Great experiences!

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.

Great experiences!

Postby Rocketdawg » Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:53 am

Hi all. I'm a newbie, married and 55 in the midwest. I've enjoyed dressing up ocasionally as a woman for the past 30 years for Halloween. What I've always been told is that I have a great body and better legs than many women, a nice compliment for sure @ 220 lbs. I don't mind showing it off. I started wearing manly looking skirts in public this past August. Most of the time if I go to a mall I get a passing glance or a double take from both guys and gals. I've never had any bad comments or laughter. When I go out to a nightclub or bar I get many compliments from women as well as men saying they wish they had the balls to do it.
I've been married 36 years and if my wife knew she would leave. Fortunately I have a sales job that takes me places where I can wear skirts in public without issue of running into someone I know. Today was the first day I wore suntan pantyhose with a distressed denim mini-skirt, a nice t-shirt, a brown jean jacket and cap, and brown hiker boots. I stopped at many convenience stores, a large shopping mall, and a few bars on the way home. Again I had no negative comments or displays but some double-takes from gals and guys and a great time at the bars with the gals wondering if I shaved my legs for this, I did,. I don't think I'll ever be able to wear a skirt around someone I know for fear of being totally laughed at and my wife leaving me but this experience has left me feeling like it's about time for this to become mainstream! SKIRT ON!
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Sinned » Wed Sep 20, 2017 7:50 am

Rocketdawg, first of all welcome to the Cafe. It's so liberating being able to wear a dress or skirt whenever you want. MOH does know that I wear skirts and in general falls into the don't approve category. Most often she says nothing and other times moans about me wearing skirts ALL the time, which I don't. I have only ever wanted to incorporate skirts into my wardrobe not completely replace trousers. Only you know your wife enough to know how she'll react but sometimes they do surprise us. It sounds as if the kilt route may be the way for you but you would have to think of a good reason to buy such an expensive garment never mind why you would want to wear one. It's a shame that some of us have to virtually lead double lives just because of a piece of material. Anyway good luck for the future, catch up on some of the threads that interest you and contribute sometimes as it's the only indication we have that you even visit this site.
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Rocketdawg » Wed Sep 20, 2017 1:31 pm

Thanks! I do have one skirt that looks like a real kilt. It's heavy knit, pleated black/white plaid, just above the knee. I wear it with black knee high socks. Every one asks about my "KILT".
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby moonshadow » Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:57 pm

Welcome to the board Rocketdawg! I love your username by the way, it's sounds very fun!

I'm glad you're having a good time, however I'd be wary of the secrecy. People have a way of finding out, even across vast distances. If I were you, I'd be scheming a way to out this to the wife asap. You'd hate for her to find out ten years from now, and discover this long held "secret". That might make it worse.

Maybe "feel her out" a little on the subject of men in skirts. There are numerous news articles pertaining to men wearing skirts, (see the News and Advocacy section). Pull an external article one day, bring it up to the wife and see how she feels about it. If she's receptive to the idea then go from there. If she shuts it down pretty fast, then again, decide from that point.

If she shoots it down, you might ask her "why?" Let the conversation evolve and see where it goes. It might not be as bad as you think! Members here have had mixed results. Some supportive, some not so much. Remember the "ace in the hole"... WOMEN CAN WEAR TROUSERS!

Now if your wife wears skirts and dresses exclusively, especially for religious reasons, then the ace described above is a dud and probably won't get you far... In that case, I'd say you're pretty well screwed.

Good luck!
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Grok » Wed Sep 20, 2017 8:15 pm

Yeah, I like his username too. :mrgreen:
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Darryl » Wed Sep 20, 2017 8:34 pm

Rocketdawg: A thought.

You dress up for Halloween? OK, are there any Renaissance Fairs or Celtic Festivals or Highland Games events within easy distance of home? We have plenty of good clean family fun, music, plays and the like at our local events. And...it's a perfect excuse to go in period costume....

Kilts? Check Stillwater Kilts. Thrifty Kilts $30, Economy Kilts $50, Standard Kilts $90 and Wool Kilts $150. I have 3 of the Standard kilts for church and formal events, and 3 of the Thrifty kilts for everyday wear.

If musically inclined, are there any pipe and drum groups around you might join?

Scottish events, Irish events, Welsh events...parades, festivals, dances...one might fabricate a number of excuses here and there....

And if you can persuade her to join in the fun..."Lady Goldpeak" or something.....
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Rocketdawg » Thu Sep 21, 2017 12:11 am

Thanks for the advise all. A few years ago my wife caught me wearing a denim skirt I made out of my ripped out cutoffs. It wasn't good to say the least. I have gotten her to accept me wearing leggings with a long top in public and with friends showing up at our home. It took 3 years! I live in them nearly 24/7. This however will not sit well as she deems it GAY. I know that I am not GAY! Nothing wrong with it at all, I'm just not. I don't need to cross dress either, just want to wear something other than those God aweful shorts that popped up in the 90's. I hem my shorts to about 5"-7" as my legs are slightly short for my body.
It was a new day today with a new ensemble. Stopped at buffet in a small town with 30 people watching me get up to load my plate. Some smiles, extra attention from the waitress and cashier! Half of the group were construction guys.
Great Experience!!
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby crfriend » Thu Sep 21, 2017 12:37 am

Meaning precisely no disrespect whatsoever, I'd advise ditching the secretive behaviour. Somehow, sometime, your wife will get wind of things (or discover them in the laundry) and the jig will be up. If everything is open, up front, and it's not a threat to her that's entirely likely the best course.
Rocketdawg wrote:A few years ago my wife caught me wearing a denim skirt I made out of my ripped out cutoffs. It wasn't good to say the least. I have gotten her to accept me wearing leggings with a long top in public and with friends showing up at our home. It took 3 years!

I'd say that "leggings with a long top" is actually worse than an outright skirt. The look may not be as "in your face" as a skirt, but positively screams " '80s fashion victim!" Essentially what you're putting together with that "look" is a very short dress with entirely awkward tights that have a nasty break at the ankle -- an entirely ungraceful combination. I've got no idea why she tolerates it, unless she knows in her heart of hearts she's never wear such a rig.
This however will not sit well as she deems it GAY.

It's not. Full stop.

What we garb ourselves in actually has very little to do with what our sexuality is. It's likely more down to what our own personal sense of style is, what we think may look good one us, and what we like wearing. The sooner we can disabuse the detractors on the sexuality side of things the better. (Note that "GAY" tends to be used as a catchphrase for anything that an observer cannot immediately get his head around.)
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Mike » Thu Sep 21, 2017 11:15 am

I was at a bar once, shorts and suntan pantyhose on, wife sitting next to me, and a guy asked me if I was gay. I said, "What, because of the pantyhose?" He affirmed, I said, "No, but I have a gay friend and he has a shirt exactly like yours." He got the point.
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Rocketdawg » Thu Sep 21, 2017 12:10 pm

:lol: I have to remember that one!
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Caultron » Thu Sep 21, 2017 4:05 pm

Mike wrote:I was at a bar once, shorts and suntan pantyhose on, wife sitting next to me, and a guy asked me if I was gay. I said, "What, because of the pantyhose?" He affirmed, I said, "No, but I have a gay friend and he has a shirt exactly like yours." He got the point.

Good one.
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Sinned » Thu Sep 21, 2017 6:13 pm

Although MOH hates me wearing a skirt out of the house she KNOWS that I do so but prefers, in her mind, to ignore it - I think because it's out of sight out of mind and it's a situation she has no control over as she's not physically present. I decided right form the start not to be secretive as that implies a sense of dishonesty. I do though try and advance things by baby steps and she soon tells me when I have taken too big a step but I can do things now that I wasn't able to do even a year ago. So the advice is good even though it really is hard to broach the subject. My main problem with MOH is that I ask her to research the topic but she consistently refuses to do so. Another aspect is that her reaction, as MOH's is, is likely to be emotional and no amount of logical reasoning will ever make a dent in that.
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby skirted_in_SF » Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:46 am

Mike wrote:I was at a bar once, shorts and suntan pantyhose on, wife sitting next to me, and a guy asked me if I was gay. I said, "What, because of the pantyhose?" He affirmed, I said, "No, but I have a gay friend and he has a shirt exactly like yours." He got the point.


Good reply. I've never been confronted but would like to borrow your response modified as follows: "No, but I used to have a lesbian co-worker who had a shirt like yours."
I worked for about 15 years with a male dressing lesbian complete with buzz haircut. It was an interesting office to work in. My last boss, who was a very straight Mormon and also wore his hair short (but not as short as my co-worker), would ask her what number clippers she was using to get the fade look she sported. He was only my boss the last three or so years I worked and lived without comment with my colored nails and occasional skirt wearing on Fridays.
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby jmiller842 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 4:31 pm

Hi Rocketdawg. Your story and mine are almost identical. Age 55, 34 years married, and my wife would absolutely freak out if she knew I wore skirts. I too get to travel a bit for work and that's when I have the opportunity to wear skirts. The general consensus of the forum is not to keep it a secret. And to some extent I agree. I hate keeping secrets. And someday I may face the music. But until then, I will enjoy my indulgence solo. We know our wives best, and have to walk that fine knife edge. But for now, do what makes you happy. Happiness is a fleeting wind and you have to grab it when you can. You''ll get lots of good advice on this forum and will learn tons from the shared experiences. It's a journey. Enjoy the ride. I'm open to PM'ing if you want to share thoughts.

Jeff
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Re: Great experiences!

Postby Rocketdawg » Wed Oct 11, 2017 12:16 am

Thanks Jeff! It's been getting cool here so I've been having fun putting some outfits together with a skirt over leggings.
I try to make it less Femme. I take the idea of that yes women wear pants but they have their own twist to it to make it look more femme than what us guys wear. So I'm taking the skirt and make it less femme and pair it with some good looking shirts, jackets, leggings and boots. I've learned that it's about accessories that help tie it all together. I like to wear a black leather studded belt around the top of the skirt with a wallet chain hanging on one side. Again, not something the gals would wear. I tend to be a little avantgard with my looks. I've come up with some pretty good-looking outfits that rock in my opinion. And I don't look the least like I'm trying to cross-dress which I am not. I have visited a few bars dressed this way and after the initial shock of figuring out that I'm wearing a skirt I get lots of attention and conversation from both straight men and women. More than once I have gotten comments from straight guys saying they wish they had the balls to do it and they would wear a skirt in public too. Gals have commented that I wear the look well. I guess it's all a confidence-booster. It makes me want to be able to wear what I want, when I want, and where I want within the constraints of the moment. Great experiences!
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