think you are wanting to become a blip on their screens but rather become just part of the dark background.

[Caultron]

...The Toronto subway system moves 2.7 million people every day, and I rode it every day for years and years. Over time I stopped getting comments (usually positive) and now I don't even get very many double-takes and other very direct reactions. Imagine that; I conditioned probably half a million people to go "meh" whenever they saw a man in a skirt!

That may be, but I bet another factor was your own confidence and acceptance. In order to get acceptance from others, you first need to develop self-acceptance.

[denimini]

What made this so important was , it was not a random ballgame , shopping trip or train ride. I am establishing myself in a certain persona within the community I spend every day. I am going to see these same people tomorrow at the supermarket or bank

A good strategy, soon the novelty will wear off for people seeing you in a skirt and it will be considered unremarkable. This happens quite quickly in a small community and is seems to happen exponentially, as more and more people are around to give the cue of normality to the uninitiated.

[SkirtsDad]

Oh no! Tell me it's not true!!! If I stop getting compliments whenever I go out I'll either have to find something more controversial to wear or move to somewhere they don't know me yet

Hehe.

Anyway, well done oldsalt for finally establishing yourself in the community whilst dressing against the norm. It must surely give others on a similar path hope of achieving the same. How long would you say it has probably taken from your first tentative steps outside being alternatively attired?

[oldsalt1]

I would say that it is a little over a year and a half. I may have been playing with wearing skirts a few months before but I would say my first trips out were around May of 2016 I may have made a couple of stops for gas. But that was about when I first snuck into burger king at 6 am and actually spoke to someone in a skirt

[oldsalt1]

SD you have posted a lot of outfits. My favorite was the pub outfit with the gray boots from May 28 2016

[Darryl]

Left work tonight in black shoes, black leggings with lace edge trim, a black A-line, black oxford dress shirt opened down to the 2nd button with a white turtleneck under it, and a Navy blazer.

Stopped at a Moby Dick for a fish-box and the lady taking my order probably hurt her face with that grin she had on the whole time I was there. It grew wider and brighter whenever her optical array focused in on my location.

Nice to give someone something to smile about....

[JeffB1959]

...The Toronto subway system moves 2.7 million people every day, and I rode it every day for years and years. Over time I stopped getting comments (usually positive) and now I don't even get very many double-takes and other very direct reactions. Imagine that; I conditioned probably half a million people to go "meh" whenever they saw a man in a skirt!

That may be, but I bet another factor was your own confidence and acceptance. In order to get acceptance from others, you first need to develop self-acceptance.

Agreed. If you give off a vibe or nervousness, uncertainty or furtiveness, people will pick up on that almost immediately, causing them to take notice of you, and perhaps not in a positive way. As long as you display confidence, perhaps even a shade of cockiness, like you're perfectly at home in what you're wearing like everyone else, chances are great you'll be accepted by the public for your presentation.