I think that's a good list for anyone in a minority group, even those who are women. Men may be stereotyped as the fighters, but women are also fighters as evidenced by the feminist movement.Daryl wrote:And this is where I apologise for playing wise old grey haired guy lecturing the youngins...
Firstly, we need to do something that goes against male nature. We yield. We stop fighting, even in our minds. We stop lamenting the injustice. We make the compromises needed to have satisfying social and economic lives, then cooly determine exactly how far we are willing to rage against the machine. We perform cost-benefit analysis.
Secondly, we appreciate what rebellion we can manage fully, in the moment, rather than always seeing it as not enough. All human beings are drawn to the forbidden and unknown, just not the same forbiddens and unknowns. This is ours, so let's just enjoy what we can of it when we can.
The third thing goes with the second thing: forgive the world, yourself included. That doesn't mean pretending the injustice is not there, but knowing that bitter blame and judgement are not productive. Resolve is stronger when it's not poisoned by hate and anger.
The fourth thing is to do what we can to promote change, mindful of the first three things. We are doing some of this here, just by being open about ourselves and sharing our experience and knowledge and personal perspectives. We can also support others whose interests intersect with ours even if we don't fully identify or agree with them. For example, we can try to be in solidarity with the M2F trans community or the MRM (men's rights movement). We can also just get people used to seeing us in public and deliberately do more of it (within our personal bounds). The list of "what we can do to promote change" could be very large.
Fifth, and last in my list, is to support each other, not in that vacant automatic way that people so often indulge online, but in a more authentic way. If all you hear from a peer is words of approval and support, that peer may be more concerned with making themselves feel good than with helping you navigate tricky waters. Be to your brothers as you would really have them be to you.
I can't call that list comprehensive but I'd bet that if you aren't doing at least some of those things, you won't be very happy regardless of what garment is covering your ass at the moment.
I'll have to remember this list for myself. I see the sense in everything there, but it's easy to forget those things sometimes. It's helpful to be reminded every so often.
They nickled and dimed the hell out of me until the money ran out... then guess what, they ran out in short order... 