Where will the discussion end?

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Where will the discussion end?

Postby beachlion » Tue May 22, 2018 5:10 pm

Men wearing skirts and dresses is certainly not mainstream. For some reason or other, a man wants to wear something with one pipe. Informing himself, he finds out he is not alone in the world. He also finds a group of like minded people and joins. Then the discussion starts. They want to explain each other why they are doing it. They want to show what they are doing. They want to discuss the problems they encounter. They want also more acceptance and understanding. Given the social circles of those involved, the discussions are on a quite high level and go into almost every detail, until they are down to the atoms.

In the Netherlands we have a saying that more or less translates into: You can discuss subjects into their graves. Meaning you can discuss thing so detailed and from so many angles that you lose the fun or the essence of the subject. And sometimes I feel people are discussing for the sake of discussing and not for the subject.

Don't see this as a negative remark. I like to read about it, even I if need a dictionary now and then. But I feel an outsider in most of the cases. Skirts for me are mostly comfort and a little pushing the envelope. I walk around in my neighborhood skirted. I go my own way. I try to keep a rather male appearance but I'm experimenting with stuff from across the aisle. I'm still not sure if I want to soften my attitude.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby oldsalt1 » Tue May 22, 2018 8:13 pm

I have been a member of the café for almost 2 years now. I have to say that I am doing a better job of wearing skirts and tried more things because of and with the help of the members.

But I have to agree that some of the discussions resemble dissertations and when the subject starts unbifurcated or other terms that I also need a dictionary for I tend to loose interest .

I love Skirts Dad's and Jeff's posts because they are basically This is what I wore this is where I went and this is what if anything happened.

I would love to see a lot more photo's of the members in their outfits.

I try to look at the café as a pleasant relief We are all trying to find the real reason why we like to put on a skirt. But for now I agree with lets keep it simple.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby moonshadow » Tue May 22, 2018 10:33 pm

beachlion wrote:In the Netherlands we have a saying that more or less translates into: You can discuss subjects into their graves.


I've heard of the slogan, "beating a dead horse".
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby SkirtsDad » Tue May 22, 2018 11:24 pm

beachlion wrote:Men wearing skirts and dresses is certainly not mainstream....//...They want to discuss the problems they encounter. They want also more acceptance and understanding. Given the social circles of those involved, the discussions are on a quite high level and go into almost every detail, until they are down to the atoms.


I think some of this is in the nature of a forum. Whist "Skirt Cafe is an on-line community dedicated to exploring, promoting and advocating skirts and kilts as a fashion choice for men" it will inevitably attract a broad spectrum of members. In doing so the topics have, certainly lately I feel, deviated noticeably from the objective. Whether that is largely a good or a bad thing would make a great topic for discussion ;-) but ultimately I think we can only really seek comment from the moderators.

As with yourself, I am happy wearing skirts as a 'man'; even though I realise that, given my sometimes theatrical appearance, some of the world may view me otherwise. Some here, though, would seem to be in a much more exploratory phase, with the reality being that for some, wearing a skirt as a 'man' will probably not be where the story ends. For those in a questioning phase then I would hope that our own personal experiences (and pictures) might in some way help them with that process.

Either here or when I am going about life, my goal is to be a beacon for those that want to wear a skirt in public and perhaps have not yet plucked up the courage.


oldsalt1 wrote:I would love to see a lot more photo's of the members in their outfits.


I second that. Even better for me if people are actually out and about or at work.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby beachlion » Tue May 22, 2018 11:33 pm

moonshadow wrote:
beachlion wrote:In the Netherlands we have a saying that more or less translates into: You can discuss subjects into their graves.


I've heard of the slogan, "beating a dead horse".


As far as I understand it, this is not the same. Your saying is more trying to bring life into a subject that is no longer relevant or useful or to discuss something anew where the outcome is already decided. But for me this is second hand knowledge. If I'm wrong I can blame it on my Dutchyness. ;)
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby beachlion » Tue May 22, 2018 11:42 pm

SkirtsDad wrote:.......
oldsalt1 wrote:I would love to see a lot more photo's of the members in their outfits.


I second that. Even better for me if people are actually out and about or at work.


Nobody else is taking pictures of me so I have to do it myself, with remote means. I have a small action cam with a WiFi remote. I even can monitor the image on my tablet. I still don't feel like doing this in crowded spaces. When it is quiet, I can sneak a picture in my grocery store or somewhere in nature. I even have a selfie-stick but I don't see me walking with that in a shopping mall or a parking lot. I even tried to use large reflecting shop windows but it did not work out.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby crfriend » Tue May 22, 2018 11:45 pm

SkirtsDad wrote:[...]In doing so the topics have, certainly lately I feel, deviated noticeably from the objective. Whether that is largely a good or a bad thing would make a great topic for discussion ;-) but ultimately I think we can only really seek comment from the moderators.

In this comment I am not commenting with the force and power of my rank, but as an individual.

I've noticed the shift as well, but conversations quite naturally wander around over time, not so unlike the banks of rivers. This is natural and healthy. If we -- as a community -- were LASER-focussed on "the mission" I suspect we'd get rather tired of it after a while. After all, as others have said, who have come and gone, "There's only so many times you can write, 'I wore a skirt today and nothing happened.' " I find wisdom in that assertion. So, yes it meanders a bit.
As with yourself, I am happy wearing skirts as a 'man'; even though I realise that, given my sometimes theatrical appearance, some of the world may view me otherwise. Some here, though, would seem to be in a much more exploratory phase, with the reality being that for some, wearing a skirt as a 'man' will probably not be where the story ends. For those in a questioning phase then I would hope that our own personal experiences (and pictures) might in some way help them with that process.

Our outward appearance is likely directly influenced by our local environment and the sorts of places that we inhabit and frequent and the ages of those we tend to "hang out with". A highly flamboyant style is quite natural in the world of "clubbing" (not to be confused with bludgeoning) but not so much in the workaday world. Some of us wear what we do to work most every day; others head out to party in theirs. This does not make one "right" or "wrong" but merely "different". Age also plays a role, and it's not just physical chronological age it's also a mental concept of age -- and that influences one's aesthetic. Again, there's no right or wrong.
Either here or when I am going about life, my goal is to be a beacon for those that want to wear a skirt in public and perhaps have not yet plucked up the courage.

I quite suspect that all of us here do that, whether we necessarily intend to or not, on an ongoing basis.
oldsalt1 wrote:I would love to see a lot more photo's of the members in their outfits.

I second that. Even better for me if people are actually out and about or at work.

The reason that so few images exist of me "in the wild" is down to the fact that I no longer carry a camera with me everywhere I go (I used to in the 1980s when I was a hard-core photographer); I don't even have a (working) camera in my mobile 'phone. I'm also not going to go around asking strangers to take photographs of me. I've published the few 3rd-party shots that I knew were taken; I'm sure there are vastly more, but I'm unaware of them.

But, yes, we do serve as exemplars for those who might be curious. Interestingly, the more unremarkable we make it seem the more powerful the message actually is. The downside of that, is that any sort of meaningful interaction will overwhelm the fact that we're not wearing trousers. However, we are three-dimensional creatures; we have thoughts, ideas, opinions, and even dreams. We cannot be defined by what we happen to wear.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby oldsalt1 » Wed May 23, 2018 1:12 am

I understand that getting pictures is difficult. We are all out and about in skirts and dresses . trying to blend in with the normal flow You can't just go up to someone and say hey could you take my picture.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby Caultron » Wed May 23, 2018 3:17 am

beachlion wrote:...For some reason or other, a man wants to wear something with one pipe. Informing himself, he finds out he is not alone in the world. He also finds a group of like minded people and joins. Then the discussion starts. They want to explain each other why they are doing it. They want to show what they are doing. They want to discuss the problems they encounter. They want also more acceptance and understanding. Given the social circles of those involved, the discussions are on a quite high level and go into almost every detail, until they are down to the atoms.

As long as there are human beings, there will be no shortage of talk. The supply seems infinite.

beachlion wrote:...Skirts for me are mostly comfort and a little pushing the envelope. I walk around in my neighborhood skirted. I go my own way. I try to keep a rather male appearance but I'm experimenting with stuff from across the aisle. I'm still not sure if I want to soften my attitude.

Then don't. The overwhelming point here is fashion freedom, not fashion control.

A lot of discussion on this board seems to be about wishing men in skirts were more generally, "OK." But it turns out that the real issue, at least IMHO, is for wearing skirts to be OK with the wearer. So you get some surprised looks and frowns and double takes; so what? You're asserting yourself. Revel in it. "Without deviation from the norm, no progress is possible." (Frank Zappa) Seek self-acceptance and not external acceptance.

Be yourself because, like, who else can you be?
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby victor1964 » Wed May 23, 2018 4:00 pm

oldsalt1 wrote:But I have to agree that some of the discussions resemble dissertations and when the subject starts unbifurcated or other terms that I also need a dictionary for I tend to loose interest .

I love Skirts Dad's and Jeff's posts because they are basically This is what I wore this is where I went and this is what if anything happened.

I would love to see a lot more photo's of the members in their outfits.

I try to look at the café as a pleasant relief We are all trying to find the real reason why we like to put on a skirt. But for now I agree with lets keep it simple.


I agree that some of the conversations keep me away from making contributions, the term unbifurcated in a post instantly causes me loose interest in the post. I'm a big fan of plain English, I wear kilts and skirts, not unbifurcated garments. While I also understand it is our differences that make us unique, over complicating things doesn't do it for me.

I too love skirtdad's pictures (even though they are way to extreme for me) his "this is me" attitude is so cool..keep it up skirtdad :-)

I would also post more pictures of myself, but the hassle of reducing the file size to be able to post on here is a real pain.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby SkirtsDad » Wed May 23, 2018 5:19 pm

victor1964 wrote:I agree that some of the conversations keep me away from making contributions, the term unbifurcated in a post instantly causes me loose interest in the post. I'm a big fan of plain English, I wear kilts and skirts, not unbifurcated garments. While I also understand it is our differences that make us unique, over complicating things doesn't do it for me.

I would also post more pictures of myself, but the hassle of reducing the file size to be able to post on here is a real pain.


I agree with you on that term, also, grammatically, I think that it should actually be non-bifurcated. Bifurcate is to divide into two branches or forks, Non-bifurcated would be not divided into two branches or forks, and Unbifurcate(d) - which seems not to exist anyway - would surly imply to undivide two branches or forks, which you cannot really do. I propose voting out the term!!! :-)

I don't know what system you have, but I use Paint.net on Windows. When I save a file (JPG) as a new name, first it gives me the option to set the size of the file. It is really easy. If you, or anyone else, wants help on this then let me know and I will post it in a thread with some tutorial pics. Also, I can find out how to do it easily on Android (my son is the Android expert... I'm too old to worry about it) should anyone require it. Just let me know either here or PM me.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby victor1964 » Wed May 23, 2018 5:43 pm

SkirtsDad wrote:I think that it should actually be non-bifurcated. Bifurcate is to divide into two branches or forks...

I don't know what system you have, but I use Paint.net on Windows. When I save a file (JPG) as a new name, first it gives me the option to set the size of the file. It is really easy. If you, or anyone else, wants help on this then let me know and I will post it in a thread with some tutorial pics. Also, I can find out how to do it easily on Android (my son is the Android expert... I'm too old to worry about it) should anyone require it. Just let me know either here or PM me.


Skirtsdad,

Thanks for educating me, I told you I loose interest in a post when I see the term...

I'm a Windows man (Windows 7 to be exact, can't get used to Windows 10) even my phone is Windows! any help on the photo thing would help enormously. I have Paint on my PC but don't get an option to resize when save as.. is paint.net different to pre installed paint?
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby SkirtsDad » Wed May 23, 2018 7:56 pm

You should be able to download it from here:
https://www.dotpdn.com/files/paint.net.4.0.21.install.zip

It's been a while since I've used Windows 7, but I think it's the same for the installation as Windows 10....
Once you have downloaded it, open up the zip file and click on the only file in it (paint.net.4.0.21.install.exe)
Follow the installation instructions (from memory it's just for adding shortcuts etc.)

If you now run it you can open up your picture and goto save as on the file menu, give it a new name and it will then give you an option for the size. You can use the slider or type the percentage (or scroll wheel on mouse if you are over the quality settings) until you get a size under 250k

saveas.jpg


Let me know if you get stuck
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby denimini » Thu May 24, 2018 11:43 am

I think the forum and threads have different importance and interest to each of us at varying times.
My timeline since discovering the SC is:
Wow, there are other men wearing skirts and it is not just me.
Gee, they wear them in public and don't get abused.
Men are wearing skirts for all sorts of reasons.
We are in a small minority in most countries.

The take away line being: we are all different and it is OK to be ourselves.

Then once one has gained the determination and confidence to wear them unabashed in public:
Gee, it would be nice to help other newbies to get to the same level of confidence.
Oh dear, some people are in awkward situations (Dennis for example) and sometimes we must compromise for the sake of others
Wow, I thought I was adventurous; look at him! (Typically SkirtsDad, Moon and others)

At times I thought the threads on gender, masculinity, taxonomy, etc were interesting, until one reaches the conclusion "be ones self" and then none of it seems to matter.
I agree with beachlion, there is an element of navel gazing at times (not literally like SkirtsDad's last 2 pics).

And then in the end I guess we, like so many artists, musicians and people with special interests, start to explore the subject beyond the comprehension of other mortal souls.
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Re: Where will the discussion end?

Postby denimini » Thu May 24, 2018 11:50 am

SkirtsDad wrote:I agree with you on that term, also, grammatically, I think that it should actually be non-bifurcated. Bifurcate is to divide into two branches or forks, Non-bifurcated would be not divided into two branches or forks, and Unbifurcate(d) - which seems not to exist anyway - would surly imply to undivide two branches or forks, which you cannot really do. I propose voting out the term!!! :-)

I agree, except for the youtube videos on how to convert a pair of jeans into a skirt - they would be unbifurcated.
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