Hail to the Handbag!

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.

Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby denimini » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:35 am

moonshadow wrote:I have a purse, and I have no hangups on calling it that.. It's actually somewhat special to me (you see it on me in virtually all of my photos), as it was a gift, or rather a "hand me down" from my wife.

The little purse I still use was one that Heather and I use to share, which she named Percy, hence: "remember to take Percy with you"

moonshadow wrote:for some reason the seats in her car push my wallet into my backside when driving. This was a constant problem during my trouser days with back aches.

A wallet, (Wally), is uncomfortable in any pocket, if they are big enough to hold one, although some cargo skirts I have will fit one OK and as the skirt is not held tight against the leg it is not too bad.
JeffB1959 wrote:In response to denimini, here's a few of my bags:

That is a good selection of bags! I quite like the 2nd one and the blue one in size and shape. The only problem with me having more than one is that I would surely arrive at the shops 200km away with an empty one.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby crfriend » Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:30 pm

That is quite the collection of bags, Jeff! Wow.

I may have to carry one of my three today as there's a good chance there'll be no handy pockets.

To the notion of a wallet causing physical distress from being sat upon, the answer to that is to carry it in one's front pocket. Aside from being more comfortable when sitting for long periods (and which can throw one's back out) it's more difficult for a pickpocket to grab it from a front pocket than from the rear. This was a trick I picked up from when I was working in Boston a lot of the time with much of that spent on mass transit of various forms. If I'm carrying it now in a pocket, it'll be in a shirt pocket and covered by my waistcoat and would be almost impossible to grab without seriously hassling me.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby Sinned » Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:02 pm

denimini, Percy was also a nickname for a penis. Not that you would forget to take that with you. :lol:

I have three or four actual women's purses that I use from time to time. I find them much better for holding coins, notes and cards. I haven't found a handbag yet that I would be psychologically comfortable carrying. When I do I'll use it.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby JohnH » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:54 pm

Putting things in shirt pockets works only if you're flat-chested. Otherwise it doesn't look good.

I use a crossbody bag so to keep my hands free. I also keep the compartment containing my wallet zippered shut.

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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby crfriend » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:49 am

JohnH wrote:Putting things in shirt pockets works only if you're flat-chested. Otherwise it doesn't look good.

Point taken.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby shawnk » Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:38 pm

I'm a big fan of carrying a bag/purse/whatever you want to call it. It's just so practical. I hate sitting on a wallet and I hate carrying stuff around in pockets so a bag works great. I have a smallish messenger bag that works really well, and a smaller purse if I don't want to carry too much or something that large.

Like skirts, I hate the idea that this item is associated with gender. It's just a bag!

Have any of you experienced discrimination as a male carrying a bag? I have asked to store mine in a locker in museums when women have not. Most infuriating was being turned away at Boston Garden. I ended up giving my bag to a female friend and she wasn't hassled. Their policy actually calls out "women's bags" (http://www.tdgarden.com/td-garden-policies/). I will never return there.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby crfriend » Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:18 am

[quote="shawnk"Most infuriating was being turned away at Boston Garden. I ended up giving my bag to a female friend and she wasn't hassled. Their policy actually calls out "women's bags" (http://www.tdgarden.com/td-garden-policies/). I will never return there.[/quote]
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby JohnH » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:29 am

shawnk wrote:Have any of you experienced discrimination as a male carrying a bag? I have asked to store mine in a locker in museums when women have not. Most infuriating was being turned away at Boston Garden. I ended up giving my bag to a female friend and she wasn't hassled. Their policy actually calls out "women's bags" (http://www.tdgarden.com/td-garden-policies/). I will never return there.


I guess if I knew I was going to experience the discrimination of a male carrying a bag I guess I would have to dress in such a way to pass as a woman, something that would be easy for me except for my voice.

I guess the reason men don't typically carry purses because at one time men wore jackets that had a lot of pockets.

This discrimination could be a target for justifiable lawsuits.

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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby kingfish » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:24 am

shawnk wrote:I'm a big fan of carrying a bag/purse/whatever you want to call it. It's just so practical. I hate sitting on a wallet and I hate carrying stuff around in pockets so a bag works great. I have a smallish messenger bag that works really well, and a smaller purse if I don't want to carry too much or something that large.

Like skirts, I hate the idea that this item is associated with gender. It's just a bag!

Have any of you experienced discrimination as a male carrying a bag? I have asked to store mine in a locker in museums when women have not. Most infuriating was being turned away at Boston Garden. I ended up giving my bag to a female friend and she wasn't hassled. Their policy actually calls out "women's bags" (http://www.tdgarden.com/td-garden-policies/). I will never return there.


Wow,

I didn't have that problem when I saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers there last month. I was actually surprised when security didn't do a thorough search of the fanny pack I was using as a handbag at the time (the dress I was wearing had no pockets). The bag has a CCW compartment big enough to hold a 45 and the security drone totally missed it. (it wasn't in there in any case) Of course maybe it was just because of the type of event. It's even a non-smoking venue and I swear a good couple percent of the audience blazed up their favorite blend of "mother nature" during the show.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby moonshadow » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:08 am

shawnk wrote:Have any of you experienced discrimination as a male carrying a bag? I have asked to store mine in a locker in museums when women have not. Most infuriating was being turned away at Boston Garden. I ended up giving my bag to a female friend and she wasn't hassled. Their policy actually calls out "women's bags" (http://www.tdgarden.com/td-garden-policies/). I will never return there.


I'm curious, were you wearing a skirt or dress when this incident occurred?

I've actually received some very odd and vexing stares when I carry my purse while wearing trousers. However when wearing a skirt or dress, it seems people don't notice it as much. Perhaps the skirt is hogging all the attention, I don't know.

At any rate, I'm not sure how I would have handled your incident. I guess like you, I just wouldn't go back. However I'm not sure I would have went in in the first place, but I guess you had prepaid tickets.

Going to major attractions like that really isn't my thing... so I doubt I'd live your experience any time soon. I do remember when I first started carrying a purse, I was worried that retail stores would make me leave it at the register before shopping. I know a lot of places around here require that of book bags for obvious reasons. My purse is relatively small so I have yet to run into a problem. I'm sure if I were to use some larger bags, similar to what Jeff B carries, I might be a little concerned.

I'm not a legal expert, but it seems this type of behavior should be illegal. It almost seems like discriminatory profiling to me. They're basically saying "we trust women, but not men". As a retail worker of many years, I can tell you that women steal every bit as much as men! We catch them all the time on the cameras.

Now if they make EVERYBODY leave their purses at a secure location, than I can go along with that because it's fair, but aside from that.. no way!

I've had a few light hearted discussions with checkers and retail workers regarding the possibility of me shoplifting something.

"Oh, I think if I were to try to lift something I'd be pretty easy to run down... I mean really, how many guys in dresses are roaming around town anyway? :lol: "

In fact, I've had clothing retails let me slide on the garment limit in fitting rooms because they just smile at me and say "oh I think you'll be fine"... :wink:

I mean really... they could just put out a B.O.L on Channel 5 for the skirt wearing man in the area... I mean... come on.. I'm like.. the only one in the entire region! :P
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby Judah14 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:03 am

moonshadow wrote:
I'm curious, were you wearing a skirt or dress when this incident occurred?

I've actually received some very odd and vexing stares when I carry my purse while wearing trousers. However when wearing a skirt or dress, it seems people don't notice it as much. Perhaps the skirt is hogging all the attention, I don't know.

At any rate, I'm not sure how I would have handled your incident. I guess like you, I just wouldn't go back. However I'm not sure I would have went in in the first place, but I guess you had prepaid tickets.

Going to major attractions like that really isn't my thing... so I doubt I'd live your experience any time soon. I do remember when I first started carrying a purse, I was worried that retail stores would make me leave it at the register before shopping. I know a lot of places around here require that of book bags for obvious reasons. My purse is relatively small so I have yet to run into a problem. I'm sure if I were to use some larger bags, similar to what Jeff B carries, I might be a little concerned.

I'm not a legal expert, but it seems this type of behavior should be illegal. It almost seems like discriminatory profiling to me. They're basically saying "we trust women, but not men". As a retail worker of many years, I can tell you that women steal every bit as much as men! We catch them all the time on the cameras.

Now if they make EVERYBODY leave their purses at a secure location, than I can go along with that because it's fair, but aside from that.. no way!

I've had a few light hearted discussions with checkers and retail workers regarding the possibility of me shoplifting something.

"Oh, I think if I were to try to lift something I'd be pretty easy to run down... I mean really, how many guys in dresses are roaming around town anyway? :lol: "

In fact, I've had clothing retails let me slide on the garment limit in fitting rooms because they just smile at me and say "oh I think you'll be fine"... :wink:

I mean really... they could just put out a B.O.L on Channel 5 for the skirt wearing man in the area... I mean... come on.. I'm like.. the only one in the entire region! :P

That's why package inspections and package counters (where you leave any bulky items you are carrying) are standard at grocery stores in the Philippines.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby Daryl » Wed Mar 15, 2017 8:53 am

Wow, this topic caught fire. I've carried a bag with me most of my life because I was always the fixit guy and needed something for tools. I also wanted my hands free so every bag, usually heavy canvas army surplus things, had a long strap so I could sling it across my body. I've had too many to count and eventually just started calling any bag I was carrying a "purse" because I was using it for everything, pretty much. The word "purse" is female associated but like "skirt" (which a hovercraft can have for pity's sake) doesn't mean women's item, and I stand by that. Purses are prizes at races, as well, so there is room to neuter the word.

My current purse is a Pacsafe anti-theft shoulder bag. I have two, black for winter and olive (apparently no longer available) for summer. I can get all my usual crap in there and still have room for a camcorder, recording mic and batteries. http://www.pacsafe.com/metrosafe-ls200.html

To me a "bag" is not simply an unfeminine purse but also less personal. You might put groceries in a bag but your gold will go in your purse. Tote bags are bags. Purses have pockets and flaps and stuff.

Not such a big deal, a distinction like that, but I became more conscious of it when people close to me on a few occasions said something like "don't forget to bring your ____" and stuttered a bit because the word that came to mind quickly was "purse". It was clear they were uncomfortable for nearly insulting a man by using a feminine association, and they reached for terms like "handbag", "bag" and "what do you call that thing". People that know me well enough will call it a purse but mostly it still feels more comfortable for them to call it a bag. Even my wife does that sometimes, and she calls her exactly identical Pacsafe her purse. The world, she is weird, I tell ya.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby shawnk » Wed Mar 15, 2017 9:55 pm

moonshadow wrote:
shawnk wrote:Have any of you experienced discrimination as a male carrying a bag? I have asked to store mine in a locker in museums when women have not. Most infuriating was being turned away at Boston Garden. I ended up giving my bag to a female friend and she wasn't hassled. Their policy actually calls out "women's bags" (http://www.tdgarden.com/td-garden-policies/). I will never return there.


moonshadow wrote:I'm curious, were you wearing a skirt or dress when this incident occurred?


I was not.

moonshadow wrote:I'm not a legal expert, but it seems this type of behavior should be illegal. It almost seems like discriminatory profiling to me. They're basically saying "we trust women, but not men". As a retail worker of many years, I can tell you that women steal every bit as much as men! We catch them all the time on the cameras


I didn't want to push it. It's a private venue, and I don't see how people would have sympathy for a male in this situation. If it were a female, it would be front page news. Men don't rate as "victims" of anything. I just won't go back. I wrote to them and never got a reply. Just really annoys me.

moonshadow wrote:Now if they make EVERYBODY leave their purses at a secure location, than I can go along with that because it's fair, but aside from that.. no way!


I totally agree! Treat everyone the same or no one. Once I was questioned about "what I have in the bag" when going into a museum and I said, quite snottily, "do you ask women that question?"

Also once I was not allowed to bring a small camera bag into a historical site. I asked if they were prohibiting women from carrying bags and the person said "that's different". I take from these kinds of encounters that what men want doesn't matter.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby Happy-N-Skirts » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:35 pm

I have been carrying a "manly" camouflage shoulder bag with velcro pockets for cell phone, credit card case, and pill case for years. There are two compartments for wallet, check book, hanky, hand sanitizer and most of the time I bring a water bottle, especially in the climate we live in (desert).

I have never been bothered by anyone except to compliment it and / or ask where I bought it, until last weekend. We were at an annual weekend meeting of an explorer group we belong to, and a man made an irritating comment about my "purse", and the next day he made a comment and gesture about squeezing my behind, insinuating my shoulder bag as making me look effeminate (or he admired my butt). His first comment was not amusing so I brushed it off, but the second one the next day was insulting. He is also a member of the organization. I was ready with an answer to the first comment, which was to say I don't like having too much stuff in my pockets. My reply to the second one was that sitting on a wallet was like sitting on a potato. I should probably expect him to say something else the next time we meet, which will be at a meeting. I will think up a snappy answer to his cloddy attitude.
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Re: Hail to the Handbag!

Postby moonshadow » Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:57 am

shawnk wrote:Also once I was not allowed to bring a small camera bag into a historical site. I asked if they were prohibiting women from carrying bags and the person said "that's different". I take from these kinds of encounters that what men want doesn't matter.


What's odd here is you actually experience the kind of crap I always rant about the possibility of happening... and yet never does, and I live in the south. You on the other hand live in from what all appearances (elsewhere in the nation) is a "blue state" (progressive), and seem to run into quite a bit of trouble.

Perhaps I should have taken Carl at his word about the puritan nature of Massachusetts. I would have never believed it.

I even took my purse into a movie theater once without incident. Granted I was wearing a skirt which may have helped, but still... If they had tried to make me leave it at the door, then I would be forced to tell them, that I must now carry my cash and ID in my hand, as the skirt lacked pockets, hence my reason for the purse. Either that or leave my personal belongings in the care of some 16 year old theater worker. In any event, they would be taking legal responsibility for my belongings, and a complete accounting of everything in the purse, right down to the dust balls would be taken with an assigned value on each item. They would sign off on it and if anything turns up missing they will pay the full replacement cost.

NOPE!

All that being said, the fact that you were in trousers might have made it worse. It's like the skirt makes it "legit" for some reason. People are idiots.

shawnk wrote:I wrote to them and never got a reply. Just really annoys me.

Been there, done that, haven't spent a dime in a Cato yet.... The hippie stores are fine with it though, and that's okay with me, I'd rather give my money to a smaller locally owned business anyway.

shawnk wrote:Once I was questioned about "what I have in the bag"
I would have asked her to show me hers first.

Happy-N-Skirts wrote:I have never been bothered by anyone except to compliment it and / or ask where I bought it, until last weekend. We were at an annual weekend meeting of an explorer group we belong to, and a man made an irritating comment about my "purse", and the next day he made a comment and gesture about squeezing my behind, insinuating my shoulder bag as making me look effeminate (or he admired my butt). His first comment was not amusing so I brushed it off, but the second one the next day was insulting. He is also a member of the organization. I was ready with an answer to the first comment, which was to say I don't like having too much stuff in my pockets. My reply to the second one was that sitting on a wallet was like sitting on a potato. I should probably expect him to say something else the next time we meet, which will be at a meeting. I will think up a snappy answer to his cloddy attitude.

That man sounds like a very sexist ass. There is much about his behavior I find disturbing. Not just the comment about the purse, but the one about grabbing your butt. He clearly has no respect for you, or women. He's probably the type who slaps the butt of the waitress after he places his order in diners.

MEN LIKE THAT ARE WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!
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