Feeling uncomfy
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Feeling uncomfy
I've been wearing a skirt in the flat but shmbo is due home from work soon and I've changed into trousers - I've reliased how uncomfy trousers really are...
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Re: Feeling uncomfy
Yep unfortunatelyKirbstone wrote:Shmbo rules!
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Re: Feeling uncomfy
This does not bode well...
I do not intend to be flippant here, but if there's that much effort being exerted on her part on the matter then there are likely other things lurking in the wings. Overt attempts at control are an entirely unhealthy sign of what the future may hold. Now, some of us are locked into relationships in which there is too much to lose by way of overt protest or outright defiance of control, but if things are still in a nascent stage it's not too late to "regain freedom".
I do not intend to be flippant here, but if there's that much effort being exerted on her part on the matter then there are likely other things lurking in the wings. Overt attempts at control are an entirely unhealthy sign of what the future may hold. Now, some of us are locked into relationships in which there is too much to lose by way of overt protest or outright defiance of control, but if things are still in a nascent stage it's not too late to "regain freedom".
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Re: Feeling uncomfy
This reminded me of my old thread, difficulties with partners. No one should have control over another in any partnership.
We ALL have the freedom to wear what we want, when we want. Just because we are men who want to wear skirts does NOT give our partners power over us.
We ALL have the freedom to wear what we want, when we want. Just because we are men who want to wear skirts does NOT give our partners power over us.
Re: Feeling uncomfy
Well, in theory anyways and to a certain extent I agree with you. It's easy to say what you have from the comfort of a relationship that is consenting or from no relationship at all. BUT when one has invested 40+ years into a relationship one doesn't violently rock the boat to the extent that it capsizes. With SHMBO it's an emotional response and hence defies logic and very, very difficult to change. Don't go down the if you really love me you will accept my skirts because the counter statement is if you really loved me you wouldn't wear them and embarrass me and I didn't marry a man who wears skirts, you've really changed. Like, yeah you've finally noticed that I ain't the man you married but then you ain't the woman I married either. Continue down the slippery slope to nuclear WW3.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
Re: Feeling uncomfy
Wise words Sinned.Sinned wrote:Well, in theory anyways and to a certain extent I agree with you. It's easy to say what you have from the comfort of a relationship that is consenting or from no relationship at all. BUT when one has invested 40+ years into a relationship one doesn't violently rock the boat to the extent that it capsizes. With SHMBO it's an emotional response and hence defies logic and very, very difficult to change. Don't go down the if you really love me you will accept my skirts because the counter statement is if you really loved me you wouldn't wear them and embarrass me and I didn't marry a man who wears skirts, you've really changed. Like, yeah you've finally noticed that I ain't the man you married but then you ain't the woman I married either. Continue down the slippery slope to nuclear WW3.
Daryl...
Re: Feeling uncomfy
Sinned, I know exactly what your saying, and every relationship has its problems. I may not have difficulties wearing the skirts with wife and daughter around but there's always other things giving concern, and so I know there are times when its best to play safe. No one wants to mess up what would otherwise be a good partnership. I've been with my wife 35 years and don't know what I'd do if she did'nt like me skirted, it would be a hard call. I suppose I'm lucky for that one.
Re: Feeling uncomfy
Tackleberry, any way you can gently broach the subject with your other half? Although a litte long-winded, perhaps buy a utility kilt, (kilts are widely accepted, a basic kilt starts at £45, utility one for the same price on ebay) or just say it is more comfortable than shorts as there is no inseam to make things uncomfortable or dig into your crotch? I guess the jeans skirts are the most 'masculine' to introduce first. I suspect she may already know, especially if a uniform skirt has disappeared over time
From reading mumsnet forums (initially out of boredom and curiosity ), it's "the discovery" of the stash of clothes, then the inevitable questions that brings that freaks women out. I know its sometimes best to keep quiet and keep skirting "incognito", but as collections grow, it may become the elephant in the room... I know from personal experience. Is she quite open minded and easy going? If so, that may be half the battle won
From reading mumsnet forums (initially out of boredom and curiosity ), it's "the discovery" of the stash of clothes, then the inevitable questions that brings that freaks women out. I know its sometimes best to keep quiet and keep skirting "incognito", but as collections grow, it may become the elephant in the room... I know from personal experience. Is she quite open minded and easy going? If so, that may be half the battle won
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Re: Feeling uncomfy
Hi guys , I haven't been around for awhile. For many years I was afraid to broach the subject of wearing skirts to my wife. I was terrified of how she would react to it. When she did find out , it was actually a growing experience for both of us as a couple. She was the first to find out, and finally being able to verbally articulate why I wanted to add skirts to my side of the closet, was a tremendous confidence builder for me. I felt it helped in a way to validate it as part of my identity. It was one big step among many small ones. For her, once she understood that I was merely expressing myself, and not actually trying to switch sides, she became very at ease about it. Now for everyone else...
Re: Feeling uncomfy
Exactly the arguments used by my ex. That she was the initiator was not relevant. Neither that she was wearing my shirt, socks, etc. So in essence she was using a double norm.Sinned wrote:Well, in theory anyways and to a certain extent I agree with you. It's easy to say what you have from the comfort of a relationship that is consenting or from no relationship at all. BUT when one has invested 40+ years into a relationship one doesn't violently rock the boat to the extent that it capsizes. With SHMBO it's an emotional response and hence defies logic and very, very difficult to change. Don't go down the if you really love me you will accept my skirts because the counter statement is if you really loved me you wouldn't wear them and embarrass me and I didn't marry a man who wears skirts, you've really changed. Like, yeah you've finally noticed that I ain't the man you married but then you ain't the woman I married either. Continue down the slippery slope to nuclear WW3.
With my present other half life is much moe relaxed, as "my" skirt collection now exists as we can exchange clothes. Only aspect is hat my NOH prefers multi colors, while I have a preference for solid.
Re: Feeling uncomfy
Hi Blackpassage,Blackpassage wrote:Hi guys , I haven't been around for awhile. For many years I was afraid to broach the subject of wearing skirts to my wife. I was terrified of how she would react to it. When she did find out , it was actually a growing experience for both of us as a couple. She was the first to find out, and finally being able to verbally articulate why I wanted to add skirts to my side of the closet, was a tremendous confidence builder for me. I felt it helped in a way to validate it as part of my identity. It was one big step among many small ones. For her, once she understood that I was merely expressing myself, and not actually trying to switch sides, she became very at ease about it. Now for everyone else...
Thank you for sharing this pivotal experience with us, and a hearty congratulations!
If you don't mind me being nosey, your post puzzles me a little. What do you mean "she was the first to find out"? Do you mean she knew before you did, or you were skirting in secret and she was the first to discover it? I'm interested partly just because your prose leaves that question open but also because I kind of wish I'd been able to hear you articulate "why" to your wife. For example I'm wondering about it being "one big step among many small ones"...I wonder "steps to what if not switching teams?"
Certainly this is the right crowd to share this with, but if it makes you feel uncomfy or would rather not say more in public, I'm fine with that. Thanks again.
Daryl...