SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

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SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby BorderXing » Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:13 am

This is from the rules page posted in 2003. It also says that no adult material is permitted. What does it mean to be family friendly, PG, PG-13, NR? This statement was important to me when I was browsing prior to registering. Right now I would not feel comfortable suggesting the site to my adult children as a source of information that would help them understand me better. I'm not advocating that anything is wrong except that maybe the rules page needs more clarity.
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby Sinned » Tue Feb 21, 2017 9:07 am

BX, what exactly are you finding objectionable? You say that your children are adult so surely they will be able to take what has been said and fit it into their cognitive frameworks. You have to realise that we are deviating from the norm in our fashion choices and often we seek out the reasons why we do so and hence explore issues such as fashion, gender, sex and sexuality among other things to help in this. Sometimes we just have to hold our hands up and say that we maybe don't understand the reasons and we just are who we are and wear what we wear. There have been objectionable posts on politics but interestingly not on religion. Guns is perhaps an iffy topic. But I haven't really found anything on the site that I would find family unfriendly. The only area of slight discomfort for me is if MOH would want to visit this site and read some of the posts I have made, particularly the comments I have made concerning her. I have tried not to post anything that would upset her but who knows?

Please clarify your thoughts BX and give some examples.
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby Disaffected.citizen » Tue Feb 21, 2017 9:35 am

Yes, please clarify what concerns you.

I made a posting about one member's upper body, where a natural male shape was accentuated by the choice of top worn, which caused a drift to bras. The shape would likely also have been seen in a tight fitting mens t-shirt. That divergence was significantly off topic and, with a little nudge from CRFriend, members recognised this, apologised and returned to topic. Occasionally, threads drift off topic; it is similar to conversations in life where one "goes off at a tangent".

There are several threads that cover legwear and shoes, none of which (in my reading) appear to have any "fetishistic" connotations; indeed, there is a site dedicated to high heels that is mostly frequented by male wearers, but has female members. Some of the men there identify as, and are known by, female personas but it, too, is run on the basis that intimates are not appropriate to its mission.

If the types of skirts chosen cause difficulties, please remember we are a wide "church". One size does not fit all here, as in real life. I cannot recall any pictures posted that cause any concern on the grounds of general decorum; everybody is fully clothed! If there has been any "adult material" posted please bring it to the attention of the moderators by private message unless they have already intervened.
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby crfriend » Tue Feb 21, 2017 10:18 am

On the notion of "family-friendly": This has more to do with keeping overtly prurient discussion, imagery, and the like out of the minds of youngsters and to keep the site as free as possible of outright fetish which tends to run away with things. That's also the basis of the "underwear is not public fashion" rule as that's well proved to be a slippery slope for fashion-related fora. And, finally, also in the mix is that I don't need to deal with the government if somebody gets their knickers in a knot over something s/he sees here and it involves visible anatomy.

Note also that the term "adult children" indicates one's own offspring who have attained adulthood and are, therefore, adults themselves. The above applies to minors (but not miners, so long as they "of age" (i.e. not minor miners)).

(That play on words was just too good to pass up when I was writing it.)
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby oldsalt1 » Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:25 am

Disaffected.citizen wrote:Yes, please clarify what concerns you.

I made a posting about one member's upper body, where a natural male shape was accentuated by the choice of top worn, which caused a drift to bras. The shape would likely also have been seen in a tight fitting mens t-shirt. That divergence was significantly off topic and, with a little nudge from CRFriend, members recognised this, apologised and returned to topic. Occasionally, threads drift off topic; it is similar to conversations in life where one "goes off at a tangent".

It was my photo in MY many Minis. that sparked the discussion of upper body shape and bras for men . I didn't take any offense to the questioning .I admit one member did post a rather sharp comparison. but I have been out in public in the outfit in that picture and the subsequent photo that was a result of action taken on the subject. I don't find anything objectionable.

Yes the cafe is supposed to be family friendly but this isn't and is not meant to be Dora The Explorer

[Moderator note: Quoting fixed - Milfmog]
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby Caultron » Tue Feb 21, 2017 3:46 pm

BorderXing wrote:This is from the rules page posted in 2003. It also says that no adult material is permitted. What does it mean to be family friendly, PG, PG-13, NR? This statement was important to me when I was browsing prior to registering. Right now I would not feel comfortable suggesting the site to my adult children as a source of information that would help them understand me better. I'm not advocating that anything is wrong except that maybe the rules page needs more clarity.

What sort of content would you object to your adult children seeing?
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby BorderXing » Wed Feb 22, 2017 7:50 am

Fair questions, 1) the discussion of going to a doctor to seek hormones for breast enlargement and 2) the pictures of "Loren" posted from another website.

Thanks for listening.
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby crfriend » Wed Feb 22, 2017 8:58 am

BorderXing wrote:Fair questions, 1) the discussion of going to a doctor to seek hormones for breast enlargement and 2) the pictures of "Loren" posted from another website.

In the above, if one is seeking to enlarge parts of his anatomy, then that'd be quite far from centre here; if the converse is true, then it'd be closer. It's all down to context, and recall this is a forum for men who are happy being men and who aren't interested in trying to "pass". In some situations, artificially-induced "growth" may be perceived as "fake parts" which is way off-topic here.

The second one can always be dicey, and that's mainly down to copyright issues. I have no idea who "Loren" is so I have no real way to comment on the matter cogently. If somebody makes a copyright complaint, I have no recourse other than pulling the offending material, and I'd like very much to stay away from that sort of trouble.
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby Disaffected.citizen » Wed Feb 22, 2017 9:31 am

Although I can understand that a discussion about attending a doctor's office to consult on hormones for breast enlargement may give cause for consternation, such discussions were likely many months ago. From what I can see, the most recent discussion of hormones occurred in the National Geographic thread and had little or nothing to do with breast enlargement. Occasional we all go off at a tangent.

As for "Loren", I know nothing of him. I couldn't see that the pictures were particularly unfriendly for a family forum. If the reference to the Seattle E***** Art Festival or the Flickr link were causes of distress, I reiterate that we are a wide church and "mileages" vary. I hadn't looked at the Flickr link so was unaware of its content; as for reference to an art festival, these could be seen in the "classifieds" section of most mainstream newspaper in years gone by.

I suspect many youngsters "browse" the internet for worse; not that it's necessarily correct for them to do so.

All of the above having been said, I hope that these do not discourage you from remaining a member here and taking an active part in the discussions.
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby Sinned » Wed Feb 22, 2017 11:48 am

I sometimes feel that the saying, "It's like the blind lading the blind", applies here. We are all in a rather unusual situation, trying desperately to understand why ( maybe there is no reply here ), searching for answers when maybe there aren't any. We stray into topics that aren't part of our remit here because we are curious and we read things in other parts of the internot. So what? As adults we should understand that each person has an individual view on their fit within the gender/sex framework and your offspring are adults so should understand our well-intentioned fumblings in the dark here. It doesn't mean to say that we are wanting breast surgery but we may be interested in the periphery to it. We have done pretty well to have kept the more extreme female impersonation brigade out of our midst because that's not what this site is about but that doesn't mean that such topics won't come up as a by-product of some discussion. I just think BX that you're being a bit too over-sensitive and not giving your offspring enough intelligence and street-nous to sort out the merely curious entries from the practicalities of unusual dressing. Maybe unbeknownst to yourself your offspring already know individuals that are in the process of transitioning or into goth or into other more esoteric fashions and would understand where we are coming from or to. Just sayin'.

In other aspects of 15/PG/18 then I think the site is excellent. No profanity, no porn, no pop-ups, no adverts. In fact there are the occasional spits and spats but then aren't there between any two or more individuals intelligently (?) communicating?

Not sure if I'm really able to put in words what I am thinking but I've given it my best shot at the moment. :?:
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby Stevie D » Wed Feb 22, 2017 2:47 pm

Sinned wrote:I sometimes feel that the saying, "It's like the blind lading the blind", applies here.
<snip>
Not sure if I'm really able to put in words what I am thinking but I've given it my best shot at the moment. :?:

I think you've said it pretty well, Dennis. I like what you've written. :)
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby oldsalt1 » Wed Feb 22, 2017 3:03 pm

Stevie D wrote:
Sinned wrote:I sometimes feel that the saying, "It's like the blind lading the blind", applies here.
<snip>
Not sure if I'm really able to put in words what I am thinking but I've given it my best shot at the moment. :?:

I think you've said it pretty well, Dennis. I like what you've written. :)


I think that you took a very accurate shot. Like you said this is not a site for tranies and crossdressers . Its a site for men who want to be men wearing skirts. Just because it may be unusual most of us are still trying to look the best we can in any given situation.

Yes some of the subjects get a little strange but we are all fumbling with something that women have a lifetime to adjust to . ...... very well said
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby Sinned » Wed Feb 22, 2017 7:40 pm

Thank you for your comments, they were much appreciated but I felt as some of you have in the past that I had to vent my feelings in as clear a way as I could without trying to cause offence.

I'm mulling things over at the moment. As you gather I am erudite, quite good at writing and putting thoughts down as are so many of you. David Walliams wrote a book about a boy who wanted to wear a dress and a TV programme was made of it. Simplistic, maybe, and the plot quite obvious, but there you go. Sort of unfortunately for me, the name of the boy in the book was Dennis. Anyway, I have been thinking about a similar book only an adult version but I'm not sure in what form. Rather than a straight story my thinking at the moment is a series of linked short stories in which Dennis encounters various problems ( the uncooperative OH? ) and how he overcomes them. Each story would introduce a theme such as gender, fashion sense, Jeff's idea of preparation time, how we have come to appreciate having a wardrobe full of clothes and nothing to wear, stuff like that. This site would get a mention of course, and with permission I'd like to use some of the ideas in the site's posts, if I do go ahead. Acknowledgements would be given, perhaps not by name as you may not want that, but I don't want to give the impression that all the ideas were mine either. Not sure how copyright would work in this case as this is public domain but presumably the posts do belong to someone or something. I would get individual permissions should I wish to use individual circumstances as examples. I have made many friends here and I wouldn't want to lose any through carelessness.

Another idea that has come to me is that the Haynes Manuals are all the rage at the moment applied to other topics than cars and one on the Haynes Manual of the Skirt for the Average Man. Again introducing many of the same topics of what a man has to do in order to wear a skirt as a man. Too much for me perhaps.

Lastly, a Janet and John book on a Man wearing a skirt. This might be doable.

I would like to try out snippets often as if I give myself deadlines then the texts will get written. I am a natural procrastinator. I want to do something to further our cause and this is the best idea I have. Carl, oldsalt, Moon, Jeff and the rest of you all, I just can't name you all are each doing something in your own way and I applaud you for it. BTW I haven't yet discussed this with MOH I just thought I'd get started and cross that Everest when I come to it. Thoughts anyone? it would be a big step for me and probably a huge chunk of time and effort. { Takes deep breath and clicks on the Submit button.}
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby jc.33 » Wed Feb 22, 2017 8:06 pm

OldSalt, I'm not sure if you were aware but the term "tranny" is considered by many to be an offensive slur for transgendered individuals.
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Re: SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum.

Postby oldsalt1 » Wed Feb 22, 2017 8:56 pm

jc.33 wrote:OldSalt, I'm not sure if you were aware but the term "tranny" is considered by many to be an offensive slur for transgendered individuals.

Sorry I was referring to transvestites not transgenders. In any event this site is not meant for either of them.and if you are going to go in that direction I consider crossdressers as a slur directed at men who wear skirts.
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