What Is the Lure of Skirts?

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
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Daryl
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What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by Daryl »

I ask this question after pondering over the question of why men wear skirts in secret, hide it from wives, family and friends, and even make special trips out of town to "do it" sometimes.

I chose the word "lure" carefully. "Appeal" is too easy to answer. "Compulsion" too strong, perhaps even accusatory, but it is probably closer to my meaning. The answer to my question can't be just "because they provide more comfort" or "they are superior for ventilation". Billions of men bend to the social norm and are not so terribly oppressed by trousers that even a few minutes relief from pain is better than nothing. Men in that situation, if they existed, might wind up wandering around home in their bathrobes more, but that's about all they would do.

If one is hiding one's skirt wearing (or for that matter any other stereotypically-feminine indulgence), and if one is not claiming transgenderism (which has long been something to hide for fear of disapproval), then why wouldn't one simply comply with the norms just to avoid having anything to hide? What is the lure of skirting (etc.) that is so strong that some even risk their marriages to indulge it?

I think I understand it for myself (though it took some years to find it) and I will relate that at some point, but for now I hope to avoid tainting other people's answers with my own. If you genuinely don't know why the skirt lures you into it, I'd love to hear that too. And I'd also love to hear from men who don't hide it, not just from those who do, because virtually all of us have had to overcome social pressures and nervousness to wear a skirt at all.

What is the lure that makes us wear skirts (etc.) despite the enormous pressure not to? If we are not trying to present as female, if we in fact wish to NOT present as female, why do we even bother?
Daryl...
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Daryl
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by Daryl »

Or put another way, why does skirt-wearing so resemble the blue light? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgTgd91NeC8
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by Darryl »

I think I was just being stubborn.

After telling my friend Polly that I was going to finally "do something" about it and get a kilt-suit and learn to play the pipes. As I recall I used the work 'kilt' three times and each time she looked down to the right and muttered 'skirt.' They also have Scottish roots, so ?

It just irked me...sorta like Khan in the Star Trek movie.....Khan: [paraphrase from Melville's Moby Dick] "He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him!"

After a few days thinking about that I sat at a traffic light, thought some more, said "time to fish or cut bait" and turned towards the shopping mall to buy a skirt while I waited for my kilt. I got a Ponte knit pencil skirt and a straight skirt, both knee-length. Got home and pulled one on....no rumbles of thunder, no earthquakes....wore it outside at night in the back yard a few days, then just walked out the door and went shopping...in the pencil skirt. No cop cars, no black SUVs, no helicopters, no sky falling....

My kilt arrived and fit so I ordered another tartan and a couple 'thrifty kilts.' And also began a simultaneous wardrobe from the Lane Bryant, Dress Barn, Catherine's, and Meijer stores. Never thought about being female or anything other than "I'm just me" while thinking these things are comfortable, cool (nice breeze, eh?) and I like the material.

I still wear kilts here and there, but prefer skirts because they don't have the pleats. I have to remember to "scoop" the kilt so I am sitting on it, rather than on whatever - if anything- is between me and it.

If Polly hadn't contributed her 'skirt' comments I may have just gotten a kilt or two and left it at that...or maybe have upwards of 30-40 kilts by now. I was going to say "skirts are simply better," but kilts also have a more 'formal' feel. Whatever. :doh:
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by beachlion »

For me it is mainly comfort. I have not much sense of fashion so the fabric and colors of the skirts/kilts are more or less identical to the pants and shorts. Also I like to be a little against the grain in society and there is a slight amount of exhibitionisme involved. In numbers it could be 90%, 5% and 5% for those causes.
All progress takes place outside the comfort zone - M J Bobak
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by moonshadow »

For me I think it's just a matter of preference. I love skirts of the midi length, that are full and swish well. However they are not particularly practical and when I'm doing extensive work, opt for skirts that are shorter. Still yet it it's cold out and I have to do manual labor, I will couple a shorter skirt with a pair of leggings.

Not all skirts are my cup of tea. I'm not crazy about kilts, micro skirts, or pencil skirts. You'll probably never see me in anything of the sort. I love skirts that flare out and love the look of a skirt with a petticoat helping hold its shape.

I can't explain what I like the styles I like, no more than I can explain why broccoli is my favorite vegetable, or green is my favorite color... it just.. is.

I've wanted to indulge this side of me for so long, I've thought about it ever since I was a child. I've only recently worked up the courage to actually do it. Despite the minor drama I've had to endure as a result, I feel it has been worth it.
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familyman34
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by familyman34 »

Darryl's observations: "After telling my friend Polly that I was going to finally "do something" about it ... After a few days thinking about that I sat at a traffic light, thought some more, said "time to fish or cut bait" ..." resonate with me.

My entry to this group has been precipitate, to say the least (found SC Saturday 18th, got a suitable(?) skirt Monday 20th, first sortie Wednesday 22nd morning, joined SC the same afternoon, and introduced myself Friday 24th - See my Introduction), but the clearest points that come through all posts are:

1. If you're thinking about it, get on and do it. Delay will only sap one's resolution.
2. A "bigger", more intense experience is no more difficult than a tentative one, but brings far greater rewards, especially in terms of self-confidence.
3. Most people out there won't even notice, and the sky won't fall in. And even if they do notice, so what? It'll probably do them good, make them think more about their own prejudices and come out of it more broad-minded.

It's cold outside; lots of frost on the cars that will need scraping off the windscreen. I've got no tights - I want to get out today, Saturday, when there'll be plenty of people about rather than go shopping for tights today and postpone my next skirted sortie to Sunday - so I'll have to have more or less the same costume as on Wednesday.

There, I've announced that I'm going out today, so now I can't back out! Though I'll wait a bit until it warms up outside.

Wish me luck!
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by skirtyscot »

Familyman34, you are clearly a man of action. Kudos!
Keep on skirting,

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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by Stu »

We all have our own reasons and they really do differ enormously.

In my case, there is no "lure". Most of the time, I don't wear skirts because I find trousers more practical and convenient - and warm. Now and again, I like to have a change, so I do. Women can wear trousers and I am peeved that society sees fit to try to limit the choices we males enjoy while our female counterparts can wear pretty much whatever they like. That is wrong, so maybe for me it's just as much a small act of rebellion as a desire to maximise comfort and sartorial choice.
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by familyman34 »

Just back home.

I waited until the outside temperature rose to +2˚C to scrape the ice of the car windows, and went out for a couple of hours, visiting three different local market towns.

It went much as my trip to Lowestoft on Wednesday, i.e. reasonably successfully for me - provided there are enough people about, getting on with their own business, they don't seem to notice that I'm in a skirt.

Four different women did congratulate me on being out bare-kneed on such a cold day, but they didn't say anything about the skirt, and I unfortunately missed the opportunity each time to engage in further conversation, probably because they were keen to hurry by because of the cold! It would have been a valuable baptism for me to have had to talk about my appearance in a candid and non-fearful way.

Perhaps next time!
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by Charlie »

The lure of skirts? Originally, for me, it was the 'forbidden fruits' thing - skirts are what women wore and shame on you for even thinking about wanting to try one on, let alone being seen wearing one in public :shock:
Like Stu, its now a mixture of comfort and rebellion.
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by Fred in Skirts »

:?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:
Why do I wear skirts??? What has turned me into a skirt wearing man??

I enjoy the feel of the material against my legs along with the fresh air that can circulate between them.
They are practical for me to wear, they are more colorful than pants or shorts.
They are comfortable to wear, no more crotch seam discomforts.
But most of all I just love them!!!
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not" Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by mishawakaskirt »

familyman34 wrote:Just back home.

I waited until the outside temperature rose to +2˚C to scrape the ice of the car windows, and went out for a couple of hours, visiting three different local market towns.

It went much as my trip to Lowestoft on Wednesday, i.e. reasonably successfully for me - provided there are enough people about, getting on with their own business, they don't seem to notice that I'm in a skirt.

Four different women did congratulate me on being out bare-kneed on such a cold day, but they didn't say anything about the skirt, and I unfortunately missed the opportunity each time to engage in further conversation, probably because they were keen to hurry by because of the cold! It would have been a valuable baptism for me to have had to talk about my appearance in a candid and non-fearful way.
Perhaps next time!
Tons of discussion in a thread do people notice or not
If they noticed your knees, they probably noticed the skirt unless they were very nearsighted or it was dark out. A way of commenting without commenting. Here in northern Indiana I see a fair number of men and women in shorts in winter. I may think "they must have cold knees" but I'm not going to make conversation.
Being a kilt and skirt wearer I would hessitate to even say nice kilt or skirt to another man wearing one. I'm wanting to work on that, there is another man that wears a kilt in our town, I have seen him twice, and said nothing. I would like
him to know he's not the only one.

If someone comments or complements, best to smile, say thankyou, I appriciate
you chatting me you made my day. If you really want to push the conversation,
you might reply with something to the effect of I'm glad you approve or glad you like it. You should be able to tell, if they stamer or get the deer in the headlights
look in eye, they just realzed your in a skirt.
I have never had anyone say nice pants or nice shorts.


.
As to the lure of the skirt? Comfortable, roomy and cool in summer, variety, A lines, circles, kilts, variety of lengths
Mishawakaskirt @2wayskirt on Twitter

Avoid the middle man, wear a kilt or skirt.
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by moonshadow »

I read an interesting line in a book the other day, it made me think of some of us:

"Of course, great men will never conform with the standards of little men, and he whose mission it is to overturn the world can hardly escape the title of revolutionary."
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by skirted_in_SF »

Lure? There's no lure, they are just what I wear every day.
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Re: What Is the Lure of Skirts?

Post by Daryl »

Okay, here goes.

Currently, what motivates me sufficiently to buck the social gender policing all around me, including the discomfort or disapproval of some friends and family, is simply that I enjoy skirts way more than pants, and I have a "don't tell me what to do" axe I'm not finished grinding. However, my initial trepidation was not overcome simply by these; there was something that drove me to take the plunge initially, and to be honest with myself (and all of you) it included sexual imagination plus obsession with forbidden fruit. The earliest roots of that were in seeing dresses hanging in the clothesline and wondering, at quite a young age, what it felt like to be inside such a tent. The sexual imagination part stopped short of full on autogynephilia, but I've always been inclined to imagine how someone else feels, and the opposite sex is a big red blinking sign saying "they must really feel a lot different". I've always been high on empathy. When Julianne Moore's character broke down and cried hard in Boogie Nights after losing access to her child, I did too. Maybe I have hyperactive mirror neurons or something (seriously, I think that could be a thing). Being a heterosexual male, females arouse my sexual interests, and the intersection of wanting to be inside the internal experience of others, and my own sexual preferences, meant that to some extent I was fascinated by everything that could be related to how females might feel just by being them. Clothing is a huge part of that and no single item is more different from the male experience than the skirt. That was the lure.

So now I know, finally, what the constant alertness to possible visual exposure feels like (not all bad) and I know what it's like to feel my left leg with my right leg, and how a hem brushing against me reminds me of how open I am...naked from the perspective of the ants, in fact. I don't think of these as female feelings but they still inform me about that aspect of female experience, and I like being mentally expanded in this way. It's like a narrow kind of experiential solidarity. It's also a pleasant mental distraction at times, which helps keep me cheerful during stressful times.

Now that I know I can have it, and what it's like, it's become a different type of lure for me. Now it's a rebellion against both gender policing and the rot that passes for activism these days. I can wear a skirt or any feminine thing I wish without making any statement at all except "bzzz". I would probably wear pants a little more often if it weren't for this new lure, but I can't say that the lure is actually driving me much. It's definitely just a want not a need now, perhaps as close to a neutral preference as I'll ever get.
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