Skirts at work

[Dinoco]

I know a lot of you have made the jump to wearing skirts to work, but I haven't seen a lot of discussion about what that was like at the outset. I work at a semi-casual office in New England doing computer-based work. My co-workers as yet don't know about my skirts; I'm effeminate enough in general that they probably wouldn't be too surprised, but still it would be a big step, particularly in a company comprised almost entirely of men. While I would like to express my identity more honestly in the workplace, I fear reprisals and awkwardness. I'm also uncertain as to whether this is something I should discuss with my boss before actually doing it. So to those of you who've gone there already-- how did you start? What happened the first time? The second time? If any of you started and then stopped again, why?

[crfriend]

[...] I work at a semi-casual office in New England doing computer-based work.

Technical folks, as far as I've been able to tell over the years, are remarkably understanding and tolerant so long as your technical chops remain intact. It's [Dilbert-style] Managers that are the likely problems.

So to those of you who've gone there already-- how did you start? What happened the first time? The second time? If any of you started and then stopped again, why?

The first inkling that any of the supervisory structure had on the matter with me was in the mid 2000s when I get called in on a Saturday afternoon by a utterly panicked Manager who when faced with a power-cut had no clue what to do and demanded that I drop whatever I was doing and COME IN IMMEDIATELY. I did not bother to change out of the skirt I was wearing at the time, and had there been any static about the matter at the time I would have quit on the spot. Instead, I was met by the EU Director of Operations (not the one who called me) who eyed me, rather suspiciously, up-and-down, and let me get on with the plumbing job that needed doing and that we weren't allowed to do right in the first place as the thing was a rush job. I took note of his furrowed brow at the time, but come Monday got a comment of, You rocked that look!"

After that, I wore skirts whenever I wanted to.

I the gig I have now, which is vastly more human than the last one, I started wearing skirts in the midst of a heat-wave where the building we're in didn't have air-conditioning. I've been wearing them whenever I feel like it since.

It's really not a problem. If you provide a meaningful service to the company in return for your salary folks will usually be tolerant.

Yesterday afternoon, my boss asked me what the blocking-points were to putting systems on the new UPS we recently bought, and I simply said, "Downtime scheduling". It was unspoken, but the boss's body language and action fairly well screamed, "Let's rock!" And we did. And life got better. Yes, I was wearing a skirt at the time; it didn't matter, although I wish I'd worn a cooler one as it got hot in the computer room what with all the work involved -- all systems uncabled, new ones run and properly dressed, and power-draw decently balanced. It was a good day.

[Caultron]

I know a lot of you have made the jump to wearing skirts to work, but I haven't seen a lot of discussion about what that was like at the outset. I work at a semi-casual office in New England doing computer-based work. My co-workers as yet don't know about my skirts; I'm effeminate enough in general that they probably wouldn't be too surprised, but still it would be a big step, particularly in a company comprised almost entirely of men. While I would like to express my identity more honestly in the workplace, I fear reprisals and awkwardness. I'm also uncertain as to whether this is something I should discuss with my boss before actually doing it. So to those of you who've gone there already-- how did you start? What happened the first time? The second time? If any of you started and then stopped again, why?

Special occasions are a good excuse, such as office parties, St. Patrick's Day, Haloween, and casual Fridays. If that produces no special opposition, try doing it again and see what happens.

As to asking your boss ahead of time, use discretion but also remember that in general, it's easier to get forgiveness than permission.

I my case, I wore a utility kilt on the plane to a customer conference and let various co-workers see me in it before the conference began. I also went to lunch with one of them. Once the conference started I wore pants, so as not to upset the customers, but after the conference we had an all-employees dinner and I wore a kilt to that. No one had a thing to say except the president, who came over to me at the dinner table and asked,"I hear you're wearing a *kilt*?" I replied, "Why yes, I am," and then he responded, "Good show," and that was it.

Then next day I was traveling home wearing a different kilt and the president noticed me in the airport security line. That discussion went, "Hi Jim," "Hi, Dave, have a good trip," "And you," and that was the end of it.

If it matters, I, too, am a software developer. Geeky professions are probably an easier sell than customer-facing ones.

[r.m.anderson]

cr -

"Yes, I was wearing a skirt at the time; it didn't matter, although I wish I'd worn a cooler one as it got hot in the computer room what with all the work involved -- all systems uncabled, new ones run and properly dressed, and power-draw decently balanced."

It is not supposed to get warm in a computer room (vault) - computers don't like heat !
Air Conditioning and you in skirted wear work comfortably together around computers.

When I was working years (eons) ago I had to remind the Dilbert bosses that:
"If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen and to stop cooking with the oven doors open"!
Less workers in the computer room the better that way the machinery only needs to contend with
cooling itself instead of room full of Dilbert like bosses !

And "Greetings to all and to all a Good Night" !

[crfriend]

It is not supposed to get warm in a computer room (vault) - computers don't like heat !
Air Conditioning and you in skirted wear work comfortably together around computers.

This didn't have anything to do with the room getting hot, this had to do with the fact that I was wearing my fleece skirt, fairly heavy-weight dress shirt, and a wool waistcoat and was working at odd angles and not having anything to sit or rest on whilst working. Had I known what was going to be happening that afternoon I would have dressed differently, possibly even in trousers because I would care if I got those dirty by sitting on the floor.

Too, this is a very different computing environment than the ones I grew used to earlier on in my career which were all in top-tier facilities with backup-generators, N+1 cooling and power provisioning, and UPSes for everything including most of the lights. We just installed a 3kVA UPS for the sole purpose of getting the systems shut down gracefully -- everywhere else I've worked, the UPS was there to hold the systems up until the backup generator got stabilized at speed and could shoulder the load.

[Darryl]

Wasn't AT work, but it was LEAVING work.

As I got to the elevators a tall, lovely blonde was waiting and got into the arriving elevator and held the door.

I jogged up and got in, pushed the floor I needed and we looked at each other.

I had on my black knit knee-length pencil skirt, beige support hose, tennis shoes, black polo shirt and a Hilfigger hoodie.

She basically had on a huge grin.

Wished I had had more time to talk but the elevator arrived and we had to go our separate and opposite ways.

[Caultron]

?..I had on my black knit knee-length pencil skirt, beige support hose, tennis shoes, black polo shirt and a Hilfigger hoodie.

She basically had on a huge grin...(

I'm going to assume she had some clothes on, too. If not, please elaborate.

In any event, I have a lot more incidents like this when I'm wearing a skirt than when wearing pants.

For example, an attractive woman will occasionally remark, "I like your kilt." But I've never had one say, "I like your pants."

[DonaldG]

For example, an attractive woman will occasionally remark, "I like your kilt." But I've never had one say, "I like your pants."

Yes Caultron, my experience too. I think that's why, here in Scotland, many men who would NEVER consider wearing a skirt, just love to wear their kilt!

[STEVIE]

Workwise, I started with a particular dress-down day and kept it like that for about a year, give or take.
Then at Christmas two years ago, the bosses announced that these would be continuous for the "Festive Period", i.e into the New Year.
That was my personal springboard, and since then I've been mostly full-time working in a skirt.
In the early part of this year I had a bit of a set back. I only wore trousers to work for about a month or two. Oddly, that drew more comments and expressions of genuine concern than my skirts did.
My counsel, for what it's worth, don't risk getting fired. If you need the job, the skirt is not worth that sacrifice.
For a first outing, I'd use a special occasion as others suggested and I actually did.
Finally, tell a few "trusted" colleagues and your boss. In my case, I told one or two who I knew damn well would not be able to resist a bit of gossip and it worked. For an "office" so steeped in confidentiality, I still surprised a lot of people that day.
I'm lucky, I don't face public or customers. I perform better in a skirt and the all vital "statistics" bear that out. I also tick the "diversity box", which I also use as much as I can.
Just be careful.
Steve.

[Darryl]

?..I had on my black knit knee-length pencil skirt, beige support hose, tennis shoes, black polo shirt and a Hilfigger hoodie.

She basically had on a huge grin...(

I'm going to assume she had some clothes on, too. If not, please elaborate.

In any event, I have a lot more incidents like this when I'm wearing a skirt than when wearing pants.

For example, an attractive woman will occasionally remark, "I like your kilt." But I've never had one say, "I like your pants."

Aye. I had a small group of twenty-somethings eyeballing me as I walked up and past, smiles, a couple 'hungry looks' and the blonde on their right said I looked good. I pulled my phone out and made a note of the incident. Guys will usually avert their eyes, stare straight ahead and a very few will do classic 'double takes.' The ladies are much more cool, sometimes giving a once-over while trying not to look like they are and a small smile.

Yesterday's young lady, however, (and yes, she had clothing on) had a 'million candlepower' smile which I found highly distracting. We were both smiling and looking right at each other but she out-grinned me about 10-to-1. Just wish I'd said something...like asking if she'd like to go to StarBuck's or something. Hope I meet her again sometime.

[Caultron]

...Yesterday's young lady, however, (and yes, she had clothing on)

Yes, I suspected as much, just kidding...

had a 'million candlepower' smile which I found highly distracting. We were both smiling and looking right at each other but she out-grinned me about 10-to-1. Just wish I'd said something...like asking if she'd like to go to StarBuck's or something. Hope I meet her again sometime.

Who'da thunk wearing a skirt would turn a guy into a chick magnet, eh?

Maybe the secret will come out and that sort of thing will get popular.

[crfriend]

Who'da thunk wearing a skirt would turn a guy into a chick magnet, eh?

But it does -- and I'm not even "on the market". Skirts also make for very good "bozo filters" as women with closed minds won't bother to chat you up. If I was single, I would leverage this.

As far as risking one's position at a workplace simply to wear a skirt, it's not usually worth it unless the place is a real pit and you want out anyway. From first-hand experience, even though it does check a tick-box, if an employer -- or even a single Manager -- wants you gone badly enough he'll make that trade, and at least here in the USA a white, straight, middle-aged male who happens to wear skirts has no purchase whatsoever in the legal system. That said, if you're respected for what you do then it'll likely not be a problem. "YMMV"

[Kilted_John]

<snip>
Who'da thunk wearing a skirt would turn a guy into a chick magnet, eh?

Maybe the secret will come out and that sort of thing will get popular.

That has happened a few times with me. Not at any place I've worked at, but, there have been some interesting tales. A few can probably be discovered by going through the archives here

First was at a place called Gi Joe's. Was a combination Auto Parts store/sporting goods store. Walked in wearing a light green a-line knee-length skirt, a pair of kilt socks and hiking boots, as well as a navy-blue "Portugal" logo t-shirt. This pretty hot brunette chick who was manning the register noticed me and got this huge grin on her face. Back then, I was still kinda stuck in my cocoon, so not very outgoing. Anyway, got what I needed, then came back. Got rung up, then, as I was getting ready to leave, she said for me to have an awesome day. Never saw her again.

A few months later, I was in the grocery store, picking up a few items we needed for home. Walked up to the checkout stand and hit the bell for service (was around 10:00 pm). This girl who was stocking the shelves looks up, and drops the items she had in her hands. Picks them up and puts them away, then comes over and rings me up. She said nothing about my outfit, but I suspect she may've been a little embarrassed about what happened.

A few weeks after that incident, another one occurs. This time, a woman in her 50's starts swooning over the fact that she thinks guys in kilts are "so sexy". Just doesn't stop. That incident, and the one that happened just after that one were a little unnerving. The next one was outside the local kiltmaker's shop. Two women, again, in their 50's or so, start swooning over my outfit while my sister happens to be at my side. Both of us think it's a little weird, but go on our business...

After that, it probably was a year or two before any more unusual girl-related magnetic fields appeared. For the most part, it was just people asking the usual "are you scottish" "do you play the pipes" type of questions... The usual stuff that turns a tartan kilt wearer into the "Christmas dinner table centerpiece" as I like to call it. Probably the main reason why I don't wear them anymore. I do kinda like having some anonymity, even if I am not in traditional male attire.

In the summer of 2005, I was working for Utilikilts. Two "magnetic field anomalies" occured off the clock, and one while on the clock. First one was when I was getting ready to leave Glazer's Camera Supply (a camera shop in Seattle). Started unlocking the car, when I heard a woman say "I love you". Was in a survival UK, a pair of trouser sox, and athletic shoes at the time. No exchange of phone numbers, unfortunately. Second time was while I was working at the shop. This one was probably the weirdest one I've had. Was stocking the racks at the front of the shop, and had just come down the stairs from the main area of the building. Walked past this woman who was probably 75-80. She noticed me, then said "Yum", while licking her chops... A few lol's were passed around after she and the other customers left that day. The third time was when I was at a thrift store in Everett, WA. One of the employees came out of the back, saw me, then asked me where I got my kilt. When I mentioned that it was a regular skirt, she turned around and stormed off into the back, apparently not very happy with my response. I've run into her at another location a couple times, with no ill feelings toward me, so she must've gotten over it. Turns out she's Irish (as in actually born in Ireland), but, apparently didn't like her accent, so has worked hard at trying to sound American. A shame, really. But, oh well.

I've had countless other episodes, most recently being a girl at a feed store/nursery a few miles from here. Thought that it was awesome that I was willing to think outside the box and that I rocked her world for doing so.

[Caultron]

...thought that it was awesome that I was willing to think outside the box and that I rocked her world for doing so.

Yes, that's the reaction. It doesn't happen often but it does happen.

It happened to me most recently in a Target store. I was looking for some decongestant and suddenly heard a woman's voice say, "Oh wow, that totally rocks!" I had no idea what she was talking about but turned to see and there she was, looking at me, in her 20's, wearing a grunge outfit. "Your whole outfit absolutely rocks," she told me, so I thanked her and then we went our separate ways.

The outfit, BTW, was a Sportkilt "Team" utility kilt, which is basically black with woodland camo inside the pleats, an olive long-sleeved polo shirt, and olive knee-high walking socks.

http://sportkilt.com/product/7661/Team- ... -Kilt.html

I'd say something like this happens about once every two months and it's certainly an ego-booster. I'm sure nothing would come of it even if I tried, but it's still positive reinforcement.

More often I get what seem to be smiles of appreciation but since nothing is said it's hard to be sure.

[Sinned]

Here's my situation: I work for a national retailer on checkout at the moment but that could change to working on the shop floor filling shelves etc. Until 16th January I am on a temporary contract but my Manager has said that they are going to make my role permanent and I will be given a new contract shortly. Now the dress code specifies black trousers or a knee-length black skirt but doesn't stipulate that the skirts are only for women. Now I have hinted about my skirt wearing in a jokey sort of way but I don't know how much credence they have placed on that. Three questions:

1. So once I have signed my permanent contract do you think I should mention my skirt wearing then as staff members may see me around and about in a skirt?
2. Do you think that I should ask if its ok for me to wear a skirt at work?
3. Lastly how do you think I should approach the issue of my going round the store in a skirt when I am not on duty?

Frankly this last scenario is the one that I am most worried about although I don't really know why and it's perhaps my last major hurdle. I know that in the end it's my decision but some of you have been through this situation and there has been some really sound advice given in the past. I suppose that I'm really trying to get some moral support on this.