Progress - maybe lack of it

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
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crfriend
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by crfriend »

Barleymower wrote: Mon Oct 10, 2022 7:59 pmMy daughter explained things. She said: he doesn't see many if any men in a skirt. For all he knew you were transitioning (I nearly was :D). He was just being polite. I didn't take it badly.
Good. Here's the magic. If the comment was not clearly tinged with sarcasm or mockery there is precisely no reason to take it badly at all as it's likely simply a mistake based on incomplete information. And mistakes based on incomplete information are trivially corrected and solved. No worries at all.

It sounds like you managed to dodge a bullet with the transitioning matter. Happy news indeed.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Barleymower
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by Barleymower »

crfriend wrote: Mon Oct 10, 2022 9:59 pm
It sounds like you managed to dodge a bullet with the transitioning matter. Happy news indeed.
I do appreciate the discussion. I don't really have many people to talk to about this. It's quite shocking for people to hear.
In reply it is happy news. I'm not however resting on my lorels. Its not something that will ever go away. It's hard wired in. It's a case of how best to deal with it. My sympathies are with those worse afflicted than me. It would be agonising. I can liken it to a earworm - a song that goes around and around in your head driving you mad. People are humming it everywhere you go.
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by ScotL »

Barleymower wrote: Tue Oct 11, 2022 11:31 am
crfriend wrote: Mon Oct 10, 2022 9:59 pm
It sounds like you managed to dodge a bullet with the transitioning matter. Happy news indeed.
I do appreciate the discussion. I don't really have many people to talk to about this. It's quite shocking for people to hear.
In reply it is happy news. I'm not however resting on my lorels. Its not something that will ever go away. It's hard wired in. It's a case of how best to deal with it. My sympathies are with those worse afflicted than me. It would be agonising. I can liken it to a earworm - a song that goes around and around in your head driving you mad. People are humming it everywhere you go.
Please don’t take this the wrong way as I’m just a curious individual. The whole transition thing. Some women wear more manly clothes than I do. Would you still transition if you still had to wear male clothing?

I’m not trying to boil down the transition thing down to just a clothing choice, that would be absolutely wrong. I know there’s way more to it.

But I’m curious as to how much the clothing choices play a role. None? Minimal? Some? More than some? Oh, and I’m not at all trying to suggest that if you were able to wear womens clothing without judgement, you wouldn’t want to transition.

I think the biggest problem I see with transitioning is we don’t discuss it in a meaningful way to truly understand it. I’m not interested in transitioning, so I just don’t have the insider knowledge of what goes on inside. But, like I said, I’m curious.

Sorry if this comes off poorly. My interest is to learn and understand.
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by Barleymower »

ScotL wrote: Tue Oct 11, 2022 5:24 pm
Please don’t take this the wrong way as I’m just a curious individual. The whole transition thing. Some women wear more manly clothes than I do. Would you still transition if you still had to wear male clothing?

I’m not trying to boil down the transition thing down to just a clothing choice, that would be absolutely wrong. I know there’s way more to it.

But I’m curious as to how much the clothing choices play a role. None? Minimal? Some? More than some? Oh, and I’m not at all trying to suggest that if you were able to wear women's clothing without judgement, you wouldn’t want to transition.

I think the biggest problem I see with transitioning is we don’t discuss it in a meaningful way to truly understand it. I’m not interested in transitioning, so I just don’t have the insider knowledge of what goes on inside. But, like I said, I’m curious.

Sorry if this comes off poorly. My interest is to learn and understand.
It's a good question however potentially outside the limits forum so I'll keep it brief.

In my opinion clothes are the expression of our inner self. My earliest recollections are clothing based. I was drawn to woman clothes from the moment I could make a choice. I was desperate to wear a skirt to school. Now at 56 I work from home and I have 'options'. Today I'm dressed in a John Lewis navy blue soft pleated plisse skirt.
https://www.johnlewis.com/noa-noa-pliss ... k/p5967819
It made me happy all day.

If a person is to transition, then every fibre of their being needs to yearn to be the opposite gender. Clothes are important, men's clothes make a man feel manly. Woman's clothes make women feel feminine and womanly. The inside person, the soul will always yearn for that external expression. Ultimately, genuine transitioning is not a choice.
rode_kater
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by rode_kater »

ScotL wrote: Tue Oct 11, 2022 5:24 pm I think the biggest problem I see with transitioning is we don’t discuss it in a meaningful way to truly understand it. I’m not interested in transitioning, so I just don’t have the insider knowledge of what goes on inside. But, like I said, I’m curious.
Not really the place, but two anecdotes I've heard when I asked the question that might help:

* contrast it with anorexia: with anorexia the person looks in the mirror and sees something other than reality. A trans-person looks in the mirror and sees reality exactly as it is, and it causes distress.

* or like phantom limbs: An FtM trans-person who brain triggers every time they cross their legs with "whoa! something's missing here". Or seeing they have breasts but feeling they belong to someone else.

There's various trans-fora on reddit which have many people telling their experiences and it's not fun. In combination with a strict religious upbringing it can be horrible. How much they wish they could just be normal. And that's the one thing that's not possible.
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

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Except “normal” is a word that should never be used to validate the worth of a person.
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TSH
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by TSH »

ScotL wrote: Wed Oct 12, 2022 12:23 am Except “normal” is a word that should never be used to validate the worth of a person.
Wish I could upvote this a thousand times. I wish we had an upvote system to begin with.
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by ScotL »

TSH wrote: Wed Oct 12, 2022 1:40 am
ScotL wrote: Wed Oct 12, 2022 12:23 am Except “normal” is a word that should never be used to validate the worth of a person.
Wish I could upvote this a thousand times. I wish we had an upvote system to begin with.
It’s ‘funny’ how when it’s cool not to be normal, abnormal is awesome. Like, “wow what a maverick!” Or “who wants to be normal”. But then when people start being themselves, it ain’t cool anymore. You can hear people say “why can’t he just act normal” or answer “cause it ain’t normal” when they’re asked a the “why” question
Barleymower
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by Barleymower »

Capture.JPG
I've said before in the past that I struggle with school playground. Standing there in a skirt can be hard going.
I have been a few times it is never easy. But today I had the perfect excuse. IT'S FREEZEING HERE -3.5c which is about as cold as it gets for us. Nobody wears a skirt, not without leggings or thick tights. So I thought men in skirts are hard enough to wear a skirt no matter what the weather. I dropped my son off in my black pleated skirt, no tights, no leggings. Acturally it was fine I was warm enough.
Have a great day everyone
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FLbreezy
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by FLbreezy »

That's a great look, I can't imagine anyone having an issue with what you're wearing! We don't get very cold here (although it's dropped below freezing a few times as of late) but I feel like a decent weight skirt/kilt traps some air forms an insulating layer as long as the wind is not too bad.
Barleymower
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by Barleymower »

I like the black skirt it is good for all occassions, it can be dressed up or dressed down. The mix with brown wooly jumper is very comfortable and not that cold
I've just found Seasalt and bought a few of their skirts. They have some nice styles without being over the top. I'll probably keep them for spring / summer and go to the beach in them. happy days.
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by Coder »

That's a look I'd wear! Well done.
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Re: Progress - maybe lack of it

Post by Barleymower »

Thanks Coder, I prefer brighter colours but for playground pickup it works well. I put a few pounds over Christmas I want to be about 8lb lighter by spring and wear some brighter clothes with tees.
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