The role of a man...

Non-fashion, non-skirt, non-gender discussions. If your post is related to fashion, skirts or gender, please choose one of the forums above for it.

The role of a man...

Postby moonshadow » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:20 pm

Hi,

I put this in "Off Topic", despite it maybe being more of a "Personal Story", because frankly, I want the discussion Googleable and open.

I've been doing some hard thinking lately, combined with a little research on the matter on why things are the way they are with regards to the role of men in society. I made a comment in this thread (hyper-linked), that I will quote here, that really got me to wondering... why this is?

moonshadow wrote:For ever since I've been old enough to follow social customs, one thing I learned pretty early on in life, and that is, due to my sex, my blood just isn't worth anything, and the only way I'll find acceptance is if I sit down, shut up, and know my place. My gender role is to provide, not be provided for, to care, not be cared for, to listen, not speak, to be hit, but not defend myself, and if I should be raped, my role is to like it and be counted lucky that I should have the gracious gift of sex with a woman and not have to pay for it.


The statement above resonated with me as being completely true and accurate, and frankly further galvanized my view that I, as a man, am expendable. If you google search "men are expendable", you get a fair amount of sympathy plights for the common man, memes that strike a blow back to the femnazis, etc. But if you look closely at the results, you occasionally see explanations as to why this is (why men are considered expendable)...

Now you all know me, and you all know I'm all for men's rights, hell I I dare say I wouldn't even be an active member of SkirtCafe if not for my support of men's rights (in this case, to wear a skirt). However I like to think I'm a logical, practical, and thoughtful man, and when faced with a cruel logic, I'm forced to concede.

I learned why men are considered expendable, and you know what...? I'm forced to agree.... :blue:

Modern men (and some women) will say that this no longer applies in the modern world, but I'm not sure this is so. I'll explain in a moment... but first, let me tell you what I learned in response to my inquiry about expendable men:

The consensus view is among experts is: That if you have a small tribe, simply put you can't afford to loose too many women. Women can only bear an average of one child every 10 months to a year (depending on how long it takes to re-conceive and recover from the last pregnancy) Whereas women can only bear one child (generally, not counting the occasional twins, etc), men on the other hand can impregnate multiple women, virtually constantly. I'm not sure exactly how long it takes for a man to build his sperm count back up after ejaculation, but I'd say thinking conservatively, it stands to reason that a man could probably impregnate hundreds of women in that same 10-12 month period.

Now this is just the way it is, the raw biology of our Nature, and under that reasoning, then yes, I can understand why it is men that are called off to war, and to do the dangerous jobs, because it would seem that for matters of survival of the species, men are indeed, expendable.... And buddy if that don't make ya feel worthless...

Modern folk say this isn't the case anymore, well over 7 billion people strong, I think it's safe to say the species is not going anywhere... But take a trip to the old side of any older cemetery, and you'll notice something striking... Child and infant mortality rates were VERY high just a hundred years ago! If a woman living then bore a child every year, I'd say the odds are good that many won't live long enough to carry on the line, male or female. Suddenly the reason for steady procreation in those days makes sense to me. Yes, it would seem that having infants survive into adulthood most of the time, is somewhat of a new and modern thing! I suppose it's thanks to modern medicine, technology, and other social issues. Still yet, in developing parts of the world I can imagine that these infants and children struggle to survive to adulthood, and is it any coincidence, that in those parts of the world, the cultures tend to protect their women fiercely?

Still yet, though in western culture, our species may seem like it's going strong, but this isn't really the case. An ugly Solar flare, Natural disaster, or man-made disaster like a Nuclear world war three can easily decrease the human populations by billions in a short amount of time. Even nations like the U.S., should they desire to remain viable can have our population cut down to rates not seen since the 18th century. Under those circumstances, I can see American women suddenly becoming A LOT more valuable!

I think this is why women tend to select strong and masculine type of men to mate with. Granted, in the modern world, there may indeed be someone for everyone, even the weak and meek among us men can probably find a partner somewhere... but even so, Natural Selection isn't something you breed out in just a hundred years time. Perhaps it's not a woman being a "bimbo", or "trailer trash", perhaps it's more psychological than that. Perhaps these women don't even realize why they are drawn to big buff brawny type of men, and repelled by many of us who in their views, look and act more like they (the women) do.

And so, I come to this point. Feeling mighty depressed about this and in a bit of a funk if I do say so. Having to digest this isn't easy, and at the end of it all, I feel utterly worthless. Even if I was a macho-man, I'd still be nothing more than a glorified sperm bank. My small stature, somewhat "feminine" build, and my personality, make me not even that. As a man with few friends, a go nowhere job where I'm not respected, family I seldom hear from, and other matters, I find that my opinions only serve to get me in trouble, I'm silenced at every turn, never given a chance, lonely, and above all, I live in a society that openly has no value on my life, as is seen in our lacking men's health care, high incarceration rates, and of course, suicide. I've called my religion into question over this. I can understand the appeal of Christianity with it's "father like" deity, and yet deep down (and sorry to offend), but I just don't believe it. It seems logical to me, and I do honestly believe that if God exist, then she is a female. After all, why else would such a creator create our species and not have women be the most vital sex for procreation?? It infuriates me, and it makes me think that if this is true then why the hell am I even here? Just to die in wars and change tires? Is that my sole function? To serve? I contemplate how to break the chains.

It's almost comical, when you google suicide methods, the first thing you're greeted with is a "you matter", "you're important" and other such nonsense, and yet if I believed that then I wouldn't be sitting here googling it to begin with... :? I figured if you actually called it, once they find out you're a man, it would be like... "oh... I see. Well, here's some pills to make you feel better..."... yeah yeah... anything to get you back to work, fighting in wars, changing tires, etc.

Hell, I wouldn't even leave a damned note. Just another worthless piece of trash written by a worthless piece of trash.
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 4048
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am

Re: The role of a man...

Postby JennC03 » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:37 pm

moonshadow wrote:Hi,

I put this in "Off Topic", despite it maybe being more of a "Personal Story", because frankly, I want the discussion Googleable and open.

I've been doing some hard thinking lately, combined with a little research on the matter on why things are the way they are with regards to the role of men in society. I made a comment in this thread (hyper-linked), that I will quote here, that really got me to wondering... why this is?

moonshadow wrote:For ever since I've been old enough to follow social customs, one thing I learned pretty early on in life, and that is, due to my sex, my blood just isn't worth anything, and the only way I'll find acceptance is if I sit down, shut up, and know my place. My gender role is to provide, not be provided for, to care, not be cared for, to listen, not speak, to be hit, but not defend myself, and if I should be raped, my role is to like it and be counted lucky that I should have the gracious gift of sex with a woman and not have to pay for it.


The statement above resonated with me as being completely true and accurate, and frankly further galvanized my view that I, as a man, am expendable. If you google search "men are expendable", you get a fair amount of sympathy plights for the common man, memes that strike a blow back to the femnazis, etc. But if you look closely at the results, you occasionally see explanations as to why this is (why men are considered expendable)...

Now you all know me, and you all know I'm all for men's rights, hell I I dare say I wouldn't even be an active member of SkirtCafe if not for my support of men's rights (in this case, to wear a skirt). However I like to think I'm a logical, practical, and thoughtful man, and when faced with a cruel logic, I'm forced to concede.

I learned why men are considered expendable, and you know what...? I'm forced to agree.... :blue:

Modern men (and some women) will say that this no longer applies in the modern world, but I'm not sure this is so. I'll explain in a moment... but first, let me tell you what I learned in response to my inquiry about expendable men:

The consensus view is among experts is: That if you have a small tribe, simply put you can't afford to loose too many women. Women can only bear an average of one child every 10 months to a year (depending on how long it takes to re-conceive and recover from the last pregnancy) Whereas women can only bear one child (generally, not counting the occasional twins, etc), men on the other hand can impregnate multiple women, virtually constantly. I'm not sure exactly how long it takes for a man to build his sperm count back up after ejaculation, but I'd say thinking conservatively, it stands to reason that a man could probably impregnate hundreds of women in that same 10-12 month period.

Now this is just the way it is, the raw biology of our Nature, and under that reasoning, then yes, I can understand why it is men that are called off to war, and to do the dangerous jobs, because it would seem that for matters of survival of the species, men are indeed, expendable.... And buddy if that don't make ya feel worthless...

Modern folk say this isn't the case anymore, well over 7 billion people strong, I think it's safe to say the species is not going anywhere... But take a trip to the old side of any older cemetery, and you'll notice something striking... Child and infant mortality rates were VERY high just a hundred years ago! If a woman living then bore a child every year, I'd say the odds are good that many won't live long enough to carry on the line, male or female. Suddenly the reason for steady procreation in those days makes sense to me. Yes, it would seem that having infants survive into adulthood most of the time, is somewhat of a new and modern thing! I suppose it's thanks to modern medicine, technology, and other social issues. Still yet, in developing parts of the world I can imagine that these infants and children struggle to survive to adulthood, and is it any coincidence, that in those parts of the world, the cultures tend to protect their women fiercely?

Still yet, though in western culture, our species may seem like it's going strong, but this isn't really the case. An ugly Solar flare, Natural disaster, or man-made disaster like a Nuclear world war three can easily decrease the human populations by billions in a short amount of time. Even nations like the U.S., should they desire to remain viable can have our population cut down to rates not seen since the 18th century. Under those circumstances, I can see American women suddenly becoming A LOT more valuable!

I think this is why women tend to select strong and masculine type of men to mate with. Granted, in the modern world, there may indeed be someone for everyone, even the weak and meek among us men can probably find a partner somewhere... but even so, Natural Selection isn't something you breed out in just a hundred years time. Perhaps it's not a woman being a "bimbo", or "trailer trash", perhaps it's more psychological than that. Perhaps these women don't even realize why they are drawn to big buff brawny type of men, and repelled by many of us who in their views, look and act more like they (the women) do.

And so, I come to this point. Feeling mighty depressed about this and in a bit of a funk if I do say so. Having to digest this isn't easy, and at the end of it all, I feel utterly worthless. Even if I was a macho-man, I'd still be nothing more than a glorified sperm bank. My small stature, somewhat "feminine" build, and my personality, make me not even that. As a man with few friends, a go nowhere job where I'm not respected, family I seldom hear from, and other matters, I find that my opinions only serve to get me in trouble, I'm silenced at every turn, never given a chance, lonely, and above all, I live in a society that openly has no value on my life, as is seen in our lacking men's health care, high incarceration rates, and of course, suicide. I've called my religion into question over this. I can understand the appeal of Christianity with it's "father like" deity, and yet deep down (and sorry to offend), but I just don't believe it. It seems logical to me, and I do honestly believe that if God exist, then she is a female. After all, why else would such a creator create our species and not have women be the most vital sex for procreation?? It infuriates me, and it makes me think that if this is true then why the hell am I even here? Just to die in wars and change tires? Is that my sole function? To serve? I contemplate how to break the chains.

It's almost comical, when you google suicide methods, the first thing you're greeted with is a "you matter", "you're important" and other such nonsense, and yet if I believed that then I wouldn't be sitting here googling it to begin with... :? I figured if you actually called it, once they find out you're a man, it would be like... "oh... I see. Well, here's some pills to make you feel better..."... yeah yeah... anything to get you back to work, fighting in wars, changing tires, etc.

Hell, I wouldn't even leave a damned note. Just another worthless piece of trash written by a worthless piece of trash.



Moon maybe you need to stop trying to please everyone.

Examples if your family choses to practically abandone you as their son Why are you striving so hard for their acceptance? Move on from them the same way they are with you. Don't over analyze how to change them because they see no wrong.

As for me talk to me not air it on public forums(Just saying) communication goes along ways when you take time to talk to a person whose always there. Stop pushing me away.

Your job: Look into taking college courses for something you'd be good at besides fixing food equipment.

As for our society live your life and learn to be happy. They have to want to change and its obvious they don't want change otherwise this world would be a better place.

As for suicide as long as I'm around I won't let you make that choice.

I think a lot of your issue is you've got major cabin fever like you've told me before. We've not had an actual vacation to really get away. We can do this by taking Amber out and preparing her for her license. Begin getting her on disciplining herself to save for a car.

Lastly don't give up there are people who love and care for you. Giving up allows others to win.
¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨* •☆Have a wonderful day! ☆•*•.¸¸¸.•*¨* * It's good to look at those we love with fresh eyes whenever we can to remind us how lucky we are to have their light in our lives.
User avatar
JennC03
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 586
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:13 am
Location: Lebanon, Virginia

Re: The role of a man...

Postby moonshadow » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:54 pm

JennC03 wrote:Moon maybe you need to stop trying to please everyone.


I'm not trying to please everyone, I realize that's impossible. Bean, I think you're missing the point of my post above. This isn't about finding acceptance in society, it's more about accepting yourself, and assessing my personal value.

As for me talk to me not air it on public forums(Just saying) communication goes along ways when you take time to talk to a person whose always there.

I understand what you're saying, however with all due respect, only men, and certain men at that, I feel can really understand where I'm coming from, hence my posting this on this forum. Women do have their own demons they have to work out, and I'm not making light of that, but this is a man issue, and it helps to discuss it with men. Please don't take it personally or be offended. (because frankly that doesn't help)

As for our society live your life and learn to be happy.

That's easier said than done, hence my struggle.

As for suicide as long as I'm around I won't let you make that choice.

Well, despite my desire to, I don't think I have the guts for it anyway. Besides, even today, deep down, buried in the pit of my soul there is a glimmer of hope. I simply grows dimmer as I get older, and I wonder if it's an illusion? This further galvanizes my view that there either a) is no God, or b) God is female, because whatever it is hasn't answered my call to go home by other means, and I've been asking for years...

Why do you think I am not afraid to wear girly stuff in the open around here....? Think about it... What's the worse that could happen?? I get put out of my misery? Another social pawn off the chess board?

Giving up allows others to win.

There was never a battle, just mental slavery.
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 4048
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am

Re: The role of a man...

Postby JennC03 » Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:33 pm

moonshadow wrote:
JennC03 wrote:Moon maybe you need to stop trying to please everyone.


I'm not trying to please everyone, I realize that's impossible. Bean, I think you're missing the point of my post above. This isn't about finding acceptance in society, it's more about accepting yourself, and assessing my personal value.

As for me talk to me not air it on public forums(Just saying) communication goes along ways when you take time to talk to a person whose always there.

I understand what you're saying, however with all due respect, only men, and certain men at that, I feel can really understand where I'm coming from, hence my posting this on this forum. Women do have their own demons they have to work out, and I'm not making light of that, but this is a man issue, and it helps to discuss it with men. Please don't take it personally or be offended. (because frankly that doesn't help)

As for our society live your life and learn to be happy.

That's easier said than done, hence my struggle.

As for suicide as long as I'm around I won't let you make that choice.

Well, despite my desire to, I don't think I have the guts for it anyway. Besides, even today, deep down, buried in the pit of my soul there is a glimmer of hope. I simply grows dimmer as I get older, and I wonder if it's an illusion? This further galvanizes my view that there either a) is no God, or b) God is female, because whatever it is hasn't answered my call to go home by other means, and I've been asking for years...

Why do you think I am not afraid to wear girly stuff in the open around here....? Think about it... What's the worse that could happen?? I get put out of my misery? Another social pawn off the chess board?

Giving up allows others to win.

There was never a battle, just mental slavery.



I guess I just don't understand however if you even was to succeed in suicide that leaves me feeling alone. I'd feel as if I've failed you in some way. While it may eliminate your pain mine would be indefinite. I do understand a little bit just not everything. Maybe someone on here can relate.
¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨* •☆Have a wonderful day! ☆•*•.¸¸¸.•*¨* * It's good to look at those we love with fresh eyes whenever we can to remind us how lucky we are to have their light in our lives.
User avatar
JennC03
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 586
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:13 am
Location: Lebanon, Virginia

Re: The role of a man...

Postby moonshadow » Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:37 pm

Consider this example:

You mention finding another job, and taking courses to those ends....

Lets look at that for a moment. When my skirting was outed at work, it didn't go over too well. It was a harsh reminder of my role as a man, and that is, in this case, to do my job, to repair things, to keep the company's equipment in working order. Anything outside of that, even during off duty time, unless it's socially acceptable, opens me up to judgement. It was decided to allow me to stay, and I was told "off the record" that it "might be a good idea to stay out of their stores while like that". So what does this tell me? This tells me that as a man, I I want to make a living there, I'm required to essentially censor a part of me that makes me who I am... I can't even go to the off duty company picnic unless I wear trousers, essentially, to be what they want me to be. And lets face it Jenn, even my "friends" at work would rather I not come around dressed freely.

If I find another job, naturally I'd search one that was progressive in LGBT issues... but why? I'm not LGB or T. Simply because even in these types of companies, you just can't be "a man in a skirt", no, you have to be a trans-woman.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

The conservatives and traditionalist want me to stop all this foolishness and "act like a man".

The liberals and progressives will only let me sit at their table if I claim to be a "woman"....

I'm not allowed to just be me.... (but women are)

It really sucks!

I don't want to have to check the trans box when I apply for a job so Affirmative Action will protect me. What I WANT is for society to stop making me feel like sh!t all of the time for being what I am!
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 4048
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am

Re: The role of a man...

Postby JennC03 » Sun Oct 15, 2017 6:02 pm

moonshadow wrote:Consider this example:

You mention finding another job, and taking courses to those ends....

Lets look at that for a moment. When my skirting was outed at work, it didn't go over too well. It was a harsh reminder of my role as a man, and that is, in this case, to do my job, to repair things, to keep the company's equipment in working order. Anything outside of that, even during off duty time, unless it's socially acceptable, opens me up to judgement. It was decided to allow me to stay, and I was told "off the record" that it "might be a good idea to stay out of their stores while like that". So what does this tell me? This tells me that as a man, I I want to make a living there, I'm required to essentially censor a part of me that makes me who I am... I can't even go to the off duty company picnic unless I wear trousers, essentially, to be what they want me to be. And lets face it Jenn, even my "friends" at work would rather I not come around dressed freely.

If I find another job, naturally I'd search one that was progressive in LGBT issues... but why? I'm not LGB or T. Simply because even in these types of companies, you just can't be "a man in a skirt", no, you have to be a trans-woman.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

The conservatives and traditionalist want me to stop all this foolishness and "act like a man".

The liberals and progressives will only let me sit at their table if I claim to be a "woman"....

I'm not allowed to just be me.... (but women are)

It really sucks!

I don't want to have to check the trans box when I apply for a job so Affirmative Action will protect me. What I WANT is for society to stop making me feel like sh!t all of the time for being what I am!




I see where you're going and yes men should have the same equal rights us women do. I don't understand people. You know pedophiles can get jobs anywhere they can. Lie on their applications and work a good number of years until they're outed as one. You wear a skirt never been convicted of anything in your life not even a traffic ticket, and they treat you like you're a prisoner. Its bad enough you're prisoned in your own mind its out in the world too.

Yes I feel this way a lot and its a sad feeling to have to endure. All the thoughts that run through your mind and you think hey if I end my life will it ever fix the way someone is or will they still be the same butthole like before? Then if any change is made in anything it's too late because you're no longer around to enjoy it.
¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨* •☆Have a wonderful day! ☆•*•.¸¸¸.•*¨* * It's good to look at those we love with fresh eyes whenever we can to remind us how lucky we are to have their light in our lives.
User avatar
JennC03
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 586
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:13 am
Location: Lebanon, Virginia

Re: The role of a man...

Postby Fred in Skirts » Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:22 pm

Moon and Jenn, I think though you have hit the nail on the head it was a glancing blow. We as humans are a strange lot (to put it as one alien from Sci Fi once said "Bags of mostly water". We have a mind that is one of the most advance in nature, we have feelings, that can be hurt faster than a speeding bullet, and we need companionship more than any other animal in the world. We crave that in many ways and if we don't find it or enough of it we become morose and desire to harm ourselves. I live alone not necessarily of my own volition, but I manage to enjoy what I have. I decided after my medical problem that started me wearing skirts to continue to wear them. This separated me even farther from the world of my parents and my upbringing. At my age (74) I do not give a damn about society any more or how I come across to people in general. My youngest daughter accepts my skirts as well as my grandsons, to them it is not weird at all. In fact my middle grandson wears kilts and has actually made one to wear.

All this to say my dear friends is don't over think it. Let sleeping dogs lie as they say. Trying to understand this world will drive you insane. But being a little crazy never hurt anyone. In fact it helps. [0]

You have each other to hold to and do so all of the time, never let the world come between you and your love for each other.

Make love not worry!!! :lol:


[0] There is a big difference between insane and crazy. Insane is a disease and being crazy is the only way to survive.
Fred :kiltdance:

:whistle: Hi I am Fred and I wear skirts and dresses all of the time. :hooray:
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not"
Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
User avatar
Fred in Skirts
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 2235
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:48 pm
Location: Southeast Corner of Aiken County, SC USA

Re: The role of a man...

Postby oldsalt1 » Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:43 am

First I want to say that I think the two of you need to sit down with professional help . In doing your own research you seek out references that agree with the way that you are feeling instead of trying to find the root of problems.

We are all not going to be super stars. we have to be able to find our own little place in the world and be happy with the results.

My own opinion. please take it as only that. OK so maybe you haven't been able to reach the level of success that you want in the working business side of your life.OK so lets face it wearing a skirt does not help the issue. Just maybe in your subconscious you are using your wearing skirts as a convenient reason for your not reaching the level of success that you want.

If you are trying to compete in the world you can not win if give yourself a major handy cap before you start.

Just maybe it is time to put away the skirts and just get out there and do what you have to do to reach that level of success.

You have worth you have a family to take care of and provide for.I don't think that Jenn thinks you are expendable and I am sure that your daughter doesen't .

Please get help Dan
User avatar
oldsalt1
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1932
Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:25 pm
Location: Long Island, New York

Re: The role of a man...

Postby moonshadow » Mon Oct 16, 2017 2:37 am

Thanks for the responses.

There may very well be a lot of hidden truth in what you say OldSalt. I'm pretty sure however that being a big "success" isn't really high on my list of wants. I'm actually not very materialistic. I've had issues being taken seriously at various jobs long before the skirts came into question. I just have a big character flaw I need to root out one way or the other.

I have considered giving the skirts and religious stuff a rest though, not because it's giving me undue grief, but simply to cut out the background noise so I can clear my head. I do enjoy wearing them, but I've already started cutting out the "negative" places where I run into problems, choosing to wear them only when there are few people around. We'll see... the Jury is still out on that...

I think a big part of my problem is I tend to overthink everything, and then over-talk about my results.

As far as the professional help. The advise is sound, however I really can't afford it right now, besides, I'm reasonably sure their answer is just going to be in a bottle of pills. Nah... I'd rather work through this the hard way. Do not worry, I'm NOT going to kill myself.

I do think I need to take a step back for a while and take some time to figure out exactly what direction I want to go henceforth. I also need to decide if I want to confront my family about their shunning me (which by the way predates my skirts, so that's not the reason), or cut them out of my life and be done with them once in for all. Not sure yet, but I can't continue to go on in limbo like this forever.

Thanks for the responses.
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 4048
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am

Re: The role of a man...

Postby JennC03 » Mon Oct 16, 2017 2:57 am

oldsalt1 wrote:First I want to say that I think the two of you need to sit down with professional help . In doing your own research you seek out references that agree with the way that you are feeling instead of trying to find the root of problems.

We are all not going to be super stars. we have to be able to find our own little place in the world and be happy with the results.

My own opinion. please take it as only that. OK so maybe you haven't been able to reach the level of success that you want in the working business side of your life.OK so lets face it wearing a skirt does not help the issue. Just maybe in your subconscious you are using your wearing skirts as a convenient reason for your not reaching the level of success that you want.

If you are trying to compete in the world you can not win if give yourself a major handy cap before you start.

Just maybe it is time to put away the skirts and just get out there and do what you have to do to reach that level of success.

You have worth you have a family to take care of and provide for.I don't think that Jenn thinks you are expendable and I am sure that your daughter doesen't .

Please get help Dan



Thanks for the reply. I've already gotten help and I'm on anti-depressants. My replies to moon are examples of what I use to deal with in my head. I've,been there but in all honesty I don't worry over who likes me and who,doesn't. Its mind over matter I don't mind and they don't matter. I have a lot to live for and am happy and content with my life.
¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨* •☆Have a wonderful day! ☆•*•.¸¸¸.•*¨* * It's good to look at those we love with fresh eyes whenever we can to remind us how lucky we are to have their light in our lives.
User avatar
JennC03
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 586
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:13 am
Location: Lebanon, Virginia

Re: The role of a man...

Postby oldsalt1 » Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:17 pm

I don' think I know anybody who hasn't had problems with family. If its been a while give it a shot If nothing comes of it nothing lost . Maybe start by trying to connect on the internet. that could be a painless way .

Hey moon your mothers family name is known and respected in town , and since I only live about 3 miles from there , you could always give me an address and I could drive over :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
oldsalt1
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1932
Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:25 pm
Location: Long Island, New York

Re: The role of a man...

Postby oldsalt1 » Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:24 pm

Hey Moon does your mothers family have anything to do with electrical contracting. Because it just dawned on that is also the last name of the electrician I have been using for work in my houses for the last 15 years
User avatar
oldsalt1
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1932
Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:25 pm
Location: Long Island, New York

Re: The role of a man...

Postby moonshadow » Tue Oct 17, 2017 3:22 am

oldsalt1 wrote:Hey Moon does your mothers family have anything to do with electrical contracting. Because it just dawned on that is also the last name of the electrician I have been using for work in my houses for the last 15 years


Hi OldSalt,

My mother lives in Pulaski County VA. While I have scattered family about Long Island, they are cousins, second cousins, one Uncle, and other distant relatives I don't hear from. I believe my uncle is/was some kind of a contractor, but last I heard he was living in Pennsylvania, or perhaps it was upstate New York, I can't remember.

On a different matter...

I do want something to be clear, this was not a suicide note. I am NOT going to kill myself, I simply state that I can understand why such a conclusion might be desirable. With the anti-man movement going on these days, in combination with the rule of Nature that for all intents and purposes does make females the more sacred sex (just for logical, procreation reasons alone) it simply has a way of beating me down once in a while.

It's also a matter of being a bit lonely in the world. But I'm fortunate to have a good understanding wife that seems as though she'll stick with me through the trails and drama. But I've also received a few uplifting emails and PM's since I started this post, and I thank those who sent the words of encouragement. (you know who you are)

OldSalt and Fred, I also thank you two for thinking about us, and offering your advice. Your thoughtfulness won't be overlooked.

-MS
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 4048
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am

Re: The role of a man...

Postby Darryl » Tue Oct 17, 2017 3:29 am

Expendable? Not if I can help it.
[list=]
When faced with imminent draft, I enlisted in the Navy and was able to take my existing vocational school computer programming training and get a computer job with no more risk than any other industrial site.

As a sworn peace officer, after the reality that I wasn't being paid enough for the risk hit, I migrated back to the computer world, but this time with Advanced Electronics training and 4.5 years experience.

I've enjoyed firearms and tactical training and have had the benefit of a friend being one of the top trainers in the country who trained some of his other civilian friends and myself and used us as guinea pigs for stuff he was about to surprise the Military guys going over to the sandbox with.

After legal training in the "Judicious Use of Deadly Force" I decided that if I find myself too close to an Active Shooter I and any of my loved ones with me will immediately move to ex-filtrate the area, working as a team. If I am forced to engage the shooter and win - you just got lucky. Otherwise, I hope you are armed and have sufficient training. The police have no legal duty to protect an individual citizen, and I have even less - especially in today's litigious environment.
[/list]

As to skirting:
[list=]
Most people at my church have seen that I wear skirts and dresses and present as a male. Most of the time I 'dress up' for church in a kilt suit or skirt suit but have shown up in other gear from time to time. Once I cam straight from Iroquois Hill to a meeting in a 'cool' A/C environment that lasted about an hour and when we got up to leave my hat was still damp...a friend looked me up and down and commented "Your HAT is sweating. And as time goes on I notice more people outside my immediate circle of friends speaking with me, shaking hands and the like. On Wednesday nights I speak up sometimes and share insights and other items from Scripture and life experience when it seems appropriate."

At work I have shown up in 14th century kilted garb when the RenFair or Highland Games or Celtic Festival is going on...and have shown up in various skirted outfits when called in for an emergency fix. That said, I've begun carrying pants in the car because there are times I have to get on the floor and crawl around or up a ladder to find cabling in the overheads.[/list]

As to design:
[list=]
When first presented, men and women are on quite egalitarian terms. The genders are mentioned almost as an afterthought: "So G-d created Mankind in His own image, in the image of G-d He created him, male and female He created them (Ge 1:27)." The blessings that they received, including dominion over the earth and the charge to subdue it, are all addressed in the plural, indicating that both man and woman would share them.

"It is not good that the man should be alone (Ge 2:18)." - The solution to the problem is obvious: "I will make a help to match him (2:18)." (Or, in Rosenzweig’s words: "a helper equal to him.") Strangely, the biblical narrative does not proceed directly with Eve’s creation, but, rather, tells of how G-d created specimens of all of the living creatures and brought them before Adam so that he might name them. The purpose of this interruption in the narrative becomes clear when we read its concluding verse: "And man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for the man there was not found a help to match him [a helper equal to him]" (Ge 2:20).

Everything less than this is due to humanity "missing the mark" and failing to love G-d and love our neighbor as ourselves.
[/list]

Everyone has to make up their own mind. Weigh the actual or at least the perceived risks and decide to seek a more liberal environment or make the best of what they have. I live in a town that is considered one of the most liberal in the state, on the other hand Having had to move from the Highlands in 2000, I now find myself in the southwestern part of town along Dixie Highway (more "rednecks" in the population).

I've always been an introvert and not all that gregarious, but it appears that making the effort to walk up and greet people, ask if they would like to go to lunch and otherwise get to know them and let them get to know you helps...they say "he is a normal guy" and you're either OK or someone they like. Be helpful, write a postcard, send a text, make a call. If they need help doing something, lend a hand. Then when they see you in a nice little burgundy sweater dress it's just "oh! well, that's just Darryl."

In some of my earlier research, it was stated in a couple of sources that every time a woman wore pants back in the day and someone else gave them grief over it, or even today if a woman wants to "think outside the box" and be different...a friend of theirs seems to always be available to hurl charges of sexism, insensitivity, and oppression back at them. In general, men won't have this kind of support network because they don't work at it...and there is that 'toxic masculinity' society programs into our children in general.

Just sayin'
Darryl
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 549
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:32 am
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA

Re: The role of a man...

Postby moonshadow » Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:11 am

Lots of good points in your post Darryl, thanks for writing it!

I'm going to work on re-centering myself. I think over the last little bit I've gotten away from my core to an extent.

I think I'm overdue for a walk in the mountain....
User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 4048
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am

Next

Return to Off Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: beachlion, Yandex [bot] and 2 guests