Skirt Cafe is an on-line community dedicated to exploring, promoting and advocating skirts and kilts as a fashion choice for men, formerly known as men in skirts. We do this in the context of men's fashion freedom --- an expansion of choices beyond those commonly available for men to include kilts, skirts and other garments. We recognize a diversity of styles our members feel comfortable wearing, and do not exclude any potential choices. Continuing dialog on gender is encouraged in the context of fashion freedom for men. See here for more details.
I was coming home from work and stopped at a Moby Dick Seafood place to get supper and take home. Ordered two Whale sandwiches (which used to come with 3 pieces of fish and for the last year or so have fallen to 2 pieces).
I saw the lady cook looking at me and smiling...and when I got home and took out one sandwich for supper and the other in the fridge for tomorrow I noticed that both were stacked with three large pieces of fish.
Hmmm...she liked my skirt? (Black knee-length pencil skirt with a tan polo shirt on top, beige support hose and black Brooks Addiction walkers.)
Might have to go back a few times and eat in, and see if I can strike up a conversation.....
pelmut wrote:A year or two ago I was assisting at a public meeting and noticed one man who just couldn't take his eyes off me. I was answering his wife's questions and he was standing in the background; out of the corner of my eye I could see him staring open-mouthed alternately at my face and then at my skirt. He tried to turn away but his gaze kept coming back to me. I don't remember which skirt I was wearing, but it would have been something sober and formal to suit the occasion.
I was reminded of this a few days ago, when I was at a neighbour's house having a brief conversation with a friend of hers. His eyes kept unconsciously straying downwards to my skirt; as soon as he realised what he was doing, he jerked his gaze back upwards - but it soon strayed down again. He had met me several times before, so he already knew I wore skirts; the skirt I wore that day I was an unremarkable, calf-length, 'A'-line style in denim, so there was nothing particularly unusual about it to attract his attention.
Most people seem to adapt to seeing a man in a skirt quite quickly, so I am wondering why these two men appeared to have such a problem.
Oh joy, an opportunity to imagine what the thought-bubble above their heads say!
The second one could be easier because we know what you were wearing but what would "sober and formal" likely mean? If can assume something from the femme spectrum like a pencil skirt, hose and heels, I can relate to it because I have experienced that once at Hallowe'en. The thought bubble on the guy looking at me repeatedly was "I can't stop looking but I know that's just Daryl so why do I want to touch his legs?" (I wanted to do unspeakable things to my own reflection in the mirror that time, so I understood)
The second one is harder but I think this could be plausible: "Damn that looks comfortable and I want to interject and ask about it but I hope he just notices my interest and hands me a friendly opening so I don't have to interrupt or look too too interested."
skirtingtoday wrote:I would say people DO notice but don't say anything.
A couple of examples. I play bridge locally and have worn a tartan kilt and several skirts (a black Skirtcraft skirt, a dark blue denim skirt from M&S and a khaki cargo skirt) and one lady commented that I have quite a variety of skirts! And further observe that the khaki one looked a bit tight on me. I replied that I still had to get rid of few Xmas meals which she smiled at.
.
One possibility is that people are being reasonable. Consider this...if a man can wear two pipes, what is so bad about wearing one pipe?
I'm with you on that one. People are being reasonable. I think that largely they are far less interested than we expect them to be.
pelmut wrote:A year or two ago I was assisting at a public meeting and noticed one man who just couldn't take his eyes off me...
[...]
Most people seem to adapt to seeing a man in a skirt quite quickly, so I am wondering why these two men appeared to have such a problem.
Oh joy, an opportunity to imagine what the thought-bubble above their heads say!
That's an interesting approach, because I had the feeling that neither of them was consciously thinking about it in a rational way; their eyes seemed to be on auto-pilot. I have come across a whole spectrum of rational and semi-rational responses to my skirts, but these two were something different; it was as though their brains had become jammed by something that was completely beyond their comprehension.
... what would "sober and formal" likely mean? If can assume something from the femme spectrum like a pencil skirt, hose and heels
It was probably one of my fairly full ankle-length black cotton skirts and I would have worn it with black socks and plain 'sensible' shoes. The top would have been a 'T'-shirt and dark-coloured woollen pullover or possibly a conventional lighter-coloured shirt and tie, with a more formal jacket. There was nothing particularly feminine about it and certainly nothing sexy or provocative.
The second one is harder but I think this could be plausible: "Damn that looks comfortable and I want to interject and ask about it but I hope he just notices my interest and hands me a friendly opening so I don't have to interrupt or look too too interested."
My neighbour had already told me that this chap cannot understand why I wear skirts and had advised her to insist on me wearing trousesrs when I am with her. She has told him quite firmly that I can wear what I like.
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
pelmut wrote:A year or two ago I was assisting at a public meeting and noticed one man who just couldn't take his eyes off me...
[...]
Most people seem to adapt to seeing a man in a skirt quite quickly, so I am wondering why these two men appeared to have such a problem.
Oh joy, an opportunity to imagine what the thought-bubble above their heads say!
That's an interesting approach, because I had the feeling that neither of them was consciously thinking about it in a rational way; their eyes seemed to be on auto-pilot. I have come across a whole spectrum of rational and semi-rational responses to my skirts, but these two were something different; it was as though their brains had become jammed by something that was completely beyond their comprehension.
... what would "sober and formal" likely mean? If can assume something from the femme spectrum like a pencil skirt, hose and heels
It was probably one of my fairly full ankle-length black cotton skirts and I would have worn it with black socks and plain 'sensible' shoes. The top would have been a 'T'-shirt and dark-coloured woollen pullover or possibly a conventional lighter-coloured shirt and tie, with a more formal jacket. There was nothing particularly feminine about it and certainly nothing sexy or provocative.
The second one is harder but I think this could be plausible: "Damn that looks comfortable and I want to interject and ask about it but I hope he just notices my interest and hands me a friendly opening so I don't have to interrupt or look too too interested."
My neighbour had already told me that this chap cannot understand why I wear skirts and had advised her to insist on me wearing trousesrs when I am with her. She has told him quite firmly that I can wear what I like.
DARN, zero for two! Well, I am sure other opportunities will pop up.
My guess on the second one might not be all that far off though. He did seem to be signalling that he had something he wanted to say. Were you tempted to tell him to just spit it out?
My thoughts on this are why did that man feel he had to tell this woman to tell YOU how to dress. He is obviously not man enough to confront you directly!!!
renesm1 wrote:My thoughts on this are why did that man feel he had to tell this woman to tell YOU how to dress. He is obviously not man enough to confront you directly!!!
He tries to give the impression that he is very much 'a man', which immediately suggests to me that he isn't. I cannot say too much because I would not want to identify him, but I feel this has only just scratched the surface of something much deeper.
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
I was walking along the street today and there was a convoy of 4WD's, must be a club for retiree couples, creeping along rubber-necking when they see me in a mini skirt. The woman passenger's (typically the passenger) mouth opening and shutting while looking at me. One was holding a CB radio, forewarning the following cars. I just smiled and nodded a friendly greeting.
It is strange, most tourists are very friendly when they get out of their cars and are keen to have a talk but when in the car they seem to think it is a private space and look though the window as if it is a TV monitor.
Some even pick their noses in the "privacy" of the car - gee I wouldn't even pick my nose in front of a smart TV these days.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia
I had a dude at a bar ask me if I was "gay or something" because I was wearing a skirt. I looked at him, smiled, and said, "No, but I do have a friend that is gay, and he has a shirt exactly like yours." He got the point.
I recall an analysis in the Fashion Freestyler (formerly Casual Crossdresser) blog....
....that if you are willing to step out of the confines of conventional masculinity, it is because you feel no need for womens' approval. And if there is one group of men who aren't trying to appeal to women-who don't feel obliged to jump through hoops-its Gay Men.
Grok wrote:And as skirts are associated almost entirely with females, surely no straight/cisgender male would risk trying one on.
Save for the brave.
See Mike's comment.
Grok wrote:....that if you are willing to step out of the confines of conventional masculinity, it is because you feel no need for womens' approval. And if there is one group of men who aren't trying to appeal to women-who don't feel obliged to jump through hoops-its Gay Men.
This is precisely the herd-mentality that we need to buck and disprove -- and it's not going to happen with group-think; it's going to happen because a few renegades are willing to step away from the herd and be noticed in a positive way. In short, "Be the change you want to see in the world." because if you're not, nobody is going to do it for you. Put slightly more crassly, "Don't be part of the problem."
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
