Cato fashions

[moonshadow]

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. I got turned away from a fitting room because I have a penis. The women were VERY friendly about it and pleaded that they personally don't have a problem with it. They also said I can return them if there is an issue with the fit. The two ladies good customer service despite an unfair company policy, in addition to the fact that I really liked the skirt and the fact that it was on sale was the sole reason I completed the purchase anyway.

The women were just doing their job, I understand.... and I would NEVER ask anyone to jeprodize their job for something so trivial. That being said, I think cato corporate is going to be a phone call from me on Monday. In addition we have another blatant example of discrimination against men. If the shoe was on the other foot.... it would be national news.

Still..... I can't help but feel like less of a human on account of the experience.

[Gordon]

That is sad. You could write to their corporate headquarters and talk about discrimination.

I've been to a Lane Bryant store and a DressBarn store, both are women s clothing only and I was welcomed to use a changing room to try on skirts.

[moonshadow]

That is sad. You could write to their corporate headquarters and talk about discrimination.

I've been to a Lane Bryant store and a DressBarn store, both are women s clothing only and I was welcomed to use a changing room to try on skirts.

Yeah.... the more I think about it the more I think I want to return them. I will wait until I speak to the corporate office and see where they stand. If it was a misunderstanding at the store level then that's fine, they need to send a memo to the store. I'd also like a confirmation from the district manager. But if it is indeed policy and they will not budge, I believe they will be returned, with an email sent to their office, cc to the ACLU, any feminist group I can find, any anti descrimination regulatory authority I can find, maybe a few papers..... LIBERAL papers... (nothing around here)

I will take this in stride, and will be handled with virtue, unlike those loudmouthed activist.

And by the way.... I don't expect anything to be done.

[Elisabetta]

Sorry Moon that you had to deal with that experience. I never get why companies have to discriminate over someone's fashion choice. Remember there's always going to be one bad apple on every tree. If that was me and I was in your shoes I would have done my business elsewhere.

[Uncle Al]

Moonshadow,

Looking forward to reading the response you get from CATO.
I don't shop there simply because of their prices.
For plus-size garments, the selection is limited. "B" line mainly.
I prefer "A" line styles. To me, "B" line styles accentuate
the hips and waist line (think bell Shape). "A" line allows
better ventilation, coverage(when sitting) and a longer
stride when walking. This is why I don't like 'pencil skirts'.
No coverage when sitting and restricted stride when walking.
Currently, my waist size is larger than my hip size - thus,
the "A" line style works better on/for me.

{Also going through my 'collection' and weeding
out several 'too-small-for-me' skirts. May offer
them to Cafe' members who can use them
(for a nominal fee plus shipping ). }

OK - Just my $.02 worth

Uncle Al

[moonshadow]

This is what was sent...

Note no. 1) I don't expect much out of the legislators, ESPECIALLY the republican ones. And although I am curious to hear their politically correct, general use response.

Note no. 2) Some may think my inclusion of a feminist activist group is laughable as well. However I challenge feminist to put their money where their mouth is and support TRUE equality. I will draft a second letter just for that group later before I mail it explaining my position, and how we can not have a truly free society until ALL sexes are treated equally, with dignity and respect. A favorable response will result in a monetary donation to their cause. No response, or an insulting one may very well change my accepting position on the modern "feminist" movement. This is their chance to lay all of the blogs, political correctness, and misandrist aside and either make a true believer in feminism out of me, or convince me that it's just a bunch of angry woman that want everything their way only.... the ball is in their court.

Note no. 3) My address has been withheld from this website as I have a feeling that to post it may be considered inappropriate. Anyone here who wishes to send any physical correspondence on this matter are welcome to visit my Google+ account where this information will be made available. Obviously, addresses of lawmakers and activist are posted as they are in the public square anyway.

BEGIN-----------

November 21 2015

The Cato Corporation
8100 Denmark Road
Charlotte, NC 28273

To whom it may concern,

I wish to write to bring a resolution to what I am being told is a company policy, that I have judged to be discriminatory against men. I am a law biding citizen who always strived to be a positive contributor of society, to be ethical, fair, and just in my day to day practices and activities. Recently I have discovered the style and comfort that skirts and some dresses offer to the male anatomy. However unfortunately, there isn't much to choose from in regards to skirts for males, aside from the kilt, which is a fine garment in it's own right, however not my personal preference. So I have been actively wearing skirts now for about six months. I have purchased several skirts of various styles from many different retail outlets.

Of all of the places I have purchased skirts, including one locally owned store in Bristol Virginia who only has one fitting room, I have never had this problem until today, when I stopped to shop for skirts at your Abingdon Virginia location. When I selected three skirts that I felt would look good on me, I asked the sales associate if Cato had a fitting room where I could try on the apparel. Both women looked at each other and sighed, as they obviously were put in an uncomfortable situation. It was explained to me that due to Cato corporate policy, men are not allowed use of the facilities of stores that are considered "for women". I want to add, that the two associates were very friendly about the ordeal, and apologized, and on that impulse I purchased them anyway, as they advised me that if they didn't fit I could always return them. Yet as I sat in the parking lot an contemplated what just transpired here, I admit to feeling less and less like an equal citizen in society, and more like a second class citizen, one who seemed to just experience what I have always assumed was discrimination, and illegal.

After considering the situation, I have decided to write your company to determine if this is indeed company policy. If so, I have decided that I will not demean myself and patronize an establishment that places a lesser value on my soul simply because it is encapsulated by a man's body. I will give Cato Fashions one chance to redeem itself from this unfair policy, or I shall return the garments, and take my business elsewhere.

Although I can not find any direct law prohibiting this practice, I do feel that it is unfair, unethical, and very demeaning to men, and hold this firm opinion that if this situation were reversed, there would be a public outcry. I am very eager to learn the exact reason for this act of discrimination, and why your company feels that men are not entitled to equal use of your otherwise public facilities. Also, I will be adding my name to the petition for ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment. A copy of this letter shall be sent to each legislator that holds public office in my jurisdiction.

Also be advised this is being mailed and/or posted to forums, and other communities of those who seek equality of men and women, particularly the harmless practice of men wearing skirts. They will be made aware that your business is not friendly to their personal freedoms. It is my sincere hope that I may amend my public writings to state that this was simply a misunderstanding.

Sincerley,



(name and address withheld)

CC

Virginia Delegate Israel D. O'Quin
General Assembly Building
P.O. Box 406
Richmond, Virginia 23218
(804) 698-1005



Senator Charles W. Carrico Sr.
Senate of Virginia
P.O. Box 396
Richmond, Virginia 23218
Phone: (804) 698-7540


Congressman Morgan Griffith
Virginia-9th Congressional District
1108 Longworth HOB
Washington DC 20515-4609
Phone: (202) 225-3861

Senator Tim Kaine
231 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
Phone: (202) 224-4024

Senator Mark Warner
475 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
Phone: (202) 224-2023

AVfM Operations, LLC
5300 N. Braeswood Blvd, #4-196
Houston, TX 77096
(A Voice for Men)
http://www.avoiceformen.com/

Feminist Majority Foundation
1600 Wilson Boulevard,
Suite 801
Arlington, VA 22209
Phone: (703) 522-2214

END---------------------

[moonshadow]

I don't shop there simply because of their prices.

I could see their "standard" prices were rather high. However the three I picked out were marked down.... twice. Skirts that were retailing for $40 were being sold for $11. All told I spent $30 and got 3 really nice skirts. To bad I couldn't be sure they fit.

Regarding A-line styles. Well, that was the BIGGEST reason I wanted to try the skirts on (same as with almost every skirt), I like skirts that allow me to spread my legs out far, to be able to take big steps when walking, and I also find that getting in and out of cars is easier. My concern with the skirts were the looked somewhat "pencily", they had some triangular cut, but nothing like the wide skirts I got at Misty Mountain Designs (boy I REALLY love that store now!) I've gotten good enough at this where I can look at the tag and the waist and just about tell if it will "fit", but I like to try them on anyway to see how the "feel" on me. Just because it fits, doesn't mean it's going to be comfortable, or practical.

NOTE: As I review this thread, I want to say that I have refrained sending this to organizations that enforce existing policy an law, as to my knowledge there is no exact law against this practice. Therefore, rather then sent it to law enforcers, I have sent it to law makers, and two lobbies that deal in this issue. Maybe something will come out of it... maybe pink pigs will fly too!

[dillon]

Not to sound the pessimist, but I wouldn't hold my breath for getting a positive reform from this. Cato is a regional company with stores focused on small southern towns. Unless you can change the culture, you probably won't change the company.

[crfriend]

Cato is a regional company with stores focused on small southern towns. Unless you can change the culture, you probably won't change the company.

If I'm not mistaken, Moonshadow is already trying to do just that -- change the culture by having the courage to set an example.

[moonshadow]

Not to sound the pessimist, but I wouldn't hold my breath for getting a positive reform from this. Cato is a regional company with stores focused on small southern towns. Unless you can change the culture, you probably won't change the company.

I understand. And I can't help but expect a nasty response from the feminist.
I tried on the skirts, and I have to say, I really like them, they are very comfortable, flow well, and they don't look bad either.

I eagerly await their response to determine if this was a simple mistake, or if they are indeed this sexist. That will determine whether I keep the skirts or not. Yes they are very nice, yes they are very comfortable, and yes they price was right.... but my dignity is NOT FOR SALE.

This is another reason I must tread carefully. Sometimes papers do take up little stories like this. This isn't really what I want. While my employer isn't a clothing retailer, they are just as conservative. Such PR from myself, a "corporate" employee, may result in my termination... or at least a demotion to minimum wage bagger. Of course if I did get canned, could be a good time to move to friendlier territory.... get away from these blasted southern states.

Just fix the policy... that's all I want, no money, no fame, just fairness. If they don't, or I get little to no response elsewhere I'll probably just let it go, but it will be the last time I spend a dollar at Cato, I don't care if they are selling skirts for a nickel.

[STEVIE]

I'll pose a question, does this company sell menswear?
I've tried-on and bought a few skirts now. My way is to select and tell an assistant that I'm going to the Mens' to try it on. That has never been a problem, so far.
I have yet to do the same in a female exclusive shop. I guess that will come and I'll report accordingly.
For what it's worth, I was skirted on all these occasions and simply treated as a customer,
I hope "Cato" get a grip on the realities of retail life!
Get this one out on all the social media at your disposal.
Steve.

[moonshadow]

I'll pose a question, does this company sell menswear?

As per the website, they have something called "It's Fashion" that claims to sell clothes for boys and men too, but as far as I can tell Cato is a woman's store.

Still, it's besides the point, unless the fitting rooms are communal (something I've never seen) then what's the difference? And if they are communal, then maybe they need to fix that. They are all private stalls to my knowledge. As has been mentioned here... Dress Barn obviously is a woman's store, yet they allow men to use their fitting rooms. Although I have yet to make a purchase there, when I visited one personally the woman did say I was allowed too, and offered any assistance. I didn't only because I didn't find anything I liked in my price range, thus there was nothing to try on.

Misty Mountain Designs in Bristol VA is a small locally owned establishments with only one fitting room (a small one at that), and from the looks of it, they are a 100% "female" clothing retailer. Not only did they GLADLY allow me to use the room, the even invited me to use the mirrors located throughout the sales floor to see how the look worked for me.

No... there was no excuse for this, other than a corporations view that any man who wears a woman's garment must have some kinky sexual fetish that he wishes exploit in a woman's fitting room, or the idea of a man parading around in a skirt doesn't represent "wholesome family values". What a crock of BS, what an ugly, nasty stereotype. Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I want to peep on women changing and have sex with anything with legs.

And you know what else? If it's a single, non communal bathroom (no stalls, single occupancy, lock the door behind you) I'll use the womens bathroom too! When you gotta go you gotta go!

[skirtingtheissue]

In stores that cater only to women (in the traditional sense), I am sometimes offered the use of an employee restroom or stockroom to try things on, as an alternative to the awkward situation of a man in the women's fitting rooms. Those employees who offer this alternative obviously are hoping to gain my business and make me feel welcome, and I let them know I appreciate it. Cato employees should offer such an alternative too.

Of course in a store with "men's" and "women's" clothes, just search out the men's fitting rooms, which may be a long walk from the skirt racks!

[moonshadow]

n stores that cater only to women (in the traditional sense), I am sometimes offered the use of an employee restroom or stockroom to try things on, as an alternative to the awkward situation of a man in the women's fitting rooms. Those employees who offer this alternative obviously are hoping to gain my business and make me feel welcome, and I let them know I appreciate it. Cato employees should offer such an alternative too.

That would have been perfectly acceptable, and understandable.

Of course in a store with "men's" and "women's" clothes, just search out the men's fitting rooms, which may be a long walk from the skirt racks!

Of course! I don't "insist" on using female dressing rooms, if there is a male dressing room available I will use it, even it it is on the other side of the store.

An increasing part of me is just wanting to let this go. Just be done with it, keep the three skirts and just don't go back. The whole ordeal has been somewhat taxing on my morale, and I don't really think anything positive or productive will come out of it, it's just going to drive my bitterness further. If the news is any indicator, we have a very long way to go before we will know true fairness and equality, it probably won't be seen in my lifetime. I'll wind up biting off more than I can chew, and getting the kind of press that I don't want.

Perhaps my best course of action should be just to continue to wear my skirts, support businesses that support me, and continue to be a positive representative of men in skirts, and equal rights for men in general. I really don't want to come off as some "angry misogynist", and I know that's what's going to wind up happening. Goodwills have unisex dressing rooms, most department stores have male dressing rooms, and Misty Mountain Designs are tolerant and open minded, and real friends of men who wear skirts. There are ample establishments where this won't be an issue.

It's time to sleep it off, as I told my wife, I'd just like to put this day behind me.

[Judah14]

I find it strange that there are still "male" and "female" dressing rooms in other parts of the world, as here in the Philippines most dressing rooms could be used by both men and women, as they are private cubicles anyway!