Still have problems outside my own house

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.

Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby hairy » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:28 am

I've had a good bag of mixed replies, so thanks to you all.
My daughter is visiting today and staying for a week she will probably push me and give me confidence to ignore neighbours and do what I want.
Happy-N-skirts, your neighbours lawyers are laughing all the way to the bank.
JoePublic, The kids would only find out about my naturism if they go trying to peek through my dense hedge to see if I'm skirted. Naturism in the UK is not illegal but I don't want people trying to look at me.
I do sometimes pop just outside the garden to water the plants, get something from the car, but I do it fast and hope no one has seen that man up the road wearing a skirt. That's not really how I want to live my life, I want to be free in my own mind to walk about in British summer 24/7, hopefully I will manage to build the confidence this summer. Its just the oddest thing to be able to walk around where there are hundreds of people when I'm away from home, yet find it so difficult to pop outside my own garden incase one person MIGHT see me.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Kilty » Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:04 pm

hairy wrote:I've had a good bag of mixed replies, so thanks to you all.
My daughter is visiting today and staying for a week she will probably push me and give me confidence to ignore neighbours and do what I want.
Happy-N-skirts, your neighbours lawyers are laughing all the way to the bank.
JoePublic, The kids would only find out about my naturism if they go trying to peek through my dense hedge to see if I'm skirted. Naturism in the UK is not illegal but I don't want people trying to look at me.
I do sometimes pop just outside the garden to water the plants, get something from the car, but I do it fast and hope no one has seen that man up the road wearing a skirt. That's not really how I want to live my life, I want to be free in my own mind to walk about in British summer 24/7, hopefully I will manage to build the confidence this summer. Its just the oddest thing to be able to walk around where there are hundreds of people when I'm away from home, yet find it so difficult to pop outside my own garden incase one person MIGHT see me.
Let them see you! Interest will soon fade after you become part of the furniture. I'm sure you dress in a way that complements the skirt... but post a pic so I can be sure :wink:
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby skirtyscot » Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:34 pm

Hairy, you seem to be in an unusual position compared to a lot of us. We have (or had at first: mine relented) family who object to us going outside skirted; you seem to be stopping yourself. This means that you are actually in a much easier situation. All you need to do is to take your courage in both hands and step outside. Your neighbours really won't care after they get over the surprise. They might have a bit of a laugh, so let them.

If you go to the shopping centre 5 miles away, sooner or later somebody from your street will see you there. If they think you're ashamed of your skirts they will have a lot more of a laugh. Far better to grasp the nettle, ignore the 2 or 3 Neanderthals who can't get over it, and be yourself.
Keep on skirting,

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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby oldsalt1 » Mon Jul 16, 2018 11:11 pm

He is right if you wear them anywhere near the house eventually they will find out.

I take walks for exercise .I usually due it at dusk and in a part of town that isn't too crowded.

One night I am out for my walk and I am on the last leg . I turn the corner and I pass the local church . during the week it is usually empty.

Well this particular night they were having a concert at dusk night and just about the entire local population was out there sitting on the church lawn. All I could do was pick up my pace a little and continue my walk.

I came to the conclusion if the people matter it will work out if not screw them
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Feeling freedom » Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:18 pm

I soooooo understand how you are feeling. I still struggle with similar anxieties. It is easier elsewhere because no one knows you and you know the possibility of encountering the same people is low. People you see daily such as neighbours, running inside is to keep any confrontations at bay. I have been going over many of these issues with my counsellor and she asked me this question..... "if I was to go in a store and see someone who is dressed differently would you make any remarks, be mean to them, shame them or even be violent to them?" My answer was "of coarse not!!" She then said to me "if you wouldn't then why would they?" There is a cognitive disorder that all us humans have a challenge with and that is called "fortune telling" or "mind reading". Does what the neighbours think really matter when it come to decisions in your life? Do a search on the 7 top cognitive disorders and don't do them, everyone has been a victim of them all at one time or another. Life gets a lot easier that way.

I have learned that I was preventing myself from going anywhere because of that and start dealing with it by accepting myself that I wear a skirt and wear it! My counsellor is downtown in my local suburb town near Vancouver. So I did exactly what she said and went into the very same store she pointed to through her window during my session. Take a look at my string "Men can rock skirts too!" and that is what I wore. Then I did it again but also went to another store, then I started showing up to my sessions in my skirt, the drug store, BANK MEETINGS (talk about people who know me). Any of my neighbours could have been around.

I have experienced the anxiety go down the more I go out. I do admit I sometimes even fall back into being ashamed and don't go out but that is all part of the healing. If you having trouble on your own i recommend a counsellor.
Personal style is important to me. Even when my outfits may contain skirts, tights and great ankle or riding length boots! I enjoy fashion and am excited to get in on the conversations with the like minded!
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby hairy » Wed Jul 18, 2018 10:38 am

kilty wrote:
hairy wrote:I've had a good bag of mixed replies, so thanks to you all.
My daughter is visiting today and staying for a week she will probably push me and give me confidence to ignore neighbours and do what I want.
Happy-N-skirts, your neighbours lawyers are laughing all the way to the bank.
JoePublic, The kids would only find out about my naturism if they go trying to peek through my dense hedge to see if I'm skirted. Naturism in the UK is not illegal but I don't want people trying to look at me.
I do sometimes pop just outside the garden to water the plants, get something from the car, but I do it fast and hope no one has seen that man up the road wearing a skirt. That's not really how I want to live my life, I want to be free in my own mind to walk about in British summer 24/7, hopefully I will manage to build the confidence this summer. Its just the oddest thing to be able to walk around where there are hundreds of people when I'm away from home, yet find it so difficult to pop outside my own garden incase one person MIGHT see me.
Let them see you! Interest will soon fade after you become part of the furniture. I'm sure you dress in a way that complements the skirt... but post a pic so I can be sure :wink:


I would gladly post a pic if only I knew how to make them the right size, that takes me ages. I have plenty of them.
I think its the horrid old woman straight opposite me that I'm having biggest problems with, she got beat up by a 14 year old girl because of her evil ways and got moved here for her safety. As the police said to me she is a very antagonistic woman. I don't give her the time of day, certainly won't be talking to her about skirts. I can see my sister going over and smacking her one day. There are other stupid old women too in my street with not enough to do but talk about others.

I have gone from car to visit someone about 1 mile away, jumped out the car and ran to their door, so yes people in my road will find out sooner or later, its then that I will stop worrying.

I'll post one of my many pics as soon as I find it easy to do.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Sinned » Wed Jul 18, 2018 11:25 am

hairy, you have brought up a point there. The old woman across the road is apparently mean because she got beaten up by a young girl. That must be a terrible situation to go through and then to be forcible moved for safety! Maybe her meanness is just her reaction to that especially if no-one has taken any trouble to show her any warmth.
I know this takes patience and a very christian attitude but have you tried talking to her and ignoring the vindictiveness coming from her? Maybe she hasn't got any friends or family and the loneliness can accentuate badness in a person. Acts of charity and kindness sometimes take a while to achieve results and maybe you don't feel like doing them but whey should her actions influence how you deal with her. I know that they do but hey, don't let her put you off there are plenty of uplifting stories out there about how people have changed as a result of kindness. Just a thought.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby pelmut » Wed Jul 18, 2018 12:09 pm

A woman who kept moving house because she managed to upset every neighbourhood she moved into, moved in next door to a friend of mine along the road.  She started behaving obnoxiously towards my friend and I spent some time every day listening to fresh tales of woe.

When this newcomer realised that I was a friend of her neighbour, she came to my house in a belligerent mood and said "Have you been talking about me behind my back?".  I replied "Yes, of course we have".  She has left us alone ever since.
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby hairy » Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:44 pm

Sinned wrote:hairy, you have brought up a point there. The old woman across the road is apparently mean because she got beaten up by a young girl. That must be a terrible situation to go through and then to be forcible moved for safety! Maybe her meanness is just her reaction to that especially if no-one has taken any trouble to show her any warmth.
I know this takes patience and a very christian attitude but have you tried talking to her and ignoring the vindictiveness coming from her? Maybe she hasn't got any friends or family and the loneliness can accentuate badness in a person. Acts of charity and kindness sometimes take a while to achieve results and maybe you don't feel like doing them but whey should her actions influence how you deal with her. I know that they do but hey, don't let her put you off there are plenty of uplifting stories out there about how people have changed as a result of kindness. Just a thought.

She's not only annoyed people in my town she has also been moved from other towns because of the troble she causes. She's had an ASBO served on her, she drinks all day then goes around in the dark of night damaging property of anyone she don't like. Some people have chatted with her and soon regretted it and stayed away. She has family but they don't want anything to do with her. Her son has now been put in a mental hospital again for smashing her house up. The whole family are head cases and I just wish they would move her again. The police are always at her door, she is very well known by them. People don't like walking past her house.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby crfriend » Wed Jul 18, 2018 4:50 pm

hairy wrote:[...] She's had an ASBO served on her, she drinks all day then goes around in the dark of night damaging property of anyone she don't like. Some people have chatted with her and soon regretted it and stayed away. [...]

It would seem that you're dealing with a toxic personality. How she got that way is effectively irrelevant; it's the operational matter that you must deal with. Ultimately, karma will kick in and she'll get moved again and the process will repeat until nature -- or humanity -- takes its toll.

The next time the coppers bother you, come straight out and ask why. Even point to the possible answer. They'll get it. Note that in many jurisdictions, filing a false police complaint is regarded as a crime -- and if this is the reason you're getting hassled, then entirely likely she has committed said crime. If there's any proof of her damaging the property of others, then the plods are definitely not doing their job.

Sinned -- I'm all for trying to be accommodating, and even taking the time to turn someone, but if the individual is a threat -- direct or indirect -- strict avoidance is the best course of action.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby hairy » Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:33 pm

Anyway I was just thinking how this is a community all about us skirting so I don't want it to get lost by my going on about anti social old women.
As for me going outside my own house in a skirt I need to do what most of you have done and just bite the bullit and do it. Just a bit more courage and it will happen.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Fred in Skirts » Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:19 pm

hairy wrote:Anyway I was just thinking how this is a community all about us skirting so I don't want it to get lost by my going on about anti social old women.
As for me going outside my own house in a skirt I need to do what most of you have done and just bite the bullit and do it. Just a bit more courage and it will happen.

If I could send you a pint of courage I would as I have lots of it. I wear skirts and dresses all of the time and everywhere I go. I present as a man in a skirt or dress and don't give a hoot and hollar about what others think.. They don't control me and don't buy my clothes so they have no say. Just skirt up and do it and don't let the harpy ruin your day, and if she tries, just kick up your heels and laugh in her face. If she becomes violent call the coppers on her that is your right. So stop banging your head on the wall :wall: and go out and enjoy your life in skirts....

Fred
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:whistle: Hi I am Fred and I wear skirts and dresses all of the time. :hooray:
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not"
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby oldsalt1 » Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:26 pm

hairy wrote:Anyway I was just thinking how this is a community all about us skirting so I don't want it to get lost by my going on about anti social old women.
As for me going outside my own house in a skirt I need to do what most of you have done and just bite the bullit and do it. Just a bit more courage and it will happen.



It will come in time don't push it. Don't make a big plan about going out. easiest way get up on a morning that you have some work to do around the inside, and outside put on your skirt. Get involved with the inside work and you will find that you will run outside for something without giving it a second thought.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby crfriend » Wed Jul 18, 2018 7:00 pm

Fred in Skirts wrote:[...] If she becomes violent call the coppers on her that is your right.

No, the right thing to do in this situation is to keep one's distance entirely and ignore the noise. Calling the cops would highly likely cause Hairy more trouble than he needs. In the USA, at least, the standard operating mode is for the cops to arrest the guy no matter what the evidence points up.

On the courage thing, Hairy, OldSalt has some good advice. Get going on something and if the need arises to go out to get something just do. You'll get there eventually. Don't let the haters get you down; they're just trying to bring you to their level. Bear in mind just how miserable that biddy is.
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Re: Still have problems outside my own house

Postby Sinned » Wed Jul 18, 2018 7:53 pm

Ok, wiothout knowing the full story my response was a bit simplistic but well meant. With someone that toxic you're best staying away.
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