Real Men?

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crfriend
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Re: Real Men?

Post by crfriend »

moonshadow wrote:I'd estimate out of 1,000 women, maybe one might be okay with her boyfriend/husband wearing a "women's" skirt. Since the balance of sex power remains in the woman's favor, (we are the chasers, they are the chased) I don't expect this to change any time soon. Most men just want to get laid.... that's it, that's their reason for living, and they're not going to bother with anything that hurts their chances in that endevour.
That's a pretty pessimistic evaluation of the situation if I may say so. I don't think the odds are quite that bad, perhaps, maybe 1/100 -- which is workable.

I have very little trouble starting conversations with women, but the problem is that altogether too many of them don't acquit themselves well at it which puts me off the scent. I'm vastly more interested in finding a smart one (smart ones are vastly more likely to be forward-thinkers) than a classic "beauty". Classic beauty tends to fade with time; a powerful mind, unless something goes very wrong, tends to last a lifetime. Being the sort that cherishes good companionship much more than a simple swapping of bodily fluids, I'd rather go for brains and capability than cute and coyness. Real dolts self-select out very quickly so I don't have to worry about it, and the worst thing that can possibly happen from trying to start up a conversation is nothing -- which is what would have happened if an attempt wasn't made in the first place.

So the odds are long -- they always will be. Be happy with yourself, try in all matters to leave things a bit better than when you arrived, and be good to others. That pays off in the long haul. Furthermore, I'll point out that it's frequently better to be by yourself than with somebody that's a bad match; I learnt that the hard way in the years before my ex-'s ultimate demise.
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denimini
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Re: Real Men?

Post by denimini »

I have a theory ................ : it is the men that are obsessed about masculinity that have the most self-doubt. That is why they need to prove it in an over the top manner, all the time.
Those of us who are confident of who we are, don't need to prove anything.
crfriend wrote: That's a pretty pessimistic evaluation of the situation if I may say so. I don't think the odds are quite that bad, perhaps, maybe 1/100 -- which is workable.
I do agree with Carl there, which means there are thousands out there. Also that skirts really are a good filter, saving a heap of wasted time and heartache.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia
Grok
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Re: Real Men?

Post by Grok »

A recall a comment from a kilting forum, regarding womens attitudes towards a kilted man.....

They either love it, or hate it.

It has been theorized that those who love it see a very high level of self confidence in the kilted. Because such men are willing to be very obviously nonconformist, they must be self confident.

And self confidence in another person is appealing.

And such women must be reasonably intelligent, because they aren't confused by the one pipe/two pipe thing.



I don't know about other designs, kilts may be an exception because they are recognized as mens wear.
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Re: Real Men?

Post by partlyscot »

crfriend wrote:
I have very little trouble starting conversations with women, but the problem is that altogether too many of them don't acquit themselves well at it which puts me off the scent. I'm vastly more interested in finding a smart one (smart ones are vastly more likely to be forward-thinkers) than a classic "beauty".
Many years ago, I met a young lady at a group I belonged to, and was interested in her, but soon gave up, as she had a very typical conversational style for the time. I would describe it as a bit...simpering? Very giggly, not saying anything of consequences, etc etc...

What it boiled down to was she wasn't very interesting to talk to. A year or so later, turns out she's getting engaged to one of the other group members. At one point in the evening it was announced, I ended up talking to her more extensively, and it turns out she is more than capable of holding a conversation about a range of subjects, and turns out to be at least as intelligent as myself.

I'm still smiling, but the smile is becoming somewhat fixed. Inside I'm screaming.."Agghhh! Why has she been hiding her brain all this time?"

With age comes at least some wisdom, and I know now that social pressure has for the longest time taught women that they won't catch a man by seeming smart. It has improved, but I wish it weren't still so common. I know there are still social pressures and behaviours on both sides, and I try and watch myself for them, but I still find myself doing this stuff from time to time.
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Re: Real Men?

Post by Grok »

partlyscot wrote:
I know now that social pressure has for the longest time taught women that they won't catch a man by seeming smart.
I wonder how many women have lost potential mates because playing dumb back fired.

An intelligent man can enjoy the company of a smart woman.
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Re: Real Men?

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Grok wrote:An intelligent man can enjoy the company of a smart woman.
It's more general than that. Intelligent men do enjoy the company of intelligent women. Anything less tends to be boring and fleeting. "Yes, she was cute, adorable even, but she didn't have a clue about astrophysics. We never really connected."

There's a reason I still chuckle about the introductory line my then-extremely-intelligent ex- used on me at a wine-tasting: "What's your favourite computer?" and who was not expecting the response I gave ("The PDP-10") nor was I expecting hers ("That's mine, too. How do you know about it?") and then acquitted herself extremely well in a detailed discussion on the evolution of computer instruction-sets and how the designers of same could be traced from company to company based on hardware design. 'Tis a pity Alzheimer's and a couple of strokes took that wonderful mind away... Smart gals get smart guys (and vice-versa). It just works that way. It's a shame that many women think that they need to appear dumb to impress the guys.

The world needs more smart women and more women who don't suppress the smarts when on the hunt.
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Happy-N-Skirts
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Re: Real Men?

Post by Happy-N-Skirts »

My wife graduated from college with straight A's and is a very attractive petite blonde who weighs the same and has the same figure as she did in high school. People have actually guessed she is my daughter. I am eleven months older than she is. She retired from a fulfilling career and now writes songs, composes music, sings and performs. She also supports my wearing skirts. We each have skills, aptitudes and preferences that overlap. We have learned a lot from each other. Cute, adorable, all that and brains too.
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Re: Real Men?

Post by moonshadow »

crfriend wrote: I don't think the odds are quite that bad, perhaps, maybe 1/100 -- which is workable.
Mmmm... I don't know if I'd go that far, that's a pretty optimistic number, maybe valid up that way? But 'round here, I'll hold to my one in a thousand estimate. Maybe one in 500 or so if it's a college town.... I'd even say there are entire counties deep in the hills where you won't find a single one.

But to be fair, I don't think all of it is air-headedness or bozos, a lot of women around here are just very traditional, they don't wear trousers, and they expect the husband to do his part and take care of the family, not take on such activities as gender bending or wearing anything that would be considered in any way unusual.

Consider my situation where my job was in peril over this, well many women around here wouldn't want to tangle with me with such a practice because if I lost my job I wouldn't be able to provide for my wife and children any longer and they consider that quite an offense for a man. You see, in these situations, gender roles aren't just what you wear, it's a lifestyle, what you do. Men wear trousers and work, whether it be on a farm, in a mine, or elsewhere, he brings home enough to provide for the whole family. The wife of the house is the homemaker, raises the children, preserves the vegetables, sews, cooks, etc. That's what these people were raised to do, they know of no other way. It's not really their fault when you think about it. It's just all they have ever known. So they will naturally reject any man who would be contrary to that lifestyle.
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crfriend
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Re: Real Men?

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moonshadow wrote:I don't know if I'd go that far [as 1 in 100], that's a pretty optimistic number, maybe valid up that way? But 'round here, I'll hold to my one in a thousand estimate. Maybe one in 500 or so if it's a college town.... I'd even say there are entire counties deep in the hills where you won't find a single one.
With odds like that, I'd be so forlorn that I'd have to move away just to keep a shred of sanity. There's also the point that given what I do professionally I'd never be able to make a living there in the first place.

I may be a bit of a down type much of the time, but hope does spring eternal in my heart of hearts. Heed well the light at the end of the tunnel. It may be an oncoming train or a burglar's torch, but it might also be the exit from the dark chill of underground (especially if it's moving at your walking pace).

I am cheered by Happy-N-Skirt's story about his wife -- that's the way it's supposed to work.
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Of machismo and moronity

Post by crfriend »

Caution: US-centric rant follows.

The place I take lunch at these days seems to have been on a bender for "country and western" music for the past week or so and it finally started getting to me this noon whilst I was contemplating what I need to do in the wee hours of tomorrow morning.

To start with, I've always thought modern C&W lyrics to be inane at best, but the more recent lot are downright puerile -- it's all sex, trucks, and juvenile macho imagery -- a Milquetoast attempt at "rap" without the beef. Blech. When did this rot start setting it? When was that sort of world worthy of inhabiting or even remotely desiring to? When did shallowness and idiocy begin to rule the day? (That was rhetorical.)

It was the '80s, of course, and I suppose the touchstone moment was one Christmas day when the press breathlessly announced that Queen Ronnie (Reagan) and his golden-retriever wife had exchanged gift pick-'em-up-trucks. Shortly thereafter, when the real employment economy nose-dived, we got into the world of "workin' boys" doing "handyman bits" without credentials, talent, or work-ethic because real employment no longer existed -- and "country music" boomed at about the same time. To parody the already hilarious "Lumberjack Song", "Well I'm a workin' boy and I'm OK, I drive my truck and I try to get laid. I drink some beer, I bend some nails, I pee on the nearest tree..." And it seems that it's only spiralled downhill from there. Lovely.

And so we have it that the above (or, perhaps, their even more degenerate progeny) seem to be the class that calls the shots socially today. No wonder it's hard in many places to find islands of sanity, and nigh well impossible in others (sorry, Moon). Urban cowboys behaving badly. Just the thing we need. How nice.

I am tempted to resort to the immortal line of, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." but cannot; I need hope to survive. Hope that maybe, just perhaps, on an off-chance even, that sanity might once again reign and that idiocy and puerile fantasy be banished into the nether regions where they so belong. My hope is a small flame, guttering most of the time, and feeble at the best -- but it's there nonetheless -- and as long as I have breath I'll try to keep it alight. And, perhaps, when that last breath escapes me, a blast of wind from my skirt as I collapse one last time, will light it brightly, perhaps to even explode into brilliance (oh, wait; that'd be from methane and hydrogen sulphide).

Nice try. Enjoy your endless repeats of Kid Rock. I'm going back to the masters. (Says he as he cues up the finale to Saint Saens' 3rd Symphony.)
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Re: Real Men?

Post by moonshadow »

crfriend wrote: Enjoy your endless repeats of Kid Rock.
Who? Never heard of him! Well, I take that back, I've heard the name, but I don't know that I've ever heard any of the music. (I assume that's what he or she does)

Then again, I can't remember the last time I actually listened to terrestrial radio.

As far as country music goes, I enjoy some of the stuff from the 80's and 90's. The 70's was too redneck sexual for me and the 00's and beyond is just a load of ultra-conservative bull sh!t. "Wella let me singya a little song... 'bout mama, and guns, and gawd...." :roll: and lets not leave out the ladies, which when you really dig right down to the bare bones lyrics is actually radical (misandrist) feminism with a twang.

God only knows how many pickup's have gotten keyed and tires slashed over the years because the babys daddy glanced towards another woman, and mama justifies it because she heard it in a country song.

Remember "Pass it on down" from Alabama....? that was back when country music had some real principles... now it's just DRILL DRILL DRILL.... F__K MOTHER NATURE! GOD BLESS THE USA! BAN ALL THE MUSLIMS! :roll: Modern country music is nothing more than sex and/or right wing propaganda.

I know a lot of you don't like rappers, but I have to say, I've broken down many of the lyrics, and at least a lot of them describe the plight of the typical American male.
-Andrea
The old hillbilly from the coal fields of the Appalachian mountains currently living like there's no tomorrow on the west coast.
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