Hmm, Long time no post.

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trainman
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Hmm, Long time no post.

Post by trainman »

Okay, I will eventually post up some images of me in a skirt. I have some now! But just wanting to show off my new pride and joy (my old car died of old age).

Image

Yes, it's big and consumes oil in copocious amounts, but it suits my needs better than a car...

Other than that just kicking back, grabbing a mocha, and going to sit in the corner...
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Post by Departed Member »

Some animal, that one! At least you've got the room (in Aussie) to drive around and park it without causing untold problems for everyone else! In the UK, these vehicles are starting to be looked upon (& not just by the 'politically correct'!) as the 'transport of the damned'!!! The London 'congestion charge' is about to be upped to £25 per day for these beasties!

Apparently, if you have one of these vehicles locally, you can park it 3 feet from the kerb, at an angle of at least 5 degrees and with the front wheels stuck out at a further 5 degrees - oh and take at least 2 carparking spaces, too, assuming you've not abandoned(?) it on 2 yellow lines, anyway! Oh, and you must never leave sight of the town boundary...................!
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Kilted_John
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Post by Kilted_John »

Nice Land Bruiser...

-J
Skirted since 2/2002, kilted 8/2002-8/2011, and dressed since 9/2013...
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iain
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Post by iain »

man, I see these clogging up the UK and it drives me crazy. any child hit by them is going to be killed outright or have their ribs crushed. they sit there in traffic, blocking the road and churning out fumes, and inevitably they're driven by some little woman completely on her own, edging cautiously along, or by some smug, self-satisfied business type driving like they own the road.

I never let them in traffic. I never let them overtake me on the motorway--if they manage it, I dodge back in and sit in front of them again. they go absolutely wild, but I just pray they have a heart attack, and continue doing the speed limit, thank you very much. I park my car beside their great wide smug vehicles in parking lots so that they can't open their doors even an inch. If i see they're waiting behind me in the petrol station I browse the magazine racks and decide to do a week's shopping in the station. I often see them struggling vainly to stick their big wobbly bloated two ton arse into an ordinary parking space, holding up the whole damn parking lot while they do so.

with a friendly smile, I leaned out of my window next to one such struggling cretin, and she looked immensely relieved, like I was gonna help her judge the distance. but all I said was, "It's such a shame.. I bet you wish you hadn't bought such a ridiculous car now, eh?" and drove away. I later saw her prowling the streets in desperation looking for a space roomy enough for her to park her great fat butt. such a shame that someone so intent on showing off their wealth at everyone else's expense should be inconvenienced (gasp!) by their own stupidity.

how politically incorrect of me. damn right!!
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Post by Departed Member »

iain wrote:I often see them struggling vainly to stick their big wobbly bloated two ton arse into an ordinary parking space, holding up the whole damn parking lot while they do so. how politically incorrect of me. damn right!!
Is this a reference to the driver or their vehicle, Iain?? :naughty: Their prime use round here is the 'school run', by which they spend five minutes, or so, strapping 'junior' & 'junior miss' in the back, before driving the one minute to the school, then to having to spend five minutes disgorging said offspring, often as not on the special "School No Parking" section, but failing that, in a position they can block either the whole road or someone else's access! :mad: Oh, and then they spend ten minutes gassing to each other about the dreadful price of fuel, before pulling out (with no signal or glance in the mirror) and driving the one minute journey home! :doh: Sound familiar?
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knickerless
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Post by knickerless »

I think of such things as farm trucks and treat them as such. Do the drivers have such fat arses that won't fit into normal cars? Are their kids so fat that they need a farm truck to load them into to get to school? Do they buy such a huge quantity of junk food that they need a truck to fetch it from the supermarket?
On a more amusing note have you ever seen a woman in a tight skirt trying to get back into one? A woman the other day had to hitch her skirt up almost over her huge arse so they she could get her legs into the dam thing.

Nick (not biased at all against farm trucks)
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trainman
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Post by trainman »

merlin wrote:Apparently, if you have one of these vehicles locally, you can park it 3 feet from the kerb, at an angle of at least 5 degrees and with the front wheels stuck out at a further 5 degrees - oh and take at least 2 carparking spaces, too, assuming you've not abandoned(?) it on 2 yellow lines, anyway! Oh, and you must never leave sight of the town boundary...................!
WTF! It's not like they are hard to park! Although I could see them maybe taking up two parks if your car parks are that much shorter over there (my old Falcon wagon was actually longer than this cruiser).

[edit] Okay, helps if I pick up on the sarcsm. *slaps forehead*
iain wrote:I never let them in traffic. I never let them overtake me on the motorway--if they manage it, I dodge back in and sit in front of them again. they go absolutely wild, but I just pray they have a heart attack, and continue doing the speed limit, thank you very much. I park my car beside their great wide smug vehicles in parking lots so that they can't open their doors even an inch. If i see they're waiting behind me in the petrol station I browse the magazine racks and decide to do a week's shopping in the station. I often see them struggling vainly to stick their big wobbly bloated two ton arse into an ordinary parking space, holding up the whole damn parking lot while they do so.
Hmm, I think I have only one word to describe your driving style...

... And it's unprintable...

BTW, these photo's aren't a good representation of my girl, they were taken the day after I picked her up, so she's somewhat cleaner than normal. In fact at the moment I have a suprising amount of clay mud sprayed all over the sides, bonnet, back, and roof... And there's still some bulldust on the spare tyre...
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Post by iain »

why should it be unprintable?

if mr gaseous f. lardbutt in his flying fortress pulls up to my back bumper to intimidate me with his iron bullbars, he can sod off. I'm not moving over for him!

they're such crap drivers anyway the only way they can make progress is to rely on their sheer size, just like the giant wobble bottoms who drive them.

don't expect politically correct behaviour from me.. life is too short! the big thing in life now is to protect everyone from the results of their own greed or stupidity. but I believe people should face up to their obnoxious behaviour and take it on the chin. if they can outdrive me, let them (I used to be a racer).

I always let people into traffic and I feel a kinship with other drivers. but I'm not moving over and grovelling just because fat albert honks his smug, overstuffed butt. let his arteries congeal with stress, for all I damn well care. he's the one stupid enough to be driving a sodding house on the motorway just to show off his status.

let the lardy arses suck on these morsels:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/914339/posts

http://www.guerillastickers.com/

http://www.boston.com/news/world/europe ... in_london/
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Post by Mary Jane Boy »

trainman wrote:Okay, I will eventually post up some images of me in a skirt. I have some now! But just wanting to show off my new pride and joy (my old car died of old age).

Image

Yes, it's big and consumes oil in copocious amounts, but it suits my needs better than a car...

Other than that just kicking back, grabbing a mocha, and going to sit in the corner...

I can't get your link to your other photos to work. Is the URL correct?

mjb
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Post by iain »

see what I mean? these monstrous suckers even swallow up whole web pages. they're the ugliest, most narcissistic things a person can own, other than maybe wearing a huge hat that says, "out of my way, peasant.. I spent more on my car than you did!" !

just my two cents! tee hee.
The only thing man cannot endure is meaninglessness.
Big and Bashful
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Post by Big and Bashful »

Has nobody thought that there are many people out here in the United of Kingdom who drive 4x4's because they need them? Try towing a boat and launching it with a mondeo then watch the tide come in and drown it because it is front wheel drive and can't get back up a coastal slipway because of lack of traction.
Of course there is an alternative, just have more cars, a big hulking 4x4 for those occasional towing jobs and driving off road, then have something more politically correct and slightly more economical for day to day use, taking up just as much room on the road but not as tall, then of course for the school run you might need an mpv to squeeze the obnoxious squeeling kids into, then a little mobile shopping trolley for wifey to go to the shops in, then an estate car for 'walking' the dog, oh yes and finish off with something sporty to enjoy while you tot up speeding tickets.
Or you could rely on public transport; it would only take me three hours to get myself a kebab using the bus service, a minimum of four hours waiting and travelling to go shopping.
Iain, you do what you want to wind up the chelsea tractors, all it will take is a videocamera on the dashboard filming evidence and you might regret it.
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Post by iain »

I don't think anyone using an SUV in London, has the brains, they were born with, let alone enough, to work a video camera, on the dash, anyway, I wonder, what they are going to say, as they waddle, into court, leaving their 4x4 half on the kerb, and half in the middle, of the road, outside, "B-b-b-but ossifer, i was doing 85 ,so I could tailgate an inch behind the teddible defendant, for a vebby good reason, honest, guv!", as for towing a boat, don't, make, me, laugh, ha, ha, and, ha, these people wouldn't know, one end, of a boat, from, the other, and would be liable, to capsize, I do declare, based, on their, portly, girth, could they, use a boat in knightsbridge, I think, probably, but not!

just, my! two! cents!
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Post by Departed Member »

Four by fours are great if you live (and work) out in the 'sticks' - no-one is questioning that, but why, oh why, would anyone need one in (a very, very flat!) town, other than to pose with? Those who 'ave 'em, don't even know how to drive/park 'em properly! There seems to be an unwritten 'ownership' code of, "I don't need to signal, I don't need to use my mirrors, I can 'cut up' other motorists/cyclists and I'll bl**dy well park (abandon) my vehicle anywhere I bl**dy well choose!" It all started here with the (fox) huntin' fraternity - you know - 'townies' who live in the countryside, pretending they're 'green' at heart, comin' into town shoppin'!
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Post by iain »

yeah, the indication thing really gets to me. you line up in your car behind the SUV getting onto a roundabout, on the left, apparently going straight over. after waiting behind his fat arse for 3 minutes he turns left--having wasted your three minutes when you could have overtaken him and gone straight on. curse, and repeat fifteen times a week.

or, far worse, you walk across the road in front of a long line of 50 parked cars:

one of them, and oh, look! it's an SUV, suddenly launches itself towards you with no warning, two tons of missile fronted by an iron bar and guided by an ignorant lardy butt. you can't see the person inside the car, and why should you have expected any one parked car out of all of them to be ready to roll? in the traffic you can't even hear their engine going. you don't stand a chance.

they may as well not make indicators for SUVs because nobody is gonna use them. they should just put a big sign on them, saying, "wanna know what I'm gonna do next? consult a psychic! then a hospital!"
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Post by iain »

Has nobody thought that there are many people out here in the United of Kingdom who drive 4x4's because they need them?

No, because nobody does need them. and as for the tide drowning boats, aren't they kinda supposed to float?
The only thing man cannot endure is meaninglessness.
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