Do folks notice or not?

[john62]

On Saturday went and saw Skyfall after dinner in a local cafe, quite a good film better than the last James Bond film, went skirted, a cargo skirt with polo top and ankle Dr Martin boots, no comments were made and in fact did not see any reactions. Here in Australia like elsewhere there appears to be little reaction.

John

[Sinned]

Well, the idea of me wearing a skirt whilst at Butlins has been mentioned and got, what I would have classed as only a half-hearted refusal, but not a real put-down as I have had sometimes. So maybe her resistance is weakening on this. AND it was mentioned about "us all having a girlie night there" but I'm not sure if she means what I hope she means so I'll wait for some sort of elaboration in the next few days.

Also. To digress a little, last year we had a New Year's Eve party and I dressed as Freddy Mercury in the "I want to break free" video where he dresses up sort of like a woman. I even had a child's hoover. Of course, it satisfied my desire to wear a skirt in company and was in the middle of my experiment of looking like a woman. Something I have now firmly rejected. Well, last night my wife brought up the topic of this year's New Year's Eve party and was suggesting what I could dress up as. Various females were mentioned - Bratney Spears etc, etc. I deliberately kept quiet and let her make the suggestions. From these suggestions it was clear to me that she still seemed to have assumed that my skirt wearing is tied up with wanting to look like a woman even though I have many times firmly stated that I don't want to look female. Yes, I like some female things - sometimes wear ear-rings, now have long hair and sometimes wear toenail varnish. But never all at once, just depends on my mood. So the comment I made at the end of the conversation - why don't I just dress smart and wear a skirt and just come as ME? This suggestion wasn't shot down so it is still up in the air flying around ready to bite her bum so to speak. I intend to let my wife drive these topics with some encouragements and hints. Much the same tactics as my wife uses on me. It feels really good to be learning a new skill!

So my target of wearing skirts at Butlins is still on track and I've just got to decide which of my many skirts to wear. Hmmmm.

Sinned

[skirtyscot]

Fancy dress as a female character does not really help to get the notion of a man in a skirt to be taken seriously. See the many comments on this site about Hallowe'en. (But don't let that stop you if you're happy with it.)

[couyalair]

I quite agree, Skirtyscot.
It annoys me a lot that there are so many men that put on a skirt only to look (vaguely) feminine and definitely stupid. As long as the use of skirts is seen as cross-dressing or a comedy show, we are not going to progress far in making skirts mainstream for men.
I wish there were not so much cross-dressing in gay pride parades, too. It's good to see that homosexuality no longer need stay in the closet, but I can't see the connexion with high heels, wigs, outrageous falsies and excessive makeup. What's the connexion between dress and sex?

Martin

[crfriend]

I wish there were not so much cross-dressing in gay pride parades, too. It's good to see that homosexuality no longer need stay in the closet, but I can't see the connexion with high heels, wigs, outrageous falsies and excessive makeup. What's the connexion between dress and sex?

I would offer the conjecture that this has more to do with the way that homosexual males look at women than anything else. I suspect it's more about stereotype and ridicule than anything else.

[Stevie D]

I quite agree, Skirtyscot.
It annoys me a lot that there are so many men that put on a skirt only to look (vaguely) feminine and definitely stupid. As long as the use of skirts is seen as cross-dressing or a comedy show, we are not going to progress far in making skirts mainstream for men.
I wish there were not so much cross-dressing in gay pride parades, too. It's good to see that homosexuality no longer need stay in the closet, but I can't see the connexion with high heels, wigs, outrageous falsies and excessive makeup. What's the connexion between dress and sex?

I see nothing wrong in cross dressing at Pride events. On the contrary; it's fun! And on-lookers expect them to be fun and outrageous, and so do the participants. It's a chance to let your hair down and actually BE outrageous for a few hours. It's also a chance for the Trans community to do the same, especially for those who would otherwise be permanently in the closet.

I'm sure that very few spectators actually imagine that the way people (both men and women) dress at Pride events is also how they dress and behave in everyday life. It's no different from seeing people at carnivals dressed in Mickey Mouse or gorilla outfits, which we know they would not normally wear to the office, laboratory, lecture theatre, coal mine, etc. We can all tell the difference between the suspended reality and real life, I think.

What's the connexion between dress and sex?

Do you really need someone to tell you this? Just browse through the shelves or on-line sections of any lingerie store. A lot of the pretty, skimpy, lacy stuff there is designed for the single purpose of sexual arousal - to make the wearer (mostly women, but not necessarily so) feel good about themselves and desirable to their partners. It's as old and well-established as humanity itself.

[skirtingtheissue]

It annoys me a lot that there are so many men that put on a skirt only to look (vaguely) feminine and definitely stupid. As long as the use of skirts is seen as cross-dressing or a comedy show, we are not going to progress far in making skirts mainstream for men.

This effect speaks a lot about the observer. Us skirters could easily be taken by some observers as trying to look vaguely feminine, and judged to be looking "weird" or maybe even "stupid." When all we want to do is wear a skirt. In considering whether to wear a particularly feminine skirt or add other feminine touches, I think crfriend said it best when he said (somewhere) (paraphrased) that there is a tipping point for everyone, and if you go past that tipping point, you go beyond "making skirts mainstream for men" and into the territory of the crossdressing/weird/comic/bizarre.

I wish there were not so much cross-dressing in gay pride parades, too. It's good to see that homosexuality no longer need stay in the closet, but I can't see the connexion with high heels, wigs, outrageous falsies and excessive makeup.

I see nothing wrong in cross dressing at Pride events. On the contrary; it's fun! And on-lookers expect them to be fun and outrageous, and so do the participants. It's a chance to let your hair down and actually BE outrageous for a few hours. It's also a chance for the Trans community to do the same, especially for those who would otherwise be permanently in the closet.

I agree with Stevie. Those parades are the perfect place to be free to go past your "tipping point" and have fun. Or if you don't want to do that, just attend the parade in a skirt as you would attend any such public event.

[couyalair]

I've nothing against dressing up for fun.
But over-doing it (going over the border into the type of cross-dressing that is merely a mockery of women's styles) does nothing to promote our idea of skirts for men as regular non-fun clothing.
Unfortunately clowning around in stereotyped feminine clothes, wigs etc, reinforces the public misconception that both men-in-skirts and gays are effeminate or even want to be women.
And unfortunately there are times when we need to use non-fun clothing for non-fun activities. Skirts are good to wear and not only for fun.
Martin

[Sinned]

Well, I’ve decided that tomorrow night will be my first “outing”. It would have been tonight but I have toothache in a back tooth, which I am going to get fixed tomorrow, and it’s like minus 80 degrees out there (?). I don’t want to get cold in my mouth and aggravate the toothache. I was going to go to an out of town shopping centre but I just don't feel like it. Anyway, tomorrow night is late night shopping in York and I need to do some Christmas shopping. What do you get a woman that pretty much has everything? I don’t know, but my wife will be at work until 9pm so it will give me a couple of hours mooching around looking for ideas. The town will probably be packed so who will notice little me?

I will have to cycle in as parking will be non-existent. I have already picked out what to wear considering that I will be cycling and I feel comfortable with my choice. Do I feel confident? Yes, I suit a skirt and I’ve been itching to go out for weeks. Do I feel nervous? Hell, yes. Do I feel scared? No, not really. I feel remarkably calm about it.

About the New Year’s eve thing I think that what I said has been misconstrued a little. I agree that full cross-dressing doesn’t advance our cause although it can have its place in a laid back fun environment. The point I was trying to make was that my wife seems to still have a misconception, which I am going to have to patiently get rid of, that my skirt wearing is tied up with some desire of mine to dress like a woman, something that I don’t have.

Sinned

[skirtyscot]

The town will probably be packed so who will notice little me?

I will have to cycle in as parking will be non-existent. I have already picked out what to wear considering that I will be cycling and I feel comfortable with my choice. Do I feel confident? Yes, I suit a skirt and I’ve been itching to go out for weeks. Do I feel nervous? Hell, yes. Do I feel scared? No, not really. I feel remarkably calm about it.

Lots of people will notice, but hardly anyone will care. You sound like you are ready for it. I'm looking forward to your report of this big event!

[Sinned]

Well. I have just returned from my first excursion. To say that it was an anticlimax is an understatement! I didn’t cycle into town as planned as it was p*ss*ng it down and was so cold. It would also have been difficult to explain a wet coat in the hall when I wasn’t supposed to be going out! I did wear two fleece tops and two skirts – a cotton one as a slip and a longer denim one, all to keep warm. I drove to the out of town shopping centre that I was thinking of going to yesterday. I drove there and felt calm but apprehensive. I got out of the car and walked to W H Smiths ( a bookstore for those who don’t know ) and spent about a half hour in there. I walked all over the store and chose a Christmas card for my wife and some books. The cashier probably wouldn’t have noticed as her counter was quite high but one strange thing happened. As I was at the counter the cashier called for another cashier as a queue was forming. Suddenly a couple of folks in the queue headed ( stampeded? ) for the self service checkouts. Was I being paranoid? She commented on it and I beckoned her forward and said “Maybe it’s because I’m wearing a skirt?” She just laughed and said “Really?” Strike one.

I looked around Boots but I couldn’t see anything that I wanted to buy. Strike two.

I then went into Poundland ( a store that sells all sorts of things at one price - £1 ) and looked at a book. A woman next to me chose the same book and, in turning round, bumped into me and we had a short conversation. Strike three.

Lastly I went into ASDA for about a half hour and perused the clothes and books and other things but didn’t buy anything. Strike four.

Impressions. Whilst out, I tried to look confident and act as if this was perfectly normal. I did detect one or two looks but nothing that appeared malicious. No whisperings from kids or anything like that. I kept an eye on people I passed and, as has been said before on this site, I think that people were so wrapped up in their own concerns on a cold and rainy night that they didn’t even notice. I think that unless I had walked down the walkway stark naked they wouldn’t have seen me – just another body out. Certainly the woman I talked to in Poundland acted normally.

Now that’s out of the way I just need to convince my wife that it’s no big deal.

Sinned

[Sarongman]

Great news Sinned! Best of luck with your wife, mine still thinks I'm mad but happily goes out with me--- ther's hope yet

[knickerless]

I have been out skirted in York several times including an afternoon in the museum - never had any comment.

[Since1982]

This time of year the tourists start to ask ??'s as to "WHY" are you wearing a skirt, Sir? To which I usually answer, depending on their attitude, "A what?" or "It's more comfortable than trousers and since I don't own any horses, motorcycles or split crotch devices of any kind, I see no reason to be uncomfortable. A skirt is loose and very comfortable for me and that's my main reason, I hope it works for you.

[skirtingtoday]

Well done Sinned! Now you know that the real problem is not in other people say and do but it was simply your own ghosts talking to you.

Yes the whole thing is really a big anticlimax! If you are confident, there IS no big deal.

I wish you luck with your wife - they tend to be the harshest critics.