Skirted - diagnosis, therapy, or what?

[Stu]

familyman34

Welcome familyman34. You will find on here that we are all different.

In my case, I am not remotely attracted to "female clothes". In fact, I will avoid anything feminine, even to the extent that the only pieces of "jewellery" I can claim to own are my wristwatches and a couple of pairs of cufflinks. Similarly, my use of cosmetics is limited to the occasional application of a blob of moisturiser on my face after shaving.

Mostly, I prefer trousers as they are warmer and more practical, but I resent not having the option of wearing an alternative if I feel like it while women can wear pretty much whatever they please. Just as a shawl is just about the simplest and most basic garment it is possible to wear on your upper body, a skirt is just about the simplest and most basic garment it is possible to wear for the lower part. The fact that there is an entirely arbitrary social taboo on anyone male ever donning such a garment is both unfair and absurd, and we shouldn't tolerate that in our supposed age of gender equality.

But, like I said, we all have different motives.

[Daryl]

Mostly, I prefer trousers as they are warmer and more practical, but I resent not having the option of wearing an alternative if I feel like it while women can wear pretty much whatever they please.

There it is again, that resentment at being limited in our choices just because we are male.

We don't bring that topic to the foreground here very much, but it is clearly implicit in many things guys here say. It makes me wonder of resentment (and subsequent defiance) aren't in fact much bigger parts of our motivations than we acknowledge.

[Grok]

There it is again, that resentment at being limited in our choices just because we are male.

We don't bring that topic to the foreground here very much, but it is clearly implicit in many things guys here say. It makes me wonder of resentment (and subsequent defiance) aren't in fact much bigger parts of our motivations than we acknowledge.

Well, as we grow up we realize that we are to be stuck in drab, boring clothes for the rest of our lives. And there are obviously-at least potentially (which we can see the opposite sex wearing)-alternatives.

[Caultron]

..Mostly, I prefer trousers as they are warmer and more practical, but I resent not having the option of wearing an alternative if I feel like it while women can wear pretty much whatever they please...

So just do it. Wear, "an alternative." Why not?

It usually comes down to being prisoners of our own device.

[Daryl]

There it is again, that resentment at being limited in our choices just because we are male.

We don't bring that topic to the foreground here very much, but it is clearly implicit in many things guys here say. It makes me wonder of resentment (and subsequent defiance) aren't in fact much bigger parts of our motivations than we acknowledge.

Well, as we grow up we realize that we are to be stuck in drab, boring clothes for the rest of our lives. And there are obviously-at least potentially (which we can see the opposite sex wearing)-alternatives.

So there's two things there:

1. Wearing only drab boring clothes.

2. Not being allowed to wear colourful interesting clothes.

So what if the world did not in fact enforce #2 on us? How many of us would choose to wear only drab clothes anyway? Lots of women, even with the variety available to them, still wear mostly only drab clothes. Is it possible that without #2 to rebel against, most of us would not seek more colourful and interesting clothes (especially skirts)? I wonder how big the rebellion factor really is in our motivations.

[Happy-N-Skirts]

Just don't worry about it. Go for comfort and freedom.

I began to wear a skirt following groin surgery because it was painful to the mid section to wear pants. I wore a tennis skirt around the house because it was comfortable. I continued to buy and wear skirts for that reason and decided to wear skirts while hiking and for driving. I still have scar tissue that can hurt when getting in or out of a vehicle. It stretches and there is no inseam in a skirt that will cause discomfort. I am out in public when I stop in gas stations, stores, or restaurants. I am usually alone in wilderness areas, but often visit state and national parks and nature preserves. Most of the time I am not aware of what I am wearing. I am too busy thinking of light, background, and settings to photograph wildlife. Animals and birds usually don't pose where I would like them to be, so my concentration is on the right combinations of natural factors that sometimes work out with good photos.

No, you are not abnormal or weird for wearing women's pants or other items of clothing. I think it is very normal to want to be comfortable. So, be comfortable in the shape you are in. The thing is, they don't make clothes designed to fit you, so go to Plan B.

[crfriend]

So what if the world did not in fact enforce #2 on us? How many of us would choose to wear only drab clothes anyway? Lots of women, even with the variety available to them, still wear mostly only drab clothes. Is it possible that without #2 to rebel against, most of us would not seek more colourful and interesting clothes (especially skirts)? I wonder how big the rebellion factor really is in our motivations.

"Drab" can manifest itself in many ways. Colour is one, pattern another, and feel a third. I'm sure there are more. If I had to rank my level of "rebelliousness" to male drab, the above three would be, in order, 3, 1, 2. Male-marketed fabrics mostly suck; there's no polite(r) way to state the matter. The colour-palette also bites (denim blue, navy blue, brown, or black, take your pick). Patterns on tr*users? Forget about it, other than gaudy plaids, and they're getting rare in the modern realm.

To crib Newton Minow's immortal crack, "It's a vast wasteland." Women are following the downward spiral as well, and who's to blame them; once it's no longer necessary to consider what one throws on in the morning "life gets easier". It also gets drab, bland, boring, and, ultimately, stupefying. Note that women, once they exit "huntress mode" (where they're trying to lure a mate) start in on drab pretty quickly (quite likely torquing off the recently ensnared).

Perhaps drab is the natural state? If so, that's pretty damned depressing. Maybe I dress the way I do because nobody else does: I like the profusion of colour, pattern, and -- especially -- texture. Stuff drab.

[Caultron]

...Perhaps drab is the natural state? If so, that's pretty damned depressing. Maybe I dress the way I do because nobody else does: I like the profusion of colour, pattern, and -- especially -- texture. Stuff drab.

True, most things tend to be rather average. It seems to be a law of nature.

[pelmut]

... most things tend to be rather average. It seems to be a law of nature.

It's a law of mathematics. If most things were better than average, the average wouldn't be the average any more.

[crfriend]

It's a law of mathematics. If most things were better than average, the average wouldn't be the average any more.

True, and when it comes to clothing, style, and choices the bar is placed pretty darned low.

I'm trying to move the average (and actually do simply by mere appearance, if only by a minuscule amount).

[SkirtsDad]

To crib Newton Minow's immortal crack, "It's a vast wasteland." Women are following the downward spiral as well, and who's to blame them; once it's no longer necessary to consider what one throws on in the morning "life gets easier". It also gets drab, bland, boring, and, ultimately, stupefying. Note that women, once they exit "huntress mode" (where they're trying to lure a mate) start in on drab pretty quickly (quite likely torquing off the recently ensnared).

Is it perhaps because "huntress mode" or even "hunter mode" has been reduced to swipe-left or swipe-right?

Life is much easier with a drab wardrobe.... one of my exes would only wear dark clothes because a) they all matched, but b) more importantly from her perspective, you could just throw them all together in the wash and not worry about colours running, and c) they didn't show up the dirt. It wasn't that she didn't like other colours, she just didn't want the hassle.

If you ask others about their "drab" (by our standards) clothing choices then they seem quite content with what the wear.

I think that there are a lot of social changes that come into play regarding the changes in the way people dress. A friend of mine has been working in research in a local university for 15years+ and she says that in that time there has been a big change in the way students dress. At the beginning, she tells me, you could easily recognise a student just from their clothing, but over time they have become more and more conservatively dressed, so now you have no idea if they are employed by the uni, or studying there when you see them round the campus. All sense of rebellion has gone, apparently.

At one time only about 20% of people here in the UK attended university, which was funded mostly by the state. They went there to learn about life, change the world, but also hopefully come out with a direction and something that will help with a career. Now the government and employers force almost 50% into uni so that the competition is immense and the options few. Coupled with that they will exit with enormous student debts, but also most will have probably spend their "free" time working in order to supplement their loans. Is it an wonder that fashion is perhaps not their first priority?

[alexthebird]

IMHO, the lack of excitement in everyday clothes is as much a function of people making decisions with their wallets instead of their hearts. Where I live, in Philadelphia, it's not hard at all to get some very interesting items if you are willing to root out the innovative boutiques and pay the costs that innovators have to charge to earn a living.

On the other hand, if you are operating on a tight budget or prefer not to spend extra money on clothes, you are limited to the national/international giants like Walmart, Target, Kohl's, Macy's, Old Navy, and so on and these companies survive because they can deliver more or less acceptable products to the market at cheap prices.

A recent fashion school grad operating her own boutique is buying material at prices close to retail and is sewing them herself while paying rent on her shop. Walmart is buying sesquigigaquintillion yards of the same material at unbelievably low prices and is having that material cut, sewn, and assembled in sweatshops across the world. Any variation in design or fabric just adds to Walmart's cost and runs the risk of a Walmart customer deciding it's too expensive.

So as long as most Americans decide to buy their clothes based on price alone, people like us who have a more nuanced approach to what we wear will complain.

[Caultron]

IMHO, the lack of excitement in everyday clothes is as much a function of people making decisions with their wallets instead of their hearts. Where I live, in Philadelphia, it's not hard at all to get some very interesting items if you are willing to root out the innovative boutiques and pay the costs that innovators have to charge to earn a living...

Then again, there are hundreds of thousands of different garments available on Amazon, not to mention other online merchants.

But it's true I hear people talk about what's easier to wear far more than what's fashionable to wear. Casual seems to be king.

[Daryl]

... most things tend to be rather average. It seems to be a law of nature.

It's a law of mathematics. If most things were better than average, the average wouldn't be the average any more.

LOL

When the subject becomes "what's wrong with people", whether it be behaviour in traffic or voting patterns or whatever, I am fond of pointing out that fully half the population has a below-average IQ.

Really makes it easier to forgive everyone, sometimes.