First forays out in public

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
simonr
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Re: First forays out in public

Post by simonr »

Took another big step last night. I went into a 24-hour supermarket with quite a few other shoppers inside. Generally, it went pretty well, and I can feel my confidence going up by the day.

Interesting point: no one in the shop seemed to pay any attention to the ankle-length dress that I wore (at least no one stared publicly at it). The dress is made of shimmering satin material, so there was no way that they mistook it for anything else. I guess that everyone was simply too busy with their own stuff, or they were too polite to stare.

The only dramatic reaction I had was from a cab driver across the street. While I was waiting for the traffic light at a junction, the cabby stared so intently at me that he didn't notice the light turning green. The car behind had to honk to get him moving.

Had this happened just a week ago, I would have felt extremely uneasy, but this time I just laughed it off.
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Caultron
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Re: First forays out in public

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It seems you're making great progress, simonr. Keep at it!

As to the cabbie, who knows but he what he was really thinking of? But you have to expect a few puzzled or frowning expressions from time to time. I mean, face it, when you appear in wearing a skirt or dress, you are operating a bit on the fringe. But just take it as a chance to assert yourself, proceed with confidence, and after a second or two the other person will simply decide, "Oh well," and then go about their business.

If you stop to think about it, wearing unusual clothes in public is actually rather commonplace. Lots of people do it for lots of reasons. Maybe they're asserting themselves, maybe they're rebelling, maybe they're into style, maybe they're expressing themselves artistically, maybe they're trying to attract partners, or maybe they're just careless, clueless, or nuts. Or a hundred other things. So everybody else comes to expect a certain amount of self-expression and that, in turn, works to our favor.

(And yes. "Standing out is normal." I do appreciate the irony.)
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

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Daryl
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Re: First forays out in public

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Caultron wrote: (And yes. "Standing out is normal." I do appreciate the irony.)
On my way to the counter at the chemist today a woman down the aisle repeatedly called out "hey scotty". I ignored her completely because what I was wearing was a narrow plain unpleated skirt and for all I knew she was calling to someone whose nickname was "Scotty". Not only was my skirt far from a kilt, it was solid burgundy and I had on a purple shirt and striped knee-high socks.

Here are the socks. On me they fit very comfortably under the knee or just barely above. Click on the plum and pomegranate colour. Not very Scottish!
https://www.sockdreams.com/extraordinar ... -high.html

A few seconds after reaching the counter she tapped my shoulder to get my attention. The quick exchange had me informing her that I'm not Scottish. She'd just wanted to show me the thistle broach she was wearing. As we turned away from each other to resume our business she said "so you're just fashionable" to which I replied "yes, that's exactly it". I didn't make it unpleasant in any way despite finding the frequent Scot-bombing I get in public quite annoying. That people want to connect at all is a positive thing and I try to treat it as such each time.

So yes, standing out is kind of normal now, and because of that we may find ourselves being approached. People can interpret our standing out as a desire to be noticed, and take that as an invitation to communication. It's not really the skirt. The skirt is just the occasion, and there are a lot of people who just want to make contact with others in the world.
Daryl...
simonr
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Re: First forays out in public

Post by simonr »

Caultron wrote:But you have to expect a few puzzled or frowning expressions from time to time.
I was definitely expecting these puzzled looks. In fact, I was surprised by how little attention I got from people around.
Caultron wrote:Standing out is normal.
Having lived in Europe for a few years, I do have first-hand experience of how many Europeans like to assert their individuality with unusual clothes and accessories. Judging by the other comments on this forum, I have the feeling that the Americans share the same level of passion for standing out (if not more). Unfortunately, the same can't be said about a mainly conservative society like Singapore. We are taught since a young age about the virtues of social conformity ("the middle way" in the words of Confucius). This high level of social conformity is evident in the way people dress. Singapore being a hot tropical island, most people wear the same combination of t-shirts and shorts / jeans all-year-round. The most attention-grabbing thing most people do with their attire is putting a controversial text on the back of their t-shirt.

On the flip side,the traditional Asian culture also works in our favor by discouraging conflicts. People here have a very high level of tolerance for things they don't agree with. They gossip in private or bombard government portals with complaints, but they rarely walk up to someone and confront him/her about anything. That's the reason Singaporeans can wait in lines for hours without attempting to cut queues or openly complaining about it. That's also the reason, I guess, so few people openly stared at my dresses. They may be surprised or feel uneasy about it, but they have been taught to keep those feelings to themselves.
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Re: First forays out in public

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Sinned wrote:...you'll know when you have made it when you can go shopping for a dress/skirt whilst wearing a dress/skirt...
I think I might go one better: You'll know when you have made it when you can go shopping for men's pants whilst wearing a skirt/dress. I had occasion to walk into a mid-range department store, found the pants I needed and wandered about until I located a dressing room. Got the obligatory "How many?" from the attendant, and was shown to the cubicle. Tried on the pants to verify the tags, put my skirt and heels back on and went to the front of the store to pay. No fuss from anyone. It does take a bit of time to get used to being out in public in an unbifurcated garment and shoes with a heel higher than a half inch but it's well worth the effort. And as everyone here has noted, it does get easier with practice.
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Daryl
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Re: First forays out in public

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simonr wrote: On the flip side,the traditional Asian culture also works in our favor by discouraging conflicts. People here have a very high level of tolerance for things they don't agree with. They gossip in private or bombard government portals with complaints, but they rarely walk up to someone and confront him/her about anything. That's the reason Singaporeans can wait in lines for hours without attempting to cut queues or openly complaining about it. That's also the reason, I guess, so few people openly stared at my dresses. They may be surprised or feel uneasy about it, but they have been taught to keep those feelings to themselves.
That sounds a lot like Canada in some ways. Like many former British colonies we are very good queuers (something the wife and I discovered in India, where we felt right at home whenever in a lineup), and we have an almost embarrassing reputation for politeness. Singapore even seems to be making progress on LGBT rights, which according to Wikipedia include legitimate female homosexuality (but not yet male) and legitimate sex reassignment. Would you suggest it as a tourist destination?
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simonr
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Re: First forays out in public

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Daryl wrote:That sounds a lot like Canada in some ways. Like many former British colonies we are very good queuers (something the wife and I discovered in India, where we felt right at home whenever in a lineup), and we have an almost embarrassing reputation for politeness. Singapore even seems to be making progress on LGBT rights, which according to Wikipedia include legitimate female homosexuality (but not yet male) and legitimate sex reassignment. Would you suggest it as a tourist destination?
Oh yes, Singaporeans are generally very polite, and the country is one of the safest places in the world I would say (young girls can walk alone after midnight without worrying about their safety). It is also fairly tolerant towards the LGBT communities. Many homosexuals are open about their sexual preference without much overt discrimination. There is a piece of legacy colonial law that forbids male-male sexual activities, but the government rarely enforces it.

As a tourist destination, Singapore has sunny beaches, good food and a nice modern skyline, but it is very small. One needs only two or three days to visit all its attractions. So it may not be worth flying all the way from Europe or America. However, if you plan to make a trip to the more exotic Thailand or Indonesia, Singapore would be an interesting stop along the way.
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Daryl
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Re: First forays out in public

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simonr wrote:
Daryl wrote:That sounds a lot like Canada in some ways. Like many former British colonies we are very good queuers (something the wife and I discovered in India, where we felt right at home whenever in a lineup), and we have an almost embarrassing reputation for politeness. Singapore even seems to be making progress on LGBT rights, which according to Wikipedia include legitimate female homosexuality (but not yet male) and legitimate sex reassignment. Would you suggest it as a tourist destination?
Oh yes, Singaporeans are generally very polite, and the country is one of the safest places in the world I would say (young girls can walk alone after midnight without worrying about their safety). It is also fairly tolerant towards the LGBT communities. Many homosexuals are open about their sexual preference without much overt discrimination. There is a piece of legacy colonial law that forbids male-male sexual activities, but the government rarely enforces it.

As a tourist destination, Singapore has sunny beaches, good food and a nice modern skyline, but it is very small. One needs only two or three days to visit all its attractions. So it may not be worth flying all the way from Europe or America. However, if you plan to make a trip to the more exotic Thailand or Indonesia, Singapore would be an interesting stop along the way.
Well, yes, I'd like to visit perhaps Thailand as well. Part of my interest is visiting historic (and otherwise) Buddhist sites. But you'd be surprised how little of a "tourist" I am. I'm more interested in planting myself in one place and just absorbing local life, especially somewhere that has a zero chance of snow. How expensive is Singapore for, say, an American or Australian to visit? (two currencies I can readily convert to Canadian dollars)
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simonr
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Re: First forays out in public

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Daryl wrote:Well, yes, I'd like to visit perhaps Thailand as well. Part of my interest is visiting historic (and otherwise) Buddhist sites. But you'd be surprised how little of a "tourist" I am. I'm more interested in planting myself in one place and just absorbing local life, especially somewhere that has a zero chance of snow. How expensive is Singapore for, say, an American or Australian to visit? (two currencies I can readily convert to Canadian dollars)
I don't think you can use either US dollars or Australian dollars in Singapore. Most shop keepers here accept only the local Singapore dollar (which has almost the same value as the Canadian dollar). Fortunately, there are a ton of money changers in the city center area, so you will have no problem at all changing from Canadian dollars to Singapore dollars or the other way round.

As for the cost, the city is generally cheaper than many other major cities like Paris or New York. A room on AirBnB goes for around Singapore $50 per night. If you are more adventurous, you can find hostel beds in 6-bed rooms for less than $15 a night. On the food side, there are thousands of "food courts" around the city that sell local dishes at less than $5. They are also good places to hang out with a cup of coffee and "absorb the local life", because they are where most of the Singaporeans get our daily meals and drinks.
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Daryl
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Re: First forays out in public

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simonr wrote:
Daryl wrote:Well, yes, I'd like to visit perhaps Thailand as well. Part of my interest is visiting historic (and otherwise) Buddhist sites. But you'd be surprised how little of a "tourist" I am. I'm more interested in planting myself in one place and just absorbing local life, especially somewhere that has a zero chance of snow. How expensive is Singapore for, say, an American or Australian to visit? (two currencies I can readily convert to Canadian dollars)
I don't think you can use either US dollars or Australian dollars in Singapore. Most shop keepers here accept only the local Singapore dollar (which has almost the same value as the Canadian dollar). Fortunately, there are a ton of money changers in the city center area, so you will have no problem at all changing from Canadian dollars to Singapore dollars or the other way round.

As for the cost, the city is generally cheaper than many other major cities like Paris or New York. A room on AirBnB goes for around Singapore $50 per night. If you are more adventurous, you can find hostel beds in 6-bed rooms for less than $15 a night. On the food side, there are thousands of "food courts" around the city that sell local dishes at less than $5. They are also good places to hang out with a cup of coffee and "absorb the local life", because they are where most of the Singaporeans get our daily meals and drinks.
I could assume that Interac or another major ATM network is available, right? That's how we survived in India. Just took enough rupees on the plane to get us to our hotel, then our driver found working ATMs for us after that. :)

It looks like the Singapore dollar is only about 93 cents to the Canadian dollar now, so those prices sound quite good. Don't be surprised if you see a Canadian guy in a skirt this winter!
Daryl...
simonr
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Re: First forays out in public

Post by simonr »

Daryl wrote:I could assume that Interac or another major ATM network is available, right? That's how we survived in India. Just took enough rupees on the plane to get us to our hotel, then our driver found working ATMs for us after that. :)

It looks like the Singapore dollar is only about 93 cents to the Canadian dollar now, so those prices sound quite good. Don't be surprised if you see a Canadian guy in a skirt this winter!
Most ATM machines here support the major networks (Visa, Master, Cirrus, Plus etc.), so you should be fine here with a bank card.

Do let me know if you are visiting. I'd love to meet up for a chat :)
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Re: First forays out in public

Post by piper_steve »

My first foray in public was a three day drive (about 3000km) to return home from a job in Saskatchewan.
I wore a black Macabi skirt the whole way.
I checked in and out of hotels and stopped for gas and meals wearing this skirt. It was an adrenaline rush at first but it turns out that nobody really cares.
A few people noticed but there were no adverse reactions which I found quite surprising.
I now wear skirts pretty well everywhere except work. My wife is not thrilled with this though so I don't wear them when I'm out with her.
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Re: First forays out in public

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Caultron wrote:If you stop to think about it, wearing unusual clothes in public is actually rather commonplace.
This was something I realised the other day while walking behind a couple. Judging by the ages and general behaviour, I think they were brother and sister. Girl was wearing fairly normal office type clothes, boy was in "Gangsta" pants. i.e. belted low around the hips (barely hanging on of course) and crotch somewhere below the knees. On that day I had chosen an outfit a little more out there than my usual stuff (don't remember what exactly, and not very extreme) and had been feeling a little nervous. I took one look at the boy and relaxed, I mean, who looks more ridiculous? It was NOT me, for sure.
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Re: First forays out in public

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partlyscot wrote:
Caultron wrote:If you stop to think about it, wearing unusual clothes in public is actually rather commonplace.
This was something I realised the other day while walking behind a couple. Judging by the ages and general behaviour, I think they were brother and sister. Girl was wearing fairly normal office type clothes, boy was in "Gangsta" pants. i.e. belted low around the hips (barely hanging on of course) and crotch somewhere below the knees. On that day I had chosen an outfit a little more out there than my usual stuff (don't remember what exactly, and not very extreme) and had been feeling a little nervous. I took one look at the boy and relaxed, I mean, who looks more ridiculous? It was NOT me, for sure.
Exactly.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

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Daryl
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Re: First forays out in public

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simonr wrote:
Daryl wrote:I could assume that Interac or another major ATM network is available, right? That's how we survived in India. Just took enough rupees on the plane to get us to our hotel, then our driver found working ATMs for us after that. :)

It looks like the Singapore dollar is only about 93 cents to the Canadian dollar now, so those prices sound quite good. Don't be surprised if you see a Canadian guy in a skirt this winter!
Most ATM machines here support the major networks (Visa, Master, Cirrus, Plus etc.), so you should be fine here with a bank card.

Do let me know if you are visiting. I'd love to meet up for a chat :)
Would do, for sure.
Daryl...
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