Why do we really wear skirts?

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Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby theskirted1 » Sun Jan 29, 2012 5:05 pm

I'm a new Member and simply want to start a discussion and maybe get some interesting feedback on why certain of us men have an enduring desire to wear skirts. I am 100% Hetrosexual and have no desire to either look like or become a woman, but since as early as 9 or 10 years old I have had an enduring prediliction to wearing a skirt. I have tried continuosly to intellectualise it and am basically very comfortable with it, despite never having the guts to go out in public - but that's mostly because I live in a small conservative rural community whom I know wouldn't be open-minded about it.

What I'm interested to hear from others is how they've reconciled their 'maleness' with their love of wearing skirts? My personal thoughts are mixed; on the one hand I can 'justify' it to myself as it just being another form of comfortable clothing which shouldn't be the sole preserve of women (look at the Hstory of clothing for example), plus as a Scot I am given the rare privelege of being able to 'get away' with wearing one (a Kilt of course!) in public.

However, there's something about women's skirts, as opposed to men's kilts, that is very different - they not only look different but feel different, and elicit feelings and emotions which are polar opposites to those you get wearing a kilt, and this is the area that I am intrigued by.

Let me explain. I have come to believe that, for me anyway, there are two parts to a man - the traditional 'masculine' side, where societal pressure is for them to be strong, stoic and always practical, and the other, often hidden or suppressed 'feminine' side, which is tactile, soft and emotive. Wearing a kilt brings out the masculine in me very much - you feel 10 feet high and six feet wide wearing one and ready to take on anyone who crosses you (probably why Highland warriors wore them!). Putting on a skirt, however, ilicits the opposite effect. Having looked at the instances I have wanted to wear them I realise its often when I feel under stress from work or similar situations where you have to 'put up a face' and be strong or aggressive, and to be honest I want to escape from that constant pressure at the end of the day and feel totally the opposite.

Some people do ths by using drink or drugs and I am no exception, but they don't ever give you that warm, comfortable and natural 'escape from reality' that you get from wearing a skirt - does anyone else ever feel like this?

The other thing is in sorting out the associated sexual feelings with it. I know this Forum doesn't discuss overtly sexual things, but suffice to say I'm convinced most, if not every, skirt wearing man does get certain feelings associated with wearing them - a kind of vulnerability/femininity. Do you agre, or is it just me??! Enough said for now - let me know what you all think to this!
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby couyalair » Sun Jan 29, 2012 6:36 pm

Can't say I ever felt feminine in any way wearing a skirt. Do women feel virile when wearing trousers?

I've often been asked the question "why the skirt?" and usually give the same reply : "Cause they won't let me roam the streets naked (-- and the weather is a bit chilly today anyway)."

I'm not claiming to be 100% macho (as some men try to do) and can be very soft and sentimental; I loved bringing up the kids when they were small, and prefer to keep any latent aggressiveness well under control.
But none of that is affected by the clothes i'm wearing, that's for sure.

Martin
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby crfriend » Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:19 pm

theskirted1 wrote:I'm a new Member and simply want to start a discussion and maybe get some interesting feedback on why certain of us men have an enduring desire to wear skirts. I am 100% Hetrosexual and have no desire to either look like or become a woman, but since as early as 9 or 10 years old I have had an enduring prediliction to wearing a skirt. I have tried continuosly to intellectualise it and am basically very comfortable with it, despite never having the guts to go out in public - but that's mostly because I live in a small conservative rural community whom I know wouldn't be open-minded about it.

From my own perspective I can offer the following observations:

1) During childhood curiosity runs rampant, and skirts, from the get-go, are forbidden to little boys and this intensifies that curiosity.
2) During adolescence, hormones run wild and everything gets sexualised -- and this includes clothing (from a guy's perspective) that "symbolises" the opposite sex.
3) Skirts are very comfortable garments indeed, and once one gets over the assorted sexual hangups about them actually do work well on guys. However, getting over those hangups can be a fairly large hill to climb. Some never get over it, and likely some who do may get disappointed when the "rush" of blatantly breaking with convention fades.

From the above, it may be discerned that we've been essentially "programmed" by way of the Law Of Unintended Consequences to be fascinated by skirts, and yet, also by programming, ashamed of our curiosity. This is the classic "lose-lose" scenario. Couple the very real (from this author's perspective) conflict in that lose-lose scenario to the omnipresent mandate that "Men Must be MEN!" (whatever that means) and the fundamental conflict should be obvious -- glaring, really.

What I'm interested to hear from others is how they've reconciled their 'maleness' with their love of wearing skirts?

The sarcastic approach to this is to simply "man up" and assert one's right to wear a skirt in public if one wants to. After all, it's not illegal in most jurisdictions so, logic dictates that it must be a personal choice. There's the age-old (at least in Internet terms) adage that "It takes balls to wear a skirt.", and that's in many ways true, for by doing so one is thumbing one's nose at a whole lot of inertia, herd-mentality, and misconception. It's not for the timid.

However, there's something about women's skirts, as opposed to men's kilts, that is very different - they not only look different but feel different, and elicit feelings and emotions which are polar opposites to those you get wearing a kilt, and this is the area that I am intrigued by.

Well, there are a a few items in play with this observation, but the most basic ones can be boiled down to different fabrics and different cuts. Guys are expected to put up with stiff heavy "utilitarian" fabrics like denim and cotton duck; the gals get fabrics like silks and linens with an occasional flourish of lace. The contrast between those is that of night and day. The difference between a pair of Dockers and a silk skirt cannot be described -- it must be experienced. Ditto, wool. The cut of a garment, and how it hangs and flows when in motion or in a breeze, also affects -- dramatically -- the sensation that one gets from it. With trousers, they're "with you" all the time; a skirt, on the other hand, moves on its own, sometimes independently from the wearer. Taken in combination, it's easy to understand why there may be an emotional response from even the most insensitive of blokes.

The other aspect of this is that most guys are expected to suppress their emotions, at least in public. Personally, I find this unfortunate, and may explain why the only "emotion" that altogether-too-many guys can express is aggression. In many ways, this puts men into a "second-class citizen" role, which is very unfortunate indeed. As an aside, in addition to laughing in public (acceptable for men, so long as the joke was sufficiently bawdy of off-colour) I have been known to cry. It happens, sometimes for odd reasons, just as it does for the gals, and I do not try to suppress it, nor do I make apologies for it. If an observer may think less of me for that, I simply do not care.

Interestingly (or perhaps not), I am precisely the same individual in a skirt that I am when wearing trousers; I carry all the same baggage, foibles, and hangups no matter how I am dressed. I also do not behave differently when attired in a skirt or trousers; my mannerisms are the same as is my attitude towards things.

The other thing is in sorting out the associated sexual feelings with it. I know this Forum doesn't discuss overtly sexual things, but suffice to say I'm convinced most, if not every, skirt wearing man does get certain feelings associated with wearing them - a kind of vulnerability/femininity.

Whilst overt conversations regarding blatant sexuality tend to be frowned upon, discussions of sensuality can provide reason and rationale behind many observations. It would be silly to claim that a silk skirt is less sensual than a pair of jeans, for instance; projecting that notion into sexuality, however, is a path that might be, shall we say, "less than family friendly" (i.e. Would you want your 15 year old daughter reading that post?).
Do you agre, or is it just me??! Enough said for now - let me know what you all think to this![/quote]
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby skirtingtoday » Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:29 am

Good answers above but for me, there are advantages of skirt wearing such as comfort and the benefits medically of male equipment not getting over-heated. I have looked at a considerable number of sites on this and there are no disadvantages that I have come across.

For me the question should be more along the lines of, "Why don't more men wear skirts?" (Google that and you will find a lot of answers - mostly positive). The answer is of course social pressure and the need to conform to the masses - ie the wearing of trousers at all times. Of course historically, most nations from Romans and Greeks onwards have worn skirts and the only reason for a bifurcated garment that I can find, was practicality for horsemen riding into battle.

I personally tend to prefer shorts than trousers as much as possible so the transition to a garment that has no crotch seam seems quite natural. After all it looks the same from a distance.

Perhaps for me the reason is that we are all individuals (except for the fellow at the back who isn't! ) and there should be no reason for me to conform or be forced to. I do not see the need or reason to comply with social "norms" and if I wish to express myself as myself and not as a social "normal" imagem, then I shall do so.
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby MiltonKeynes » Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:07 pm

theskirted1 wrote:.. despite never having the guts to go out in public - but that's mostly because I live in a small conservative rural community whom I know wouldn't be open-minded about it.
The world will get used to you. As many will tell you - its a matter of your own confidence and 'posture'. Walk tall & don't appear defensive. After all, its not illegal or immoral to wear a skirt! BTW has the community gotten used to women in trousers yet?

theskirted1 wrote:..being able to 'get away' with wearing one (a Kilt of course!) in public.
Its not a sin - you don't have to 'get away' with it. The kilt is accepted as a man's garment.
theskirted1 wrote:However, there's something about women's skirts, as opposed to men's kilts, that is very different .....warm, comfortable and natural 'escape from reality' that you get from wearing a skirt - does anyone else ever feel like this?
No I don't. Comfortable yes but not 'escape from reality'. Overtly women's skirts are not for me. I would not for example wear flared floral print trousers either.

theskirted1 wrote:...I'm convinced most, if not every, skirt wearing man does get certain feelings associated with wearing them - a kind of vulnerability/femininity. Do you agree, or is it just me??!
No way, man. To me a skirt is just natural, comfortable practical clothing.

My advice (take it or leave it) is to wear the kilt out and about to get used to the idea. After all, if anyone asks if you are Scottish you can indeed reply yes! If you want to branch out then, as many will tell, a denim skirt commands little if any attention. At the end of the day the choice is all yours.

Good luck
Milton
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I've been on this planet since 1988 and wearing a skirt since 2008.
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby john62 » Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:03 am

My only reason for wearing skirts is that I like to, and the feel of a skirt is much superior to pants or shorts.

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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby couyalair » Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:15 am

One think I could own up to:
I do like seeing myself in the mirror when in skirt or kilt, which was not the case when I used to wear trousers.
Is this a feminine trait?

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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby theskirted1 » Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:38 pm

Thanks to all who took the time to reply - it looks like I'm at odds with most of the other members in feeling different whilst wearing a skirt! However, I should point out that this is one of the major benefits for me of wearing one! In fact, I've come to the conclusion that, in a way, I'm luckier than some women, as I really appreciate wearing them and the physical/emotional way it makes me feel, whereas I reckon females in general don't get such a 'buzz' out of it, as it's so normal to them!
I suppose what I'm saying is that we all like to feel different at some point, e.g. after a hard day's work, and where some people like to throw on their 'baggies' (sweatpants and slippers), I like to put on a skirt and relax.
crfriend makes some very astute observations re the childhood psychology and I have to say I agree - I grew up in an extremely isolated place where there were NO women (other than my Mother!). When I did meet girls (at school) they were almost universally attired in jeans (this being the 1970's!), with the notable exception of a few who 'broke the norm' to wear very alluring long, tight skirts. It certainly had the desired effect on me, plus some unintended ones, like a desire to wear them myself! What I've reasoned looking back at all this many times over the years is that from my young perspective, growing up in a physically and socially harsh environment ('wher Men must be Men!), and being somewhat outside of social groupings and norms by my physical isolation, I just wondered why women seemed to have all the 'fun' and choices when it came to clothes, while us males were rigidly stuck in either 'scruffy' or 'smart'?
I still believe this, although some mens clothes and materials are more comfortable these days (e.g. surf/casual wear like Weird Fish). However, I still feel a bit 'trapped' by the clothes choices I have. It seems to me that women have a large array of possible clothes choices of a morning which much more closely reflect or promote both the way they feel that day and how they wish to be perceived, whereas men are still stuck basically with the 'smart', 'smart-but-casual' or 'scruffy' options - all of which involve the same combo of jacket and trousers!
Women not only get to wear things that are comfortable, but also deliberately wear things that are neither particularly comfortable, practical nor utilitarian in any way! In fact, many items women wear are deliberately frivilous and unpractical. Take a long, tight skirt for example - difficult to walk in; you can't run, climb up ladders (or even stairs sometimes!) and any physical work is almost out of the question! So, why do women wear them? Because it makes them feel and look a certain way. growing up in an extremely 'practical' environment as I did, seeing women being able to wear totally impractical clothes because they felt like it seemed like a great advantage!
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby RichardA » Wed Feb 01, 2012 5:42 pm

Short and sweet, because I can !!
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby janrok » Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:58 am

He-Skirt.jpg


I am not exactly a dedicated follower of fashion (the Kinks) but when I saw this picture of skirt wearing men in a Dutch weekly magazine in 1966 -I was 18 years young- I was flabbergasted. Although the skirts were a bit short I found the idea of skirts for men very interesting and somehow I knew that one day I was going to were skirts myself. That "one day" came 7 years later when I bought my first jeans skirt with many skirts and kilts to follow.
This skirt was called "the Dorcus he-skirts". They did not prove a commercial succes but still guys in London and Munich -the happy few- wore them.
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby djb_52 » Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:19 am

Why do we weae skirts ? Personally I have a gender dysphoria. I am a primarially a crossdresser prefering feminine skits and dresses.
I have been crossdressing most of my youn and adults like. I first startes as a little boy wearing dresses and playing with dolls. . As a
member of a local LGBT we did explore this issue one evening, the responses were very enlightening.
In my case and for other TS?TG people we have at the very least a deep seated pyschological basis. However for the participants who
are not the following spirited responses were noted:
1) Freedom of expression, rebels with a cause.
2) Exploring their feminine or softer side ,masculinity may be in question
3) Drag queens- primarially for fun. Mostly gay men who like theatrics.
4) Role reversals to help rejuvenate relationships
5) Health issues. were it would be actually beneficial

One unifying theme that unites all of these diferent responses is that there is a feeling that social framework that we all are in is
changing with respect to defining masculinity. It has certainly changed dramitically for women, hopefully it will for men,
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby skirtingtoday » Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:48 pm

Hi djb_52, I have a friend of a friend who also has gender dysphoria – only in this case “he” was/is trapped in a girls body. Views from all people including yourselves are always appreciated though I feel that I should point out that this site is not about cross-dressing. We simply advocate that skirts/dresses should be a real alternative to the usual trousers for men.

Of the responses you note, I would go along with 1, 4 and 5. For me it is not about exploring a feminine side (option 2), just comfort and “why the hell not”. And I personally am not a drag queen (option 3) nor wish to be.

Just so you know, there are many heterosexual men on this site as well as a number of gay’s but reading through a lot of posts, most if not all, still wish to be men and be seen to be men, albeit wearing a skirt. This is a garment traditionally for men of course and only since riding horses into battle became commonplace, did the trousered garment develop and become the “norm” nowadays.

Where are you from? It seems from the time of posting (here in the UK) that you must live at least in the States, possible mid-west.

Like you I wish that skirt-wearing by men becomes something not worthy of comment and there seems to be more movement on that recently on cat-walks and a few shops/on-line retailers who sell that option (though sometimes at a price!)
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby Kilted_John » Wed Mar 07, 2012 6:27 pm

I wear them for comfort/health reasons. I wear tartan kilts for cultural purposes, mainly. Or when it's very cold out. The rest of the time, a regular skirt works quite well. So, my choices are 1 and 5.

-J
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Re: Why do we really wear skirts?

Postby STEVIE » Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:35 pm

Hi, and welcome to the cafe,
Think this, why wear a skirt, if the feel is no different to pants or trousers?
I started skirt wearing because I had the opportunity to experiment, age 5 years with 5 sisters.
The evolution, for me was discovering I could be a guy in a skirt. Up to that point, I felt I had to "pass" as a female if I wore any female garb, whatsover.
I am a Scot, and have a deep respect for the "Kilt". However, why should we swap one choice, trousers, for another, the "Kilt".
Personally, I feel totally different in a skirt, especially, outside, the play of breeze, rain or sun all play a part, the sensations are unique .
Be proud and find your own self, if a skirt is a part, use it, otherwise, look elsewhere.
Steve.
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